[Serina Mikage POV]
Even on the third day of the new term, traces of summer vacation still lingered in the classroom air.
Reunited after so long, the students had endless things to talk about, trading memories of trips and fireworks displays before homeroom had even started. Outside, the cicadas buzzed relentlessly, and the breeze drifting through the wide-open windows carried hardly a whisper of autumn.
Sitting at my desk, I gazed out at the blue sky stretching beyond the window frame.
A slight discomfort remained in my right ankle. Walking normally was fine, but rushing up stairs or turning abruptly still sent a dull ache shooting through the joint.
The doctor had told me to avoid strenuous exercise for a while.
Even so, compared to what could have happened that day, my injury was on the milder side.
Whenever I thought of his right shoulder—the one that had carried me—I couldn't bring myself to complain about a little pain like this.
"Mikage."
A boy's voice called out nearby, and my body tensed reflexively.
A male classmate stood before my desk holding a stack of printouts. They seemed to be handouts from the days I'd missed, probably passed along by the teacher.
"Here's the stuff from when you were absent. From the teacher."
"Put them there."
Before he could reach out, I pointed to the edge of the desk.
If I took them directly, our fingertips might brush. Just imagining that for a fraction of a second sent a cold chill down my spine.
Sensing my rejection, his brow furrowed slightly, but he set the papers down as told.
"It's not like I was gonna touch you."
"I know."
"Then do you really have to avoid me like that?"
His tone held more exasperation than accusation.
It wasn't that he'd done anything wrong. He had only brought the printouts over without trying to get closer than necessary.
I understood that logically.
Yet my body pulled away before my mind could catch up. The mere thought of a guy's hand touching me made my skin crawl, knotting my shoulders with tension.
"Is your leg okay now?"
At his question, something stirred deep within my chest.
—It's okay.
The voice from my morning dream echoed back with vivid clarity.
It sounded nothing like the boy in front of me. The voice from that day had been choked with smoke, far deeper and raspier. Yet it had remained calm against the roar of flames and blaring alarms, reaching deep into my chest with a strange, lasting warmth.
"Mikage?"
"...I'm fine. It's almost completely healed."
"Good to hear."
The boy walked away.
Watching his retreating back, I uncurled my stiff fingers beneath the desk.
In truth, he hadn't touched me at all. Even so, the thought that our fingers might have brushed had I taken the papers by hand left a lingering chill across my back that refused to fade.
It had been the same at first with him, too.
A guy's hand was still a guy's hand.
So why was his warmth the only thing I couldn't bear to forget?
When he first grabbed my shoulder, I had pushed him away. The thought of an unfamiliar guy touching me terrified me, and even when he said he was there to save me, I couldn't bring myself to believe him.
Yet he had let go.
He told me he wouldn't touch me without permission if I didn't want him to, and he waited until I grabbed his sleeve on my own.
In the end, I was the one who wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I leaned into his back, pressed my cheek against the nape of his neck, and wished never to let go.
In the dream I had that morning, that warmth felt even more vivid than reality.
Even after waking, the heat from his neck seemed to linger against my cheek. Just remembering it brought a calming peace to my chest, while simultaneously sending an inexplicable heat spreading all the way to my ears.
If I could see him again, next time—somewhere where nothing was burning—I wanted to touch that skin.
The moment the thought crossed my mind, I clenched my fists under the desk.
What was I thinking?
I didn't even know his name.
I couldn't remember his face. His voice had likely been distorted by the smoke, and I didn't know what school he went to, or if he was even my age.
The only thing I knew was that he hadn't abandoned me.
That single truth outweighed everything else.
"Serina, haven't your ears been red for a while now?"
A voice piped up beside me, making my shoulders jump.
Before I realized it, Rio Kuze had planted both hands on my desk and was peering into my face. Her chest-length chestnut hair flowed smoothly over her shoulders.
"They're not red."
"They totally are. Are you hot?"
"Yes."
"Even though you're by the window?"
"The breeze is warm."
"Hmm."
She looked entirely unconvinced.
Behind Rio stood Kotoha Komiyama and Miu Sahara. Kotoha, her black hair cut neatly to her jawline, furrowed her brows as she looked between Rio and me.
"Do you have a fever?"
"I don't, I swear."
"If you say so, but don't push yourself."
"I know."
"You've been spacing out all morning," Miu added flatly, her shortly trimmed dark brown hair swaying slightly.
"I haven't."
"That guy had to call your name three times before you even noticed him."
"I just didn't hear him."
"You were smiling while looking out the window."
"I was not!"
My voice rose before I could stop it.
Rio's eyes narrowed with amusement.
