My neck felt light.
My hand kept drifting to where my pendant used to be. Every time I touched my bare skin, the coldness brought that moment rushing back.
Rein had unfastened the pendant from my neck before I could even think to stop him. His eyes had been frighteningly steady—even though he looked on the verge of tears, he was trying to smile.
From my hiding spot beneath the carriage seat, I heard the door open. A rush of cold wind blew in, and just like that, Rein’s presence was gone.
I could do nothing. I just trembled there in the dark.
The carriage swayed. I cried throughout the entire journey home from the County of Werl. The tears wouldn't stop. My eyes were swollen, my nose was stuffed, and I knew I looked a mess. The guard sitting beside me said something, but I couldn't hear him.
Even after returning home, that day never ended for me.
Whenever I closed my eyes, Rein’s face would appear. That smile. I was the one who had forced that expression onto him. If I hadn't insisted on going out while he was still dressed as a girl... my selfishness was the beginning of everything.
I became afraid of the night. If I slept, I saw it in my dreams. Even when I was awake, I couldn't stop thinking about it. No matter where I was, that moment chased me.
—But.
As the days passed, something else began to settle in the pit of my stomach.
That ambush had been a trap set to kidnap me. Seltheim had hired mercenaries to target me. They had killed five of my guards. They had even killed the gatekeeper. It had been planned from the very start.
Rein hadn't just been caught up in it. He had been taken in my place.
The people who were after me had stolen my Rein.
That thought took on a heat different from guilt, a dark ember smoldering deep in my gut.
◇ ◇ ◇
One month later, the pendant bearing our family crest was returned.
"It was found in a forest near the border. It seems it was discarded by a beast path. The chain was broken," Father said.
I took it from him with trembling fingers.
The broken chain. The House Laufen crest that used to rest coldly against my chest. This was the pendant Rein had taken from my neck and placed around his own that day.
I didn't say a word. I just gripped the cold metal in my shaking hand until it rattled.
◇ ◇ ◇
About three months after the incident.
Father called me into his study. He seemed different than usual. He looked at my face and hesitated for a long time before speaking.
"We've tracked Rein's movements."
My heart leaped into my throat.
"He was sold to an illegal slave trader in Seltheim. We've identified the buyer as well."
"Who?"
The silence before Father answered felt agonizingly long.
"—A woman known as the Blood Countess. Countess Stade of Seltheim. She is notorious for... abusing her slaves. Katia, you must not speak of this to anyone. It is for Rein’s future. You understand, don't you?"
It took a moment for the words to sink in. Slave. Abuse. Rein. My kind, cute Rein, who was always just a little bit cheeky with me.
Kidnapped in my place. Handed over to a monster like that in my place.
I felt something snap inside my head.
My vision turned red. I didn't understand my own emotions anymore. I only knew that whatever was boiling deep in my chest would never grow cold again.
Seltheim. The country that stole my Rein and plunged him into hell.
I'll never forgive them. Never.
"Teach me how to fight."
The next day, I marched into Father's office.
Father looked down at me, his brow furrowed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm going to the battlefield. I'll kill every last Seltheim soldier—"
"Don't be ridiculous. You're only seven. I've never heard of a Margrave's daughter taking to the field."
"Age and status don't matter."
"They matter a great deal."
Father's voice dropped. He glared at me. But I didn't flinch.
"...Rein was kidnapped in my place. He protected me because I was weak. I'll never let myself be the one who needs protecting again."
Father went silent. He watched my face for a long time. I think he realized that for the first time since the incident, his daughter—who had been a shell of herself—was actually asking for something.
After a long silence, he let out a heavy sigh.
"—Defeat one of the mid-rank knights. If you can do that, I'll let you go to war."
I knew he wasn't being serious. He thought there was no way a seven-year-old child could defeat a knight. He likely only gave me the condition and an instructor because he thought it might help clear my head.
I didn't argue. I just nodded and left the room.
◇ ◇ ◇
Two years have passed since then.
Through joint intelligence with House Werl, we knew Rein was still alive. He was inside the Blood Countess’s castle. He was alive, and he was being tortured every single day.
But we couldn't rescue him. There was no way to storm the castle of an enemy noble. As for a diplomatic solution, we were already constantly skirmishing with them. I knew exactly where he was, yet I couldn't reach him.
That frustration drove me to the training grounds every day.
My body grew at a normal rate for my age. Since I was a noble daughter, I wasn't allowed to train in a way that left permanent scars. Every day, blood blisters formed on my hands, only to be healed by low-grade potions. To an outsider, it probably didn't look like I practiced martial arts at all.
I think I've forgotten how to smile. For some reason, the people I sparred with in training began to avoid me. I didn't know why.
Whenever I realized it, I was gripping the pendant at my chest. During training, during meals, before I went to sleep. My left hand would reflexively find the crest identification on its repaired chain and squeeze. It had become a habit.
I kept my hair tied with a faded red ribbon. The edges were frayed, and the color had dulled to a muddy brown. I could have replaced it whenever I wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
While Rein was in hell, I was living here in comfort. That fact made the dark flame in my chest burn even deeper.
A knight stood in the training ground, clad in leather armor. He was a mid-rank member of our order. Father was watching.
The knight readied his sword. I lifted a weapon twice my height and simply swung. I poured everything into it, combining Physical Enhancement with Earth Magic.
With a dull thud, the knight was sent flying sideways. Though he was far more skilled than I was, he was blown back along with his parrying blade, tumbling across the dirt.
He didn't get back up.
In the silence of the training ground, Father approached me.
"...Katia. I know what I said, but you're still too young. Just a little longer—"
I looked up at Father. I didn't say anything. I just stared.
Father’s words died in his throat. His large frame actually recoiled a fraction of an inch.
"............Fine. Do as you wish."
His voice sounded strained.
I left the training ground.
I looked up at the sky. Gray clouds hung low across the horizon, the same color they had been that day.
Something inside me had broken long ago.
Give Rein back. Give me back my Rein.
If you won't give him back, I'll kill your soldiers. As long as they are within my reach, I won't let a single one of them live.
—I'll slaughter every last one of them...
Deep in my chest, the dark flame roared.