It was the day before the Cultural Festival, so there were no classes; the entire day was dedicated to festival preparations. Our Class C was getting ready for our riddle contest in our classroom, but the festival itself took over the whole school. The entire student body was mobilized to haul benches and long tables into the gymnasium and other locations.
"The Drama Club is incredible, huh? They’re actually building a stage."
"Well, they don't exactly have set designers like a TV station. If they want to perform, they have to prepare the lighting, microphones, and everything else themselves."
I had learned about the Drama Club's situation while helping out the Executive Committee. Although we were in the middle of autumn, most of the work for the guys involved heavy lifting, so the cool weather was forgotten in an instant. Once we had finished most of it, the boys, myself included, returned to the classroom and collapsed on the floor, still wearing our black T-shirts.
"Seeing Sajocchi in black is kind of refreshing~"
"Don't make it sound like I'm black-hearted or something."
"Dark Sajocchi."
"I bet you're just bored, aren't you?"
As I lay exhausted against the wall, not even caring about the girls' eyes on me, Ashida approached. She was the picture of autumn in her school uniform and yellow knit sweater, and without a single word of appreciation for my hard work, she started making small talk. She poked me in the side while prattling on about something trivial. Meanwhile, over there, the baseball club manager, Hashimoto, was handing a towel to Yasuda from her club while saying "Good work," radiating a total aura of romance. Hey, that tickles! Ah—!
Natsukawa was away with the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, and since my hands were free from that side of things, I was fully occupied with our class's work. They had the Prince of Daytime Drama, Gou-senpai, over there, so there shouldn't be any problems. No, for real, Ishiguro-senpai actually has that kind of face... He looks like he’d suit the role of a detective, or a criminal, or a stiff-faced stoic, or even a guy having an affair with a hostess.
Ashida frequently grumbled to me about her "Natsukawa deficiency." You...! Of course I’m deficient too...! Must be nice for you, you can just pounce on Natsukawa whenever she’s around! All I can do is replenish myself with the lingering scent she leaves behind as she passes by...!
My devotion was apparently intense enough to be considered insane, as it seemed to even gross out Ashida. Ever since we talked about Natsukawa’s birthday, Ashida hadn't brought up the topic of birthday presents at all. I couldn't forget the face she made back then. She was definitely treating it as a taboo subject now. Is it okay? You can totally use my opinions as a reference, you know.
"Hey, look, look! The buzzer actually goes 'Ding-dong!' Isn't that cool?"
"Oh. What about that one? The one like a hat where a question mark pops up."
"It pops up fine, but the force of it makes the whole hat fly off your head. I tried making a chin strap for it, but then it just choked me."
"Terrifying."
Since only five people could participate in the riddle contest at a time, we were assuming the participants would be visiting children. Causing neck injuries at a mere riddle contest would be nothing but trouble. Yeah, rejecting that idea was the right call.
"Okay, a riddle for Sajocchi."
"All of a sudden?"
While I was lounging around after finishing my assigned tasks early, Ashida suddenly threw a question at me. Actually, riddles were a bit of a craze in class lately. Maybe it was because the girls were in charge of preparing the questions, but they had an insane amount of stock. I’d probably answered twenty questions in the last few days; my brain should be soft and flexible by now.
"What do you call an event where you kiss a thousand times?"
"K-k-k-k-kissing a thousand times...?"
"Okay, you're way too shaken up. Don't look at me with those shocked eyes, it's scary."
I mean, the impact of the question was too strong to even think about the answer. I couldn't help but be flustered. Even the people on variety shows would be surprised by an event like that. No matter how much of a festival-loving guy someone was, they’d definitely let out a genuine "Whaaaat!!?" You could tell just by looking at it—it was dangerous.
"...Is the location in America?"
"No, it's a riddle. There's no 'location.' It's not some event at a club in America."
In Japan, it would be impossible, but I thought that maybe in America, where possibilities were infinite, it might happen. That country seemed like it would go as far as humanly possible, after all.
"A thousand times... sen-kai... senkai? Revolving kisses?"
This was bad... Usually, I could use my head and think more deeply, but I was so flustered that no wisdom would spring forth. I started imagining lips twisting like a wrung-out rag.
"Okay, a hint. What's another word for a kiss?"
"A seppun?"
"Eww, gross."
"Why?!"
You were the one who asked! Uh, the Japanese translation for kiss is seppun, right? Or maybe baiser in a European style? I wasn't wrong, was I? I didn't deserve to be called gross, did I? That was just Ashida's way of saying hello, right?
Calm down. Seppun, baiser... a thousand times. Wait, a thousand times? No good, the number was so abnormal my head wouldn't spin. Even a playboy kiss-maniac would give up halfway through. Your lips would probably turn black from too much kissing.
"Give me a hint."
"Ehh, another one? This is a simple problem even for kids."