"What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
"Can your ears get that red while thinking about nothing?"
"I said I'm just hot."
"Fine, I'll let it slide for now."
Though Rio dropped the subject, a knowing smirk remained on her lips.
◇◇◇
When lunchtime arrived, the four of us headed out to the courtyard.
The benches shaded by the school building offered relief from the sun, making it noticeably cooler than the classroom. A few other groups had brought their lunches outside as well, but none were close enough to overhear us.
"So, did you find out anything?" Rio asked before she'd even sat down.
"Still nothing."
"Not even from the hospital?"
"They said they couldn't tell me because of privacy policies. Mom asked the police too, but they said they couldn't give out his name or where he was taken."
"His life isn't in danger, right?" Kotoha asked, taking a seat beside me.
"I know that much. Apparently he was unconscious when they brought him out, but he's receiving treatment."
"Then for now, that's enough," Kotoha replied in a steady voice.
On the day of the fire, when they realized I was still trapped inside, Kotoha had been the first to try to run back in.
Even when security stopped her, she had reportedly begged them in tears to let her go. I hadn't seen it myself. Even after Rio told me at the hospital, I had trouble picturing the usually composed Kotoha doing something like that.
"Come to think of it, about how old was he?" Rio asked, leaning in.
"...I don't know. The way he talked sounded close to our age, but his voice was raspy the whole time, and I barely got a look at his face."
"Probably. Going by how he spoke, I don't think he was much older."
"Then there's a chance he's a guy our age."
"I think so. But I don't remember enough to say for sure."
Miu, the quietest of our group, looked at each of our faces in turn with her characteristically drowsy eyes.
She rarely led conversations, but she never tuned anyone out, either. She would listen quietly and only speak up when she caught something the rest of us had missed. Miu had always been like that.
"There's also the possibility he told them not to say anything because he doesn't want to see you," Miu murmured, punching a straw into her drink carton.
"Miu, do you really have to say that?" Rio grimaced openly.
"Just considering possibilities."
"Saying that now is just gonna make Serina worry."
"She's already worrying."
Miu glanced at me.
I opened my mouth to deny it, then fell silent.
When I learned they wouldn't disclose his identity even through the police, the exact same thought had crossed my mind.
What if he simply didn't want anything more to do with me?
In the middle of the fire, he had promised to tell me his name once we made it out. He'd even promised to get crepes with me, but I didn't know how much weight words exchanged in a life-or-death situation really carried.
To him, they might have been nothing more than empty reassurance to calm a terrified girl.
The thought sent a cold weight sinking into my chest.
"However," Miu continued, "there's no reason to assume he doesn't want to meet, either. If his shoulder was burned and he inhaled a lot of smoke, he could easily still be hospitalized."
"Then say that part first!"
"Rio cut me off."
"Normally you lead with the good news!"
"I gave both so we wouldn't focus only on the bad."
Listening to their familiar bickering, the knot in my chest eased a fraction.
"How much do you remember, Serina?" Kotoha asked.
I looked down at the hands resting in my lap. "I told you before, didn't I?"
"Only the broad strokes. I don't mean to pry, but if we're going to search for him, we need to organize our clues."
"You're going to help me look?"
I looked up, surprised, and Rio frowned at me.
"Of course we are! He risked his life to get you out, Serina. If we don't meet him and thank him properly, none of us will feel right."
"Rio..."
"If I hadn't let go of your hand that day, you wouldn't have been left alone in the first place." Her confident voice wavered slightly at the end. "I know the crowd pushed us apart and it couldn't be helped. But before I knew it, you were gone... and I couldn't even go back in for you. All we could do was wait outside, leaving everything to a total stranger."
"It wasn't your fault, Rio."
"I know. And I know you're not mad, but that doesn't change the fact that we want to find our hero." Rio looked up, shaking off the gloom. "So we're definitely going to find him. And we'll bow our heads right beside you."
"The same goes for me," Kotoha added quietly. "If he hadn't gone back, you wouldn't be here, Serina. If there's anything we can do, we want to help."
Miu set her carton down and gave a small nod. "I'll help too. I think I can be more useful this time than just making phone calls."
During the fire, Miu had called my phone over and over.
Apparently, he had been the one to pick up the cracked device from the floor of the hallway. It had been recovered alongside his belongings and returned to me through the police.
All three of them believed they hadn't been able to do anything.
To me, though, it was entirely different.
"He told me you were all waiting outside."
Their eyes turned toward me.
"Hearing that my friends were safe was the first thing that let me breathe again. Because you were looking for me, I think that's how he realized I was missing."
The one who pulled me out was a boy whose name I didn't even know.
