"I love you. Please go out with me."
I poured my heart out to Aika with what I thought was an incredibly cool expression. To call it the confession of a lifetime would be a massive overstatement, though, considering how many times I'd repeated those exact same words. By now, they were probably just noise to her.
I watched the beautiful girl in front of me for a reaction as I took a sip of the fancy onion soup. I couldn't taste a thing, and my throat was still parched from nerves... Sorry, Mom. I ended up using two of your favorite packets for this.
"H-huh?! What are you even talking about?! There's no way I'd ever go out with you!"
Yeah, I figured as much. You're right.
"Hey... when did we actually start calling each other by our first names, anyway?"
"What’s with the sudden... first names? I think it was back when we started high school—wait, don’t act so familiar! People will get the wrong idea!"
That was true. From Aika's perspective, I was just a nuisance. I’d definitely been acting a bit too much like her boyfriend.
"...Right. You're absolutely right."
This was reality. This was what I’d been ignoring all this time. I’d been living a dream ever since middle school, pretending things were different, but this was the unvarnished truth. To think I’d finally wake up because of a soccer ball hitting a wall. And that mirror... you’re way too cruel. Rated R-18.
"No, my bad... Natsukawa."
"It's a bit late for an apolo—huh?"
Aika stared blankly at me after the sudden shift to her surname. No, Natsukawa did. It made sense. Even though she’d told me to stop a thousand times, I’d never listened; finally obeying her now was bound to be a shock.
Natsukawa froze, her finger still pointed accusingly at me. The sight was so bizarre that a smirk escaped my lips. Though, calling it a smirk might be too generous.
Even after facing reality—the mirror—my affection for Natsukawa hadn't changed. As long as I viewed her as an idol beyond my reach, I could feel proud of her. Just because I’d accepted the truth didn't mean I wanted to deny everything I felt.
But that was exactly why this greedy desire was unacceptable.
"I wouldn't ring no matter how hard I was struck, and the more I was beaten down, the more I clung to you. Normally speaking, that's just insane behavior."
"W-well... what are you even talking about...?"
"That’s because—"
"I’m ho-ome!"
Just as I was about to go on, a listless voice announced an entrance as the living room door swung open with a bang. Returning home like a total delinquent was my older sister, a third-year student currently in the middle of exam prep. She threw her bag aside and shrugged off her cardigan.
"Welcome back, Nee-chan. Try to keep it down, you nearly gave me a heart attack."
"Ugh, I’m seriously exhausted. Wataru, get me something to—wait."
My sister, Kaede, belly-flopped onto the sofa the moment she walked in. I couldn't help but sigh at her slovenly behavior, which didn't fit her elegant name at all. Growing up with a sister like this was probably one of the reasons I fell for Natsukawa in the first place. Modesty is a virtue, after all.
As I was lost in my own thoughts, Nee-chan finally noticed Natsukawa sitting there.
"W-Wataru brought a girl home!!?"
Seriously, she couldn't have phrased that any other way? Her voice was booming. The neighbors definitely heard that. I really wished she wouldn't go around sowing the seeds of misunderstanding...
A few seconds later, my mother—who had been picking my sister up from cram school—came rushing in, alerted by the shouting. When she saw me and Natsukawa just sitting across from each other at the dining table, her shoulders slumped in a massive sigh of relief.
Don't tell me she actually thought we were doing something...
"Don't be so misleading, you idiot!"
"Ow! B-but...!"
Yikes. It had been a while since I’d seen Mom actually get angry. Then again, Nee-chan’s scream had been far from normal.
Mom gave Nee-chan a quick smack on the head, straightened her slightly messy fleece jacket, and immediately switched on her "company’s coming" smile.
"G-good evening. Are you a friend of Wataru's?"
"Don't you think that’s a bit of an odd way to talk to a high schooler?"
"You be quiet for a minute!"
Mom was unusually emotional today. Both she and my sister straightened their backs and started looking Natsukawa up and down. Like sister, like mother—and by extension, like me, I guess. We were such a rude family. Seriously, cut it out. Stop appraising her!
"I mean, she's freaking gorgeous! There's no way she's your girlfriend, right!?"
"Of course not, you stupid girl! Look at them! There's... there's no romantic spark there at all!"
"True! No matter how you look at it, she's way out of Wataru's league!"
I appreciated the quick intuition, but they were really letting it fly. Was this actually my family? Was it possible I was some distant relative's kid they were just putting up with? No, come to think of it, this was business as usual. I wasn't even angry. I really did have a heart of steel.
Anyway, that should have made my point clear enough.
"—Or so it seems, Natsukawa. I never realized something so obvious until now, even though anyone would have seen it if they’d stopped to think for even a second."
"Huh...?"
"If you strike something, it rings. If you hit something, it flies away. If someone hates you, you don't stay near them. I guess that’s just how normal human relationships are supposed to work."
Deep down, I must have felt that dissonance for a long time. I loved Aika Natsukawa, but I could never actually picture the two of us together. Why?
Because no matter how I tried to imagine it, the two of us standing side-by-side never looked like a match. I would never intentionally humiliate myself by dwelling on such a cruel disparity in our appearances.
At the very least, I finally understood that things like looks and athletic ability were part of the world's innate inequality. That realization let me recognize my own standing. Waking up from that long dream allowed me to finally look back at the reality I’d been leaving behind.
"So, I've decided to start reading the room and follow the 'obvious' rules of the world. I'll try to keep a bit more of a level head from now on. So... nice to meet you, I guess."
"Nice to meet... You..."
I’d said my piece. Even for those who weren't stunning beauties like Natsukawa—girls who looked like they’d stepped out of a TV drama—plenty of ordinary people still enjoyed their youth. As long as I respected my own limits, I should be able to enjoy school life, too.
With that in mind, I decided to ask for a favor from someone whose social standing was fifty or sixty times higher than my own.
"—On that note, Natsukawa, do you have any friends who might be a good match for someone like me?"
"Wh...?! ...!!"
"H-huh...?"
Natsukawa’s shoulders began to tremble. No matter how I looked at her, she seemed absolutely furious. As a mere commoner being glared at by a beautiful girl, I didn't even have the courage to move. I’d expected her to look at me with a cold, exasperated expression, but this...
"—You're the absolute worst!!!"
"Whoa!?"
I reflexively braced myself, fully expecting a slap. But it never came. Instead, Natsukawa slammed both hands down on the dining table and bolted toward the front door. I hurried after her a moment later, but she was already gone.
"H-hey, Natsukawa!"
"Shut up, you idiot!"
Even as I tried to follow, Natsukawa brushed my hand away just like she always did and kept going. The last I saw of her was her silhouette rounding the corner, running away at full speed.