The school day finally came to a close without any further incidents. For some reason, today felt like it had lasted an eternity. I thought I’d managed to shake off that weirdness from this morning after getting some lunch, but... how should I put it? There was still this nagging sense of dissonance.
Also—was it just my imagination? The atmosphere in the classroom felt a little calmer than usual. I could’ve sworn it was much noisier up until yesterday...
"Phaaa... I’m beat..."
"What’s the matter, Yamazaki? You sleep-deprived?"
"Ngh, no, it’s not really that, but..."
Yamazaki, who sat to my right, was slumped over his desk and sighing. When I called out to him, I got a lukewarm response. What was up with this guy? Normally, wouldn't you be all excited to head home after school? Oh, that’s right—I remembered now that he was in the basketball club.
Turning my gaze away from Yamazaki toward the person on my left, Aika, I saw her sitting perfectly still, not yet making any move to pack up. Should I try talking to her... like I always do?
"Aika, want to head home?"
"Huh? ...W-Why would I go with you!"
"Ah, r-right... I get it. Well then, see you tomorrow."
"Eh... e-eh?"
I was usually treated like a nuisance anyway. I couldn't go on being a burden to the person I loved.
The hallway after school was bustling with students heading home and others heading to their club activities. I figured I’d stop somewhere on the way back. Come to think of it, there was a manga I used to read in middle school. I’d been collecting the volumes up to a certain point; I wondered if it was still running...
I decided to take care of business before leaving. The urge to go hit me the second I stood up.
"—Hm? Eh..."
Inside the boys' restroom, I caught sight of myself in the large mirror above the sinks to the right. Looking into it, I was struck by a sudden, jarring realization.
"...What on earth was I doing?"
Reflected in the mirror was a male student with somewhat long, styled brown hair. It was obviously me, but that wasn't what surprised me.
I had a plain face that didn't really suit the hairstyle I’d put together for my high school debut. It wasn't like I was particularly tall, either. And if I were to talk about my stats, I wasn't good at sports, nor was I particularly smart.
I was an unremarkable guy... I didn't want to be that self-deprecating, but was I always this ordinary? Was there really anyone else this devoid of noteworthy traits?
The question I’d held since noon—why had I felt like my passion had cooled even though my feelings for Aika hadn't changed?—finally had an answer. Wasn't it exactly this realization?
That’s right. Natsukawa Aika is a flower on a high peak.
There are people who harbor romantic feelings for beautiful or talented celebrities. But that doesn't mean there are reckless fools who seriously try to date them. That was it. To the current me, "Natsukawa Aika" was a superstar idol, and I was just a fan who happened to be in love with her.
What do you do if your favorite idol is filming for TV right in front of you? The answer is to keep a respectful distance so as not to be a nuisance and cheer for her from afar. That is the paragon of a true fan.
So that’s why I felt like I’d suddenly come to my senses. Thinking about it calmly, it made perfect sense. There was no way a beautiful, hardworking, and talented girl like Aika would ever be a match for someone like me. Why hadn't I noticed until now...!
"Asking her to go out with me... are you serious?"
I was the only one in the restroom. I muttered the words to my reflection. Blood rushed to my face. From an outside perspective, I must have looked like a total clown, constantly attempting a reckless, impossible challenge.
Thinking even more rationally about it—being relentlessly pursued by a guy you don't even like must be incredibly creepy for a girl.
"...I'm an idiot..."
The color drained from my face in the mirror. A long period of time spent in a sparkling, fluffy daze. Blinded, I had been robbed of so much time. By none other than myself. On top of that, I hadn't even considered the convenience of the person I loved. This... this was actually pretty bad, wasn't it?
"..."
I started breaking out in a cold sweat. I opened the restroom window wide to catch the chilly breeze and wiped my face with a hand towel I happened to have on me.
Strangely enough, until that sweat stopped, no one else entered the restroom.
