First period ended without a hitch. While Modern Japanese makes sense, I honestly don’t see the point in studying the classical stuff. Why do we need to learn a language that’s been dead for ages? We’re never going to use it in our daily lives. If they want to teach us life lessons through old Chinese parables, why not just give us the modern translations to begin with? I can’t be the only one who thinks so.
"Sigh..."
I hadn't even had a moment to catch my breath this morning. When I stepped out into the hallway to head for the restroom, Aika happened to be walking just ahead of me. Our eyes met, and her expression immediately shifted to one of surprise.
"Hey! Stop following me!"
"Ah, no, I just need to use the bathroom."
"Eh... what?"
Aika froze on the spot. An awkward silence hung between us. Realizing she had jumped to a conclusion, her face flushed crimson. She glared at me with a mix of resentment and embarrassment before shouting.
"You should have said that first!"
"O-Oh... okay..."
Given my usual track record, I suppose she had a point. Still, I feel like most guys would be a little weirded out if I walked up and announced, "I'm going to the bathroom now," wouldn't they?
Picturing how surreal that interaction would have been, I walked past Aika, who remained rooted to the floor. As I reached the entrance of the restroom, Yamazaki and a few other guys from my class practically dragged me inside.
"Hey, hey, did something happen between you two?"
"Between us... you mean me and Aika?"
"Yeah. We figured you'd had a fight or something."
Yamazaki asked with a smirk. He had that look in his eyes—the look of someone who’d found a fresh piece of gossip to chew on. Honestly, I was the one who wanted to ask.
"A fight? It’s the same as always, isn’t it?"
"Hmm, well... I guess so, when you put it that way."
My calm response seemed to satisfy him, but another guy wasn't convinced. He crowded me, his expression intense and searching, as if he were conducting an interrogation. His breath was... impressively heavy.
"No, usually it's just Natsukawa-san who's mad, right? You usually pester her without a care in the world, Sajou."
"Ah, I guess so, when you put it that way."
"Don't just say 'I guess so'..."
He was right. Even when Aika reacted with total disgust, I never thought, "Okay, I'll give up." If anything, when she got mad at me, I think I was just happy to have her emotions directed straight at me. That was how much I loved Aika—wait... Loved?
"Hey, do I look like I'm in love with Aika?"
"Huh? What are you talking about? You're head over heels for her."
"Right. I love her too. I want to spread the word."
"Whoa, whoa, bragging about your feelings at a time like this—wait, spread the word!?"
Just as my friend said, I loved Natsukawa Aika. I loved her dignified aura, her fiery personality, and even the way she’d occasionally fuss over others. That was exactly why I had been desperately trying to sell myself to her, hoping she’d finally look my way.
However, I couldn't shake this strange sensation. There was no doubt that I still liked her, but the urge to rush to her side had vanished. It was different from before. Even though I wanted to be near her, the inferno that had been burning in my chest felt like it had been snuffed out.
But wait, if that were the case, wouldn't my feelings for her have disappeared entirely? What is this...?
"Doesn't seem like they had a fight after all."
"Yeah. Seems that way."
"Yeah, even I think so."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
The conversation ended on a weird note, and we went our separate ways. The break was almost over, so we hurriedly finished our business and headed back to the classroom. The look Aika gave me—as if she were staring at a total freak—really stuck with me. Keep the stares coming.
Noon. It felt like ten hours had passed since the morning. To be honest, my stomach had been growling since fourth period. My gut was more than ready for digestion. Now that that was settled, I’d immediately go to Aika—...Aika?
What was I going to do with Aika? My bento was already hanging from the side of my desk in its little pouch. There was no actual need to do anything involving Aika. What did I usually do when the lunch bell rang?
"All right, let's eat, Aika!"
Ah.
That’s right, I usually invited her to lunch. I instinctively looked to my left and happened to lock eyes with her. She looked like she was having a facial cramp. Should I invite her like I always do...?
I hesitated, trying to find my voice, but for some reason, the words wouldn't come. Instead, a wave of inexplicable embarrassment washed over me, making my head spin.
"W-What is it? If you have something to say, just say it."
"Ah, no... how do I put it..."
Wait, why was this so awkward? Usually, wouldn't I have just slid my desk over with a goofy grin and used the sight of her face as a side dish for my meal? This wasn't just embarrassing; it was a disaster. I was being seriously creepy.
"...No, it's nothing."
"...H-Huh?"
This was bad. Something was definitely wrong with me today. Everything I saw felt slightly off. To be honest, I was panicking. I didn't think I had the mental capacity to deal with Aika right now. This was a first.
I had to get out of here. From an outsider's perspective, I probably looked incredibly suspicious, so it was better to avoid public places. I needed to find somewhere quiet where no one would see me.
"Eh...!? H-Hey! Wait!"
I grabbed my bento. I could pick up a drink from a vending machine on the way. I thought I heard Aika say something, but I couldn't focus on her right now. Which was ironic, considering I was usually the one begging for her attention. Seriously, I'm such an idiot...
My thoughts were a swirling mess, even though my vision was perfectly clear. In my confusion, I tried to buy green tea but ended up with a cola in my hand. Whatever, I didn't care at this point.
Wandering aimlessly, I found a bench along the covered walkway surrounding the courtyard. It didn't look like anyone was using it, so it would do.
"..."
I sat down with a heavy thud. Within thirty seconds, I found myself opening my bento on my lap. My appetite was still there. I stabbed a piece of tamagoyaki—which looked suspiciously perfect, like it was store-bought—and shoved it into my mouth.
"...So good."
The sweetness soaked in. It was an exquisite piece of egg. Probably one of those five-packs you get for two hundred yen. The taste was so gentle I felt like my soul was being purified. What was "Mom's home cooking" again...?
As I ate, my head began to clear, matching the clarity of my vision. My mind had felt like a broken television screen until a moment ago, but now the static was gone. Maybe I was just malnourished.
"That was a close one."
Now that I was thinking straight, I realized I probably should have gone to the nurse's office instead of the courtyard. My malfunctioning brain must have impaired my judgment. Still, I felt better now, so all’s well that ends well. It was probably for the best that I didn't make a scene by panicking.
Fifth period... Modern Japanese. The hour of brain-death had arrived. Honestly, if you spend enough time reading web novels, you don't really need to train your brain in this class. I didn't want to waste any more mental energy, so I decided I was just going to zone out.
As I returned to the classroom, Aika, who sat next to me, turned her whole body in my direction—likely noticing the sound of my chair pulling out. She glanced at my chest before looking me in the eye. Was she checking my nameplate? What was with that identification process? It was like she was unlocking a double security gate.
"Did I make you worry, by any chance?"
"H-Huh!? Why on earth would I worry about someone like you!?"
"I-I see."
Her vehement denial left me with nothing but a nod. Strange. I didn't think I was the type of guy to be hurt by something like that... but I kind of felt like crying. At the very least, I should stay quiet until her mood improved. Aika-san, should I massage your shoulders—calm down, Wataru. Calm down. Don't let your desires win.
"Y-You say 'I see,' but you..."
"Eh, what?"
"It's nothing, you idiot!"
Okay. That was fine. Simply being insulted was basically a reward for me.
Still, it was rare for Aika to hesitate like that. Usually, her rejections were sharp and immediate. Well, it’s not like I was asking for more of that.
After that, Aika and I didn't exchange another word. In a way, it was a relief; talking to people—Aika included—was exhausting right now. By spending the rest of the period zoning out, I finally felt like I was starting to get back into the swing of things.