Yet what guided him to me was the fact that the three of them had never stopped calling my name.
"So please don't say you couldn't do anything."
"...Understood," Kotoha said, nodding first.
Rio wiped the corner of her eye, then leaned in with a deliberately bright smile. "Alright, info on our hero. Tell us everything you can remember."
"I barely know what he looks like. I caught a glimpse when he found me, but everything was blurred from smoke and tears."
"Hair color?"
"Probably black. I don't think it was long."
"Height?"
"Taller than me. He carried me on his back, so I can't say for sure."
"What about his voice?"
I hesitated. "On the deeper side, I think. But he kept coughing, and after a while he got really raspy. It might not be his real voice."
"The easiest tell will be the burn, then." Rio glanced toward her own right shoulder and down her arm, tracing the placement.
"From his right shoulder down to his arm. When the ceiling collapsed, he shielded me and..."
The moment I said it, the scent of smoke seemed to flare in my nostrils again.
The blackened fabric of his shirt.
His voice insisting he was fine, even though he'd clearly been burned.
The right arm supporting me had been trembling, his fingers losing strength. Yet he had never let me down once, promising to hold on until the very end.
"Serina." Kotoha called my name, pulling me back to the courtyard. "You don't have to force yourself to remember."
"...Right."
I answered instinctively, but his voice—repeating "It's okay" despite his own agony—echoed in my mind.
He had hidden his pain, too.
"A burn like that might leave a scar, right?" Rio murmured, and my chest seized with guilt.
"Because of me..."
"No," Kotoha cut in firmly. "You didn't burn him, Serina. Don't confuse the two."
"But if he hadn't shielded me—"
"If you told him that to his face, he'd probably deny it," Miu said quietly. "Didn't he say the same back then?"
I couldn't answer.
—That's not true.
He had denied it without a second thought.
He told me he had gone back on his own, so there was no need for me to apologize. Between ragged breaths, he had made it clear he was only there to bring me back to my friends.
"...He did."
"Then if you say the same thing when you meet him, he'll just deny it again."
"Miu is right," Kotoha agreed. "Rather than just apologizing over and over, telling him how happy you are that he saved you will probably bring him more comfort, don't you think?"
"Happy, huh..."
Being alive.
Talking with my friends again.
Returning to school like this.
Of course I was happy about those things.
Yet I didn't know if what I felt toward him could be summed up by a word as simple as 'gratitude.'
"Is there anything else you remember?" Rio asked. "Like a favorite food, or things you talked about? Even small details could be clues."
"Crepes."
"Huh?"
"When I mentioned a new shop opened near the station, he promised we'd go together."
Rio's eyes went wide. "Wait. Just the two of you?"
"Who else would be there?"
"No, I mean, yeah, but still! You promised to go eat crepes alone with a guy who rescued you from a fire?!"
"We were just talking so I wouldn't pass out. He asked what my favorite food was, and..."
"Who asked who out?"
"I asked him, but..."
All three of them went dead silent.
"What?"
"You asked him out yourself, Serina?"
"I just said so, didn't I?"
"Just the two of you?"
"Nobody else was there when we made the promise."
"That's not what I mean." Rio pressed a hand to her forehead, looking down as if trying to process it. "Serina, do you realize what you're saying?"
"We just promised to get crepes."
"You hate even sitting next to guys, and you asked one to hang out alone?!"
Hearing it put so bluntly made heat rush to my ears.
Facing each other in a place free of smoke and fire, eating crepes together.
Seeing the face hidden by the haze, hearing his real voice, learning his name.
Just imagining it sent my heart racing, a wave of warmth spreading from within.
"My life was on the line. We were just talking about what to do after getting out so I wouldn't fall asleep."
"But you don't regret asking, do you?"
"No."
"Do you want to go with him, just the two of you?"
"It's a promise."
"What if it wasn't?"
"...What kind of question is that?"
I couldn't answer right away.
Even without a promise, I still wanted to see him.
I didn't want to stop at just thanking him; I wanted to know him. How he smiled, what he did every day, why he had been so gentle with me—the questions welled up endlessly.
"Serina, your ears are red again," Miu pointed out, and I reflexively clamped my hands over them.
"I'm just hot."
"We're in the shade."
"It's still summer, so it's hot!"
"You said that this morning, too." An uncontrollable grin spread across Rio's face. "This is your first crush, isn't it?"
"It is not!"
I blurted the denial before thinking.
A few students nearby turned to look, and mortified, I lowered my voice.
"He's special to me because he saved my life. He's my lifesaver, so of course he's different from other guys."
"Serina, have you ever liked anyone before?"
