"You should just go out with her."
I had hoped Sasaki-kun would accept Saito-san, yet I also understood his hesitation—the idea that you shouldn't date someone without holding special feelings for them. It was undeniably a complex issue. And yet, Wataru had tossed out that answer with total nonchalance.
"..."
"..."
I bit my lip. Wataru’s words had silenced even us, though we weren't even part of the conversation. I wasn't entirely sure why. Was it disappointment that he wasn't taking Sasaki-kun’s concerns seriously, or was it the nature of the answer itself? Both Kei and I surely wanted those two to be together, yet an unsettling feeling remained in my chest like a lingering stain.
『Wh—! You...! Were you even listening?! I don't see Saito-san as a romantic interest, okay?!』
『That’s perfectly normal.』
『...Eh?』
"Eh..."
Wataru replied instantly. What I perceived as a difficult dilemma was, to him, a simple matter of course.
His blunt assertion made me realize something. Wataru had a firm, established worldview regarding romance. When held up against that logic, Sasaki-kun’s dilemma was something with a very easy solution. That was why Wataru didn't need to give it any deep thought.
As my initial unease faded, curiosity about Wataru’s perspective took its place. This was a world I didn't know. A world I should have been able to understand, but had passed by without ever noticing. I felt that if I let this moment slip, I would never truly understand him again.
『Let’s talk common sense. How many couples in this world do you think start out with mutual love?』
『Mu-mutual... love?』
『Yeah, mutual love.』
Mutual love. The pinnacle of romance. The ultimate goal one seeks when they begin to care for someone. I had only ever looked upon that state with vague longing; I had never actually thought about the logistics of it.
『If I had to guess... not very many?』
『Right?』
It felt like scales were falling from my eyes. Come to think of it, I might have simply taken it for granted that couples had to have mutual feelings from the start. I realized then that if that were the only "correct" way, the bar for starting a relationship would be impossibly high.
『A confession is, in essence, an "entreaty." You’re bowing your head and asking someone to go out with you. You’re asking them to become a couple. You do that because you’re aware that, as of that moment, your love is one-sided, right?』
『B-but... mutual love exists too, doesn't it?』
『At that stage, all you have is the hope that it’s mutual. If you already knew the feelings were mutual, you wouldn't need courage to confess; you’d just say something like "wanna start dating?" and be done with it. That’s just a procedure to finalize the relationship. It’s only natural that you only see Saito-san as a normal girl right now.』
『...Gh...』
Sasaki-kun’s mouth worked soundlessly. He clearly wanted to fire back, but he couldn't find the words.
He didn't look convinced by Wataru’s answer. After his eyes darted around for a few moments, he finally managed a response.
『So, just because that’s the "norm"... you’re telling me I should just date her? Are you saying that Saito-san’s confession—the one she gathered all her courage for, the one where she was literally trembling—is just common sense? That I should just ignore all that and date her...?』
『I didn't say that.』
『You did!』
『Give me a break... Look, aren't you asking me because you want advice from your senior in love?』
Sasaki-kun’s voice was thick with anger. Wataru looked troubled, his eyebrows drawing together as he gripped the shoulder of the fuming Sasaki-kun. "Listen to the rest," he urged.
For Sasaki-kun, who had been moved by Saito-san’s devotion, hearing it reduced to clinical "common sense" was likely unbearable. Honestly, I felt a twinge of sadness too. I never imagined Wataru’s view on love was built on such a cold stack of logic.
『Listen, you might be misunderstanding something, but I’m on "Saito-san’s side" here. I’m not speaking from the "elegant" perspective of the person being confessed to. I can't speak from that position, and I never will.』
『"Saito-san’s side"...? You think you’re speaking for her after saying all that?』
『I am. At the very least, there’s victory and defeat for the one who confesses. If you get the other person to date you, you win. If you don’t, you lose. If you go in with nothing but your own convenient feelings, you’re the one who gets hurt. That applies to Saito-san, too. Doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl. The moment you fall for someone, you’re in an overwhelmingly weak position.』
『...』
『The one who fell in love has no rights. Even if you’re rejected for a vague reason like "just because," you can’t demand a better explanation. Even if you’re rejected cruelly, you have no right to complain. That’s just how it is. You’re the one pushing your own circumstances onto someone else, calling them out and confessing on your own whim.』
Wataru wasn't angry, but he spoke with such intensity that Sasaki-kun had no choice but to listen. It was the same for me. You can’t truly know the weight of the emotions someone carries when they confess unless you’ve stood in those shoes yourself.
Common sense, procedures, wins and losses—these words, seemingly so alien to romance, were part of the value system Wataru had forged through his own experiences as "the one who confesses." Which meant that Saito-san might be feeling those same things right now—or she was about to learn them.
『The reason I was so blunt about just going out with her is because Saito-san’s position really is that weak. That’s how much power you have over her right now.』
『I would never take advantage of that!』
『But I’m sure Saito-san was prepared for it anyway.』
『...Gh...!』
From the way Wataru spoke, he seemed to think that Saito-san didn't believe she fully understood Sasaki-kun when she confessed. She had likely even considered the possibility that she might see a side of him she never knew existed—an ugly side—during the confession itself. And yet, knowing that, she had still confessed...?
First, Wataru had spoken of love as a dry, logical concept. Then, he had shifted into Saito-san’s perspective, revealing a fierce resolve that transcended the selfishness of one-sided love. If both of these aspects coexist within romance—then it would be far too cruel if relationships couldn't begin with only one person’s feelings.
『—In the middle of all that, Saito-san managed to make you worry enough to give her a "hold."』
『...』
『And the guy who said it is taking her so seriously that he’s agonizing over it and even asking for advice.』
What Sasaki-kun was doing was exactly what I had failed to do. Perhaps the person confessing really is in a weak position. Wataru had dismissed it as something to be brushed off, but he must have felt the same way as Saito-san that first time. I had ended it with a single phrase: "I'm not interested." As the one in the stronger position, I had rejected him "correctly." And yet—
『—Is there anything happier than that? I’m so damn jealous.』
The phantom of the Wataru from those days leveled its gun at me and pulled the trigger.
The pain was relentless. I felt as though if I moved my hand from my chest, blood would actually come pouring out.
"Um, Aichi..."
"Yeah... sorry."
As I tried to sink to the floor, my leg brushed against the feet of Kei, who was still peering out on all fours. I slid my back down the wall and hugged my knees to my chest. I felt like I would fall apart if I didn't hold myself together like this.
『Sajou, that’s—』
『It’s fine. It’s just envy. Envy toward Saito-san.』
『...』
Obviously, Wataru didn't envy Saito-san because she was liked by Sasaki-kun. His true meaning was that she had achieved the ideal form of a confession. Even from a weak position, she had moved the other person’s heart and made them take her seriously. He couldn't help but feel jealous of that. Even if I had the right to point that out, I could never bring myself to say it.
『If you can worry that much about someone who just confessed to you, then you’re capable of falling for her for real. And that doesn't have to happen before you start dating. It’s not like you’re swearing an eternal oath or anything.』
『Sajou...』
『You should just go out with her.』
Staring at the floor, I couldn't see Wataru’s face. But since the second time he said those words sounded exactly like the first, I imagine his expression was the same as well. He had processed his past and turned it into experience. Nothing was going to change now.
That was the only thing that hadn't changed.