I couldn’t focus on class. My chest had been tight with a lingering anxiety since the moment it happened.
The reason for my agitation was obvious; it had started the second that familiar boy collapsed. I was horrified when he went down with a heavy thud and didn’t get back up. He had fallen with such a pathetic sound that I expected him to spring right back up, but something was clearly wrong. I found myself rushing over alongside the flustered teacher.
“Sajocchi...!? Hey, Sajocchi!?”
My best friend, Ashida Kei, and several other boys were calling out to him as he lay there, limp. By the time I reached them from my seat on the other side of the room, the other boys were already supporting him. He was slumped forward, and I couldn't see his face.
It was only when the teacher directed the boys to carry him out that I finally caught a glimpse of him. His face, which was usually so carefree and silly, was bright red and twisted in pain. It looked miserable. Looking at him, my own heart started to pound so hard it felt like it was swelling in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I must have been in a daze; even after they carried him out, I stood frozen until a classmate finally called out to me.
(I wonder if he’s okay...)
Seeking some kind of peace of mind, I instinctively looked toward my best friend. Perhaps I was hoping she would give me a look that said everything was fine, just like she always did. But she was merely staring at the empty seat in front of her, her face unusually pale.
◇
As soon as class ended, I headed straight for the Health Room. Kei came with me. We knocked and entered, where we were met by the school nurse, Ms. Shindo. When we asked about the boy who had collapsed, she seemed to understand why we were there and told us that, based on his symptoms, it was likely just a common cold. I felt a wave of relief so strong that I let out a long, unintentional sigh.
“Oh my, quite the sinful performance,” Ms. Shindo remarked.
When I explained how he had looked when he fell, she voiced her impression with total nonchalance. Was I the only one who felt it wasn't something to be dismissed so lightly? Regardless, her attitude confirmed that his condition wasn't life-threatening, which allowed me to relax a little more. Still, there was no doubt he had a high fever.
I sanitized my hands and put on a mask before ducking behind the curtain of the bed by the window. I had never seen him sleep with his mouth set in such a firm, thin line; it felt strangely new to me, and it made me realize just how expressive he usually was. Seeing him in such distress made me understand that his typical easygoing attitude wasn't something I should take for granted.
“Go on back now. Your next class is starting.”
“Oh, u-um—”
At the nurse’s prompting, the two of us were practically shooed out into the hallway. My best friend’s worried expression was a mirror of the feelings I was harboring.
He was just a classmate. Was it strange of me to feel the same kind of protectiveness for him that I felt for my younger sister? No matter how hard I tried to put it out of my mind, seeing him tormented by that fever reminded me of the way Airi used to cry in the middle of the night.
He was in the Health Room, and he had a nurse watching over him. Knowing that much helped me calm down significantly. I didn’t know why, but it felt like he was the type to try and force himself to swallow his own sadness and pain alone. If the school nurse was keeping a constant eye on him, I could breathe a little easier.
(Thank goodness... wait, why am I worrying this much!?)
It felt exactly like the sensation of a family member being bedridden. Once I realized that, my face grew hot at the thought that these weren't emotions a girl should have for a boy. I started talking to my best friend to distract myself, and by the time we got back to the classroom, we had both regained some of our composure.
◇
We returned to the classroom before fourth period began. The reason we had backed off so easily in the Health Room was that being noisy might have woken him up. More importantly, Ms. Shindo would have been furious. I was also worried about the risk of catching whatever he had and passing it on to Airi.
A lingering, unprocessable sense of frustration kept me from concentrating through fourth period. Looking around, the room seemed normal, yet the absence of that one person at the edge of my vision made it feel like half the seats were empty. Before I knew it, the chime signaled the end of class.
Regardless of where he sat, he was who he was... his presence was so large, for better or worse, that his absence felt fundamentally wrong. It even felt strange to see an empty space around my social butterfly of a best friend. Were they really that important to me?
(...W-Wait a minute. I get that for Kei, but why am I thinking about him like this—)
I caught myself and tried to think rationally. It was bizarre. He wasn't supposed to be such a significant presence in my life. Even if we had known each other for a while, he had mostly just been a nuisance. I was supposed to be annoyed with him. And yet, why was he occupying so much of my thoughts?
“Whoa...! So cool...”
“...?”
A girl’s murmur was followed by a sudden stir in the classroom. Noticing the unusual atmosphere, I looked up to see a celebrity standing at the classroom door.
“Hello. Um... Ashida-san, was it?”
“H-Hi... I-It's been a long time!”
It was Shinomiya Rin-senpai, the Disciplinary Committee President. My best friend, who was a massive fan, stood up with the rigid posture of a soldier to answer her.