"No, but..."
"Then how do you know this isn't that?"
"That's..."
I froze, caught off guard.
"Rio's putting it crudely, but..." Kotoha began gently.
"What about that was crude?!"
"All of it. But I agree that what Serina feels for him goes beyond gratitude."
"Not you too, Kotoha!"
"Your ears have been bright red the whole time you've been imagining seeing him."
Having Kotoha point it out made me press my hands harder against my ears.
"I think it's probably a first crush," Miu stated plainly, sipping from her carton.
"Even you, Miu?!"
"This is the first time you've ever talked about a guy for this long. You don't even remember his face, but you remember everything about when he touched you."
"That was because we were in a fire—"
"Did you dream about him, too?"
The question stole the breath from my lungs. "How do you know that?"
"You've been out of it all morning. It was pretty obvious from what you said."
"...The dream doesn't mean anything."
"What kind of dream was it?" Rio leaned in eagerly.
"Too close!"
Even with a girl, I didn't want anyone in my face right now. When I pulled back, Rio quickly retreated.
"Sorry. But what was it about?"
"I just remembered what happened."
"And that made your ears turn red?"
"Stop teasing me!"
Rio covered her mouth with both hands, though she couldn't hide her grin.
Kotoha gave Rio an exasperated look before turning back to me. "I don't think you need to label it as love right this second. After going through something life-threatening, it's natural that gratitude and relief would blur together."
"See? It really is just gratitude."
"Let me finish," Kotoha said firmly. "If you want to touch him again, Serina, that has nothing to do with feeling indebted. Don't hide what you actually want behind mere gratitude."
I cast my eyes down to my lap. "Was I weird back then, I wonder?"
"What do you mean?"
"Even though he was a strange guy carrying me, I didn't hate it."
The three of them went quiet.
Now that I'd started, I couldn't stop.
"At first, I hated it. Just having him touch my shoulder terrified me, and I wanted him to stay away. But he didn't force me. When I told him not to touch me, he really waited... and he kept promising he wouldn't leave me behind."
I remembered his hands held out where I could see them.
Stained with soot, marked with small cuts.
When I placed my fingers over them, I finally felt like I wasn't alone anymore.
"After a while, I became more terrified of being separated. I put my arms around his shoulders myself, and I even pressed my cheek against his neck. When the firefighters came, I didn't want to let go of him."
Even now, I remembered the warmth of his back.
It was a memory of touching a guy, yet it held none of the usual disgust. If anything, when my dream ended this morning, I had wished to go back to that warmth.
"He was the only one I didn't hate touching."
Saying it aloud sent heat rushing from my ears into my cheeks.
"In fact... if I see him again, I want to be the one to touch his skin next time."
No one spoke right away.
Rio clamped both hands over her mouth, visibly struggling to obey Kotoha's silent instruction not to cause a scene.
Miu tilted her head slightly. "And that's still not love?"
"I don't know."
"Is there any other guy you want to touch?"
"Of course not."
"Then he's the first."
"Technically, yes, but..."
"The first guy who became special to you."
Miu took another sip from her carton.
I wanted to argue, but no words came.
The first.
Special.
Just hearing those two words side by side sparked a ticklish warmth deep in my chest.
"Most people call that a first love," Rio blurted, unable to contain herself any longer.
"It's not decided yet!"
"Sure, sure. Not in your head, anyway."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean the three of us already know."
Rio glanced at Kotoha and Miu.
Miu nodded without hesitation.
Kotoha considered it for a moment, then gave a fond smile. "I don't mean to rush you, but it looks that way to me, too."
"You're all crazy."
"Is there a chance you're just the last one to realize it?"
"None."
"You shot that down fast." Rio laughed warmly.
Even so, I knew they weren't mocking my feelings. In their own ways, all three were looking out for me, careful not to hurt these new, unfamiliar emotions.
Still, hearing it called love didn't make it feel real.
Could someone really fall for a person whose face they didn't even know?
Wasn't I just confusing gratitude for being saved—and the relief I felt during the most terrifying moment of my life—with love?
Yet the desire to see him again was undeniable.
"Whether it's love or not, you can figure that out after you meet him," Miu said evenly. "There's no point in coming to a conclusion when you can't even check your answer."
"Miu, that's completely logical, but could you sound a little more romantic?"
"Nothing starts until you meet."
"Well, that got blunt fast."
"I matched my tone to Rio."
Watching the two of them banter as usual brought a faint smile to my lips.
Nothing starts until we meet.
I didn't know his name or his real voice.
I didn't even know the true nature of this restless heat stirring within me.
Which meant my only choice was to find him first.