Looking back, I realized I’d never really had someone I could truly call a "senior." During my middle school years, I think I harbored a cynical view of everyone around me, not just the older students. Though I never voiced it, I was always so overwhelmed by the demands of my daily life that I became self-centered, constantly thinking, Nobody even cares what I’m going through. I’m not sure if that stemmed from the general instability of being a teenager or simply a lack of emotional room to breathe. All I remember is that, back then, I was always pushed to my absolute limit.
Maybe I’m just clumsy at navigating life. But even before that, I simply didn't know how to interact with those who held the status of a senior. In hindsight, even with Sasaki-kun there, it might have been an impossible task for me to handle the upperclassmen smoothly while constantly gauging their moods. That was why, instead of being able to convince them to stay that day, I had only succeeded in offending them.