Her long ponytail was tied up high and swayed gracefully with her movements. She was so dignified that I could understand why she was an idol to other girls.
(Is she here for Wataru...?)
When I thought about why she would visit our class, the face of the boy currently in the Health Room came to mind. Why was a senior like the Disciplinary Committee President even an acquaintance of his? What business could someone so popular have with him?
“I had business with Sajou... but it seems he isn't here.”
“A-Actually—”
Within ten seconds of her arrival, Shinomiya-senpai and Kei were surrounded by girls. The senior was treated exactly like a male idol. In a way, Kei was similar... or at least, her hairstyle made her look more like a boy...
“Hehe... Aichi...”
“...!”
I shook my head to clear the delusion.
No way. Kei might have a boyish haircut, but she was far too charming to ever be mistaken for a guy. To me, she was a cute, reliable friend. The fact that she called me by that silly nickname "Aichi" was proof enough. Her personality and mannerisms were entirely girlish. Besides, she was currently looking at the senior with the starstruck face of a total girl.
Despite her nerves, my best friend explained the situation regarding the boy sleeping in the Health Room. As the senior’s expression grew increasingly grim, I started to feel anxious just watching. Still, I couldn't just stay quiet when it came to him, so I approached the two of them.
“—So you're saying Sajou collapsed?”
“Yes...”
“Then... Kaede likely hasn't heard about it yet.”
"Kaede." The name sounded familiar, and then it clicked. Sajou Kaede. His older sister. It seemed Shinomiya-senpai had asked her if there were any messages before coming here. Since the sister had acted completely normal, she had assumed she didn't know her brother had been taken to the Health Room.
“Mmph... I’d like to track down that truck and give them a piece of my mind... but that’s not the priority. It’s just started lunch break, so—are you two going?”
“Oh, yes... we were planning to go to the Health Room.”
“I’ll head over later as well. You two should go on ahead.”
“Y-Yes!”
She turned on her heel and hurried away. Every movement she made was sharp and precise, giving off an aura of someone trained in martial arts. She was probably quite strong; you don't project that kind of confidence otherwise. She was genuinely cool, and I finally understood why Kei was such a fan. If you have that much confidence, the world must look entirely different to you.
“Kei, let’s go.”
“Hwah.”
“Kei.”
My best friend's cheeks were remarkably soft as I pinched them.
◇
I decided to bring his bag to the Health Room just in case. Kei was smirking and asking, “What do you think is in here?” while trying to peek inside, so I confiscated it. It was surprisingly light. I figured he must be leaving his textbooks at school. When I shook it slightly, I heard a metallic clink—probably his wallet or a coin purse.
“Oh... oops.”
A smartphone charger slipped out of a pocket, making me realize I was holding his bag up at eye level. Kei kept poking me, whispering, “Wanna open it? Wanna open it?” but my sense of justice held firm and I refused. No matter how much of a clown he was, he deserved his privacy. Besides, if a lewd book or something fell out, I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye ever again.
(But he is a boy... no, no, no! What am I thinking!?)
I told myself to settle down and regained my composure. There was no way he would bring something like that to school. At least, I hoped not. Regardless, I shouldn't be letting my mind wander. My friend walking next to me was a handful sometimes. I wondered where the girl who had scolded me so sternly had gone, and I let out a sigh.
“—Excuse us... oh?”
The scent of medicine greeted us as we entered the Health Room. Ms. Shindo was nowhere to be seen. In the silence, the only sound was the bubbling of the goldfish tank on the shelf.
Through the uncurtained glass door, I saw that the heavy rain from earlier had slowed to a light drizzle. The athletic field was covered in deep puddles, completely unusable. I wondered if our practical lessons would be canceled tomorrow.
There were three beds at the back of the room. The one furthest back, by the window, was the only one with the curtains closed. I knew instinctively that he was in there.
“Sajocchi...? Are you awake? ...Well, I guess he’s asleep.”
“Yeah... probably.”
I called out from outside the curtain, but there was no response. I didn't actually expect him to be awake in such a quiet room. I only called out because I was hoping for some sign that he was okay.
His breathing had sounded so labored before. It had only been an hour since he collapsed; he might not have woken up even once. He definitely hadn't recovered yet.
“I brought your bag... whoa.”
“Wait... what?”
Beside me, Kei called out softly as she slowly pulled back the curtain, then jumped back a step in surprise. I caught her and looked toward the bed peeking through the gap. My eyes flew open.
There was the usual white, stiff hospital bedding that I personally found a bit unpleasant. But behind the curtain, he was wrapped up in it, sitting quietly.
He was staring out the window at the light rain, his gaze fixed on the world outside.