Sasaki-kun pressed Wataru to take him seriously. When Wataru replied that he thought he was being reasonably serious, Sasaki-kun’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. The "I see..." that escaped his lips carried a heavy sense of realization. It seemed he actually had an inkling of what Wataru meant regarding his sister.
"Well... that’s secondary for now."
Sasaki-kun sat up and fixed Wataru with a grave look once more. Without meeting his gaze, Wataru answered while idly rolling the drink bottle in his hands.
"Doesn't sound like you just accepted Saito-san. I’ve gained a bit of respect for you. I used to wonder what was wrong with you."
"No, I mean, we aren’t even dating yet."
"Huh? You aren’t? You two were talking so comfortably in the classroom."
"That was—!"
Sasaki-kun trailed off, unable to find the words.
I found myself wondering the same thing as Wataru. If Sasaki-kun had been confessed to by Saito-san this afternoon, then the scene of them talking while he was dressed as a dog had happened right after the cleanup of the first day of the Cultural Festival. If they were comfortable enough to interact like that after sharing their feelings, it was only natural to assume Sasaki-kun had accepted her.
Aside from that, Wataru’s words nagged at me. It was almost as if he were implying that it wasn't a good thing for Sasaki-kun to date Saito-san. The thought that his words might stem from petty jealousy made my chest tighten with a cold chill.
"...I asked her to put it on hold. I told her I needed time to think..."
"Oh..."
I was taken aback by Sasaki-kun’s admission. It must take an immense amount of courage to tell the person you love how you feel. For the person involved, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it the event of a lifetime. And he... put it on hold?
She might be living in a state of constant terror, not knowing if she’ll be accepted or rejected. Even in that state, had Saito-san gone to Sasaki-kun in the classroom and acted so bravely? Perhaps it would have been easier for her to simply be turned down right then and there.
Thinking of Saito-san made my heart ache.
For the first time, a surge of disapproval toward Sasaki-kun welled up inside me. But as I caught a glimpse of Sasaki-kun’s solemn profile behind Wataru, the heat rising within me vanished instantly. Why was he making a face like that?
"......"
Kei remained silent. From my position above her, I couldn't read her expression. She likely wasn't asleep; she was probably listening intently to their conversation.
"I see."
Wataru simply said that and leaned back. His tone wasn't reproachful; in fact, it sounded as if he had reached some kind of understanding. Despite the brevity of his response, he didn't seem to be joking at all.
Maybe there were special circumstances. No matter how much my emotions wavered, only Sasaki-kun knew his own situation and feelings. No matter how much righteous indignation I felt, I couldn't exactly jump out in front of them from here anyway. I decided to follow Wataru and Kei’s lead and listen quietly.
"First, why didn’t you turn her down? Tell me that. Honestly, I’m surprised you even put it on hold."
"..."
"..."
There was a reason Wataru had said that. Seeing his matter-of-fact tone and Sasaki-kun’s reaction to it, I was certain of it. There must be something shared only between those two. Though I wasn't like Kei, I felt a slight pang of envy toward that relationship.
"Because, Sasaki, you—"
"Sajou, it’s fine."
"...Huh?"
"It’s fine now. That’s over."
"Huh?"
His second question had a sharp edge to it. Wataru turned a look of disbelief toward Sasaki-kun. It didn't seem like he was angry; rather, it was closer to pure confusion.
"...Why? Did you confess while I wasn't looking or something—"
"No, I didn’t confess."
"..."
Wataru shrugged at Sasaki-kun’s firm denial. He seemed at a loss for how to react.
The word "confession" had come up again. And from the sounds of it, they weren't talking about something between Sasaki-kun and Saito-san. They were talking about a different girl—one Sasaki-kun had liked long before Saito-san’s confession. But he had already given up on her.
"Aichi."
"No. I just... my legs were getting tired in this position."
I pulled away from the wall I’d been pressed against and sat down behind Kei. I reflexively hugged my knees as if to protect myself, perhaps because I recognized something all too familiar in their words.
"Have you really reached closure like that?"
"I have."
"In the past, I told Natsukawa how I felt until I was sick of it. And I was rejected. That’s exactly why I was able to accept it. That’s why we have the relationship we have now."
"—!"
My heart skipped a beat at the sudden mention of my name. Those were likely Wataru’s true, unvarnished feelings.
When we had run into a girl from our middle school on the way home once, Wataru had described our relationship as "over." But at the time, I hadn't felt like those words included Wataru’s own internal feelings.
Hearing that now, I couldn't simply think that if it was over, we could just start again. The days when I had continuously rejected Wataru might have left deep wounds in his heart—wounds that might still be causing him pain even now.
However, Wataru never said anything to me about it. That was exactly why I was afraid to think about it too deeply. There was too much I didn't understand about Wataru because I had done nothing but push him away. Even if he looked fine on the surface, he might have been screaming inside. To me, who could only talk to him tentatively, the courage to step into the depths of Wataru's heart was still out of reach.
But Wataru had reached closure.
That fact felt like a single thorn being pulled from the depths of my chest. It left a sharp, stinging pain. But it felt like a pain I shouldn't forget.
"I don’t think the me back then could have reached closure without saying anything. And I think the same applies to you now."
"Then, Sajou, you should consider the difference between us."
"Difference...?"
"Did you have a love rival back then? Was there someone nearby who liked Natsukawa before you did and loved her devotedly? At least for me, I was forced to see that clearly from the moment I enrolled."
"Guh...!"
Wataru let out a visibly flustered sound. Peeking over, I saw that his face was flushed, likely from the memory of those days. My own face started to burn as well. Back then, Wataru would only ever spout saccharine, skin-crawling lines. It was unthinkable compared to the Wataru of today. Taking advantage of the fact that no one was looking, I fanned my face with both hands.
"That’s the point. That’s where we're different, Sajou. In my case, I realized there wasn't a single opening for me to slip through."
"No, that’s not—"
"There was. I felt that way, so it’s true. It’s not for you to say otherwise, Sajou. That’s exactly why I was able to accept it, and I’m already over it."
"..."
It was embarrassing, but he was right. Wataru’s love and Sasaki-kun’s love were completely different things. There is no single right way to move on from someone you love. I’m sure the person Sasaki-kun liked is being cherished by that rival right now, and she is likely responding to those feelings in kind.
"Well? You got a problem with that?"
"......I do, but I don't."
"Which one is it?!"
Wataru gave a contradictory answer. Sasaki-kun slapped Wataru’s shoulder with a wry smile and called him out. Even though Sasaki-kun was the one who had come for advice, the atmosphere now felt as if he were the one comforting Wataru.
"Aichi, have you reached closure?"
"Eh..."
"About Sajocchi."
"......"
Kei, still on all fours, whispered as she turned back to look at me sitting behind her. Surely, Kei had her own thoughts after hearing Wataru and Sasaki-kun talk. She had watched Wataru and me from the very beginning.
The answer was already there—I hadn't reached closure at all.
The cause was my own perverse nature. I was confused back then about the 'hows' and 'whys', but I understand now. Back then, I refused to truly look at Wataru. It wouldn't have been strange for him to give up on me at any moment. To reject him myself and then reach out for his back as he walked away... no matter how I looked at it, I was just being selfish.
And that hasn't changed. I don't feel like this hand of mine has been pulled back at all. The back I touched once was warm, and that sensation was far too pleasant to ever forget.
"—I see."
When I shook my head in shame, Kei smiled as if she found the whole thing quite amusing.