Why are live-action adaptations always such a crime? There was a manga series I’d stopped reading back in middle school because of my exams, but I never thought I’d find out what happened next through a live-action version. Above all, I was constantly struck by that "this isn't it" feeling. It was definitely a sin.
I’ll have to overwrite these memories with the original work...
As I was thinking that, the intercom rang. Inconveniently, I happened to be the only one home. I headed to the front door and opened it, only to find an unexpected person standing there.
"Aika...? Why are you here? What’s wrong at this hour?"
It was 7:30 PM. At such an hour, our resident idol, Natsukawa Aika, had arrived. Her reddish-brown hair was somewhat damp, as if she’d just gotten out of the bath, and the allure radiating from the fair skin of her arms made my heart skip a beat. Well, my heart was always racing around her anyway.
"S-sorry for coming so late..."
"It’s fine, but why..."
"I... I had someone who stayed late for club activities tell me where your house was!"
A beautiful girl like this walking alone at night was way too dangerous. I felt like I might scold her intensely out of concern. Or rather, at this point, I felt like I might be the one in danger of doing something reckless.
In the first place, why did she look up my address? I could easily imagine what Aika thought of me. At the very least, she shouldn't have any desire to get close to me of her own volition. Did she actually have a high opinion of me...? No, I’d never think that. If I were Aika, I’d use any means necessary to push a guy like me away.
"D-did you want to talk about something?"
"Y-yes, that’s right."
"..."
...I see.
I thought the moment had finally come. She was either going to tell me in a dead-serious tone to stop following her because it was creepy, or she was going to tell me she’d found someone she truly liked and didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Aika had come all this way specifically to say one of those things. Otherwise, there’d be no point in going to all this trouble.
"Want to... come in? Everyone else happens to be out."
"N-nobody’s home!?"
"I should add that I don't know when they’ll be back."
It’d be bad if my family came home while I had her inside. Not that I had the intention or the guts to do anything inappropriate in this day and age.
I had a hesitant Aika sit at the dining table. She’d probably feel safer in a spot that was part of the living room area.
It wasn't even early summer yet. If you walk around on a night like this right after a bath, you’ll catch a chill. I understood the desire to prioritize fashion over the cold, but wasn't her dress a bit too thin? I mean, why was she wearing such a suggestive outfit to meet a guy she was supposed to hate...?
I placed a cup of instant onion soup (my mom’s favorite) in front of Aika and offered her the blanket that was draped over a chair. Uncharacteristically, she followed along meekly and wrapped herself in it. Managing an idol’s health was the top priority.
Just as the awkwardness was becoming palpable, Aika broke the silence.
"Hey, you... did something happen?"
"If you mean did something happen... was I acting weird?"
"Weird... no, you weren't acting strange! But that’s exactly why it is weird!"
"C-calm down."
I sort of understood what she meant. To Aika, acting bizarrely was my default state. So she really had noticed that I’d been acting "off" today. Does that mean she came here to grill me about it? To tell me to confess right here and now that I’d had that strange realization in the restroom? That was way too embarrassing; there was no way I could say it.
"Y-you usually don't budge no matter how much I brush you off—if anything, you keep coming at me, like you're some kind of masochist... I mean, you're just plain creepy, you know?"
"So you want me to agree with that."
"S-so what was with that submissiveness today! What are you planning this time? Answer me!"
"..."
The usual me was a persistent, clingy guy. Looking back on it myself, I had to agree. Since I’d been trying every trick in the book to get close to her, it was only natural for her to think I was up to something. But that said, telling her the truth and making her hate me even more would be enough to make me want to curl up and die. So what should I do?
"Umm... look, Aika."
"W-what is it?"
In that case... instead of explaining it, I should just prove it through results. I’d show her that my strange awakening today, and the line I’ve finally drawn in our relationship, isn't a mistake.
For that sake—
"I love you. Please go out with me."
I was no longer afraid of our relationship changing.