Don't tell kids about events where you kiss a thousand times. What if they took it literally and believed such a thing actually existed just because it was a riddle? This riddle would be a total "no-go" for Natsukawa. Wait, if it’s a Sister Infinity at Natsukawa’s level—Sisty for short—she might actually be holding out hope that Airi-chan would ask her for some. Yeah, I’d want her to.
"Th-then, well... what kind of sound does it make when you kiss?"
"The sound... of a kiss?"
Wait, I was imagining a kiss as something like... well, a gentle touch. At that level, it wouldn't even make a sound, would it? If a kiss made a sound... I could only think of something graphic now. Eh? Is it just that my heart is adult-oriented? Have I already become an adult...?
"Hey, what's with that slightly disgusted face? And now I’m feeling a little embarrassed! I'm just giving a hint!"
"I mean, just how intense would a kiss have to be to make a sound?"
"H-haah?! I didn't mean it like that! Sajocchi, you pervert!"
"No, no, you were the one who said it, Ashida!"
"Sound effects! It's a sound effect! There's no way a riddle would have that kind of realism!"
"Say that from the start! I ended up imagining something incredible!"
"Stop it! Now I'm starting to imagine it too!"
Even if we were friends who usually joked around, we were still a guy and a girl; awkward things were awkward. Besides, for someone who occasionally talked big about her views on romance, she had way too little resistance. It was my first time seeing Ashida flailing her hands and getting all flustered like this.
Composing myself... a sound effect, a sound effect. And you do it a thousand times... Ah, I’ve got it.
"That's it. The answer is a 'lottery,' a chusen-kai. Because it's a thousand—sen—chus, kisses."
"Correct. Isn't your heart just filthy, Sajocchi?"
"I was actually surprised that you were more pure than I thought, Ashida. Your face is red."
"Shut up!"
When I teased her, Ashida ran away, seemingly not wanting me to see her face anymore.
It was actually a bit thrilling to see a tough, athletic, extroverted girl like Ashida get embarrassed. Maybe I actually have a sadistic streak. Isn't it just pathetic for an unpopular guy to be a sadist, though?
◆
"......Did you do something to Kei?"
"I have no memory of that."
In the afternoon, the Cultural Festival Executive Committee work seemed to have reached a lull. Natsukawa, who had returned, told me how the tasks I had been working on had finally settled. Since I had felt a bit restless after leaving halfway through, I felt somewhat relieved. More than that, being with Natsukawa like this—(omitted).
After talking for a bit, Natsukawa began looking around restlessly. This was a gesture I saw often. She usually did it when Ashida wasn't in her seat, looking for where she might be. I'm jealous; I want to be looked for, too.
As an aside, I also looked around out of curiosity. Normally, Ashida would sense Natsukawa's presence and pounce on her in their usual display of girl-love. While I found it enviable, I also felt that Ashida was welcome to be even more daring. I! Want! To see! Something even stronger!
When I looked for her, I found her surprisingly quickly. At the teacher's desk, which was being used as a mock MC stand, Ashida was watching us with her mouth set in a triangle, glaring at me and making sure not to come closer. The fact that she was avoiding me meant, by extension, that she couldn't approach Natsukawa, who was right in front of me.
Sensing something, Natsukawa began questioning me while poking my stomach with the corner of a clear file she was holding—that was how we got here. Being looked up at so suspiciously from directly in front of me wasn't bad—ouch, that stings, that's surprisingly painful, ahhh.
"Ashida gave me a weird hint for a riddle, and she pouted when I teased her about it."
"So you did do something."
"Ow, ow, ow."
Perhaps feeling lonely because Ashida hadn't come to greet her, Natsukawa's attacks intensified. The corner of the clear file through my T-shirt was low-key painful. I never thought the day would come when I’d be tormented by Natsukawa like this. Endure it, me...! Don't let out a sound...! If I let out a cry of joy in this situation, my meager likeability will plunge through the floor...!
"............You two enjoy yourselves."
"......"
Natsukawa muttered as she turned her face away. Her voice was so quiet that I would have definitely missed it if it hadn't been me. I didn't know how to respond to words said with such a sulky face. No, is this the kind of thing where it's better not to respond? Girls really are difficult... I didn't expect to make two people pout in such a short amount of time.
"Then, a riddle for Natsukawa."
"Eh?"
"What do you call an event where you kiss a thousand times?"
"......!? K-k-k-k-kiss...!?"
"......Huh?"
It was a question whose impact had startled even me. Since it wasn't anything to get worked up about by Ashida's standards, I tried asking Natsukawa, but instead of just being surprised, her face turned redder than I expected and she began to panic.
"Wh-what are you saying...! Seriously!"
"Wait, hey."
She shoved the clear file against my chest. In the brief moment I thought "Wait," Natsukawa fanned her face with her hands and ran out of the classroom.
"......Eh."
I hadn't even given her the hint yet. Still, it seemed the riddle was too stimulating for Natsukawa. I felt like I somewhat understood why it had been removed from the list of riddles for tomorrow's event.
When I looked toward Ashida, she stuck her tongue out at me as if to say, "Serves you right."
Bleah.