I cooked frantically, driven by the looming expiration dates of my massive ingredient surplus.
Ha ha ha!
As long as I wasn't starving, I was invincible!
I dropped a mountain of potatoes into the deep fryer.
"Let the victory celebration begin!"
"We crushed the Corpse Eaters! We did it!"
Isono stood up, a beer mug clutched in each hand. Everyone cheered in delight. With this, we had likely wiped out the Corpse Eaters' Mainland. I didn't have to worry about them anymore. The death match against those idiotic creatures was finally over.
The Zen Divine Race likely still existed somewhere, but they were far away. I planned to head to Rosaria, build fortresses like crazy, and create a complete stalemate.
Ha ha ha!
Suffer! Grow exhausted! I’ll slowly erode your nation like a cavity in a molar!
There was no need for me to end the war in my generation. I would turn harassing the Zen Divine Race into a national project, one bloated with vested interests. I’d automate everything with drones to keep casualties to a minimum. I wondered how long Zen Divine Race-kun could endure a war that never ended.
In the meantime, the Jesters would continue to multiply through the diagnostics at Rosaria. The Zork and the elite soldiers of the Beast Race would also keep increasing.
Now, you ancient ghosts! Let’s play a game! An endless war, a profitless victory, and the confidence of a transcendent being being trampled underfoot—I wondered how long their leadership could take it. Of course, there was no guarantee they were the same type of lifeform as us, but it didn't matter.
For now, we celebrated.
Isono and Hanako-san brought Hanezu-chan along to the party.
"Gyawaaa!" Melissa and Rikochi shrieked.
Melissa was a "desperately wants a child" extremist. Rikochi was more of a "I want one eventually, but not right now" type. Even so, they both clearly loved children.
Melissa was delighted, shouting "Gyawaaa!" as she looked at Ark-chan and Towa-chan. Of course, she let out another shriek when she saw Ren’s sextuplets in their stroller. Those kids would climb over anything but the sturdiest fences, so I immediately handed them over to the Wet Nurse Squad. As expected of my children, they were already trying to make a break for it in search of freedom.
Then, the star of the show finally made an appearance: Saijo-kun's Older Sister.
While the nominal head of the Wet Nurse Squad was my mother, the practical, operational head was Saijo-kun's Older Sister. It seemed the responsibilities for Amada’s household had been handed over to someone else.
Saijo-kun's Older Sister was a classic Japanese-style beauty. Saijo-kun, who suffered from a severe sister complex, leaned in and whispered to me, "If you lay a hand on her, I’ll kill you."
"What exactly do you think I am?" I asked.
"The Harem King."
He wasn't wrong, but his assessment was far removed from my actual reality.
"Saijo-kun, you know better, right? It’s true I have a reputation, but half of that is just Wifey’s conspiracy..."
"If the target of that conspiracy becomes my sister, I’ll kill you."
Saijo-kun... please stop trying to intimidate me while wearing that Taisho Roman-style maid uniform. The intensity of a beautiful person was truly terrifying.
"Tell that to Wifey!"
"Our house consists of loyal subjects to the Emperor. We are not vassals of Chronos!"
"Ah! You’re really going to say that? You think you can say whatever you want to me just because I'm easygoing!"
"Of course I can! You monster, Kawagon!"
"That’s so mean!"
And so, I possessed no royal dignity whatsoever. I felt my true capacity was limited to being the owner of a yakisoba stand. No—the owner of a restaurant, ninety percent of which fail, was a much Higher Existence than a king. Surviving the warring states period of food trucks had to be harder than defeating the Corpse Eaters.
And with that, yakisoba!
Today, I decided to make okonomiyaki with yakisoba inside. I was the one who wanted to eat it, after all. I also planned to make the long-awaited yakitori... or rather, Nina-san would.
Yakitori was an infinite universe. The meat had already been skewered. Maybe I’d open a take-out-only yakitori shop after I retired as king. I could build a yakitori factory in the basement of the Lepsitol Sumo arena... wait, no. The scale was getting too large; that wasn't a retirement plan anymore.
Charlotte joined the after-party as well. She looked like she was having fun talking with the female Zork spies. I loaded the okonomiyaki—the naming of which was always a point of contention—and the yakitori platters onto the delivery robots and sent them off.
This time, with robot support and Saijo-kun and the others helping to serve, the tasks were finished at a brisk pace.
"I’ve brought the food, woof!" barked a dog-shaped robot. It was adorable.
Everyone was drinking beer or Sake-sama. Rikochi was sticking to Japanese Sake. Wifey, Claire, and Ren were all drinking as well, likely making up for the time they couldn't touch alcohol during their pregnancies. I figured I’d have a low-malt beer once I was done cooking. For some reason, I didn’t love regular beer all that much, though I didn't hate it.
I had also invited the warriors from Repsitore. They were the recipients of this mission's Fighting Spirit Award. One-O-One, Tatiana, and Shi-yun were there too, though they were being uncharacteristically quiet.
Shi-yun probably realized she had overstepped. However, if you asked if she could have been stopped... honestly, I thought it would have been difficult. Shi-yun had promised her people revenge. Vengeance was the consensus of her citizens. It wasn’t like Kishin Nation, where revenge was a virtue, but it was still hard to argue against national sentiment.
Shi-yun herself was still stuck in a "revenger" mindset. Taikyoku Nation was a Friendly Nation, not a Vassal State. I had no intention of formally protesting their recent outburst, because I was the one who had overlooked the possibility. I was the one who had been foolish. I kept overlooking the complexities of the human heart at the most crucial moments.
God... how can I become the ultimate Strategist?
"Oh, here’s Zashiki-warashi’s portion."
"Thank you!"
I gave a dish to Zashiki-warashi as a present. Wait, what happened? My memory of the moments just before and after suddenly vanished. Was I aiming to be the ultimate chef? I felt like half of that wish had already come true. It wasn’t like I wanted to open a high-end restaurant anyway.
"Surgery's finished... I'm starving..."
I handed out a serving to the exhausted Dr. Kevin as well. At this point, anyone who was hungry got fed.
Then, Melissa approached me with a smile.
"What's up?" I asked.
"I want a baby."
"That’s quite direct."
"It’s not like we aren’t trying, so shouldn’t it happen eventually?"
The checkups hadn't shown any abnormalities. We were healthy and young, so it should happen sooner or later.
"I have to worry, because you almost die in your daily life the moment I take my eyes off you..."
"I'm sorry!"
I had been making her worry far too much.
I could see Leonidas-kun, who was in a similar position, being pampered by Big Sister-in-Law Uta. House Tachibana seemed to be quite overprotective.
Our daily life continued like this.
Next up was the Exploration Phase. The planet thought to be the Mainland was currently occupied by the Latania Army. It was a Desert Planet of rock and sand. The atmosphere was thin, making it unsuitable for habitation. However, they had confirmed the existence of dome-shaped buildings, believed to belong to past residents.
Perhaps they were the ruins of a mining site. The Latania Army was currently exploring to see if there was anything hidden underground. We would get the results soon enough.
Until then, I decided we would just enjoy our daily lives. I grilled some meat for Ren... and then I decided to take half for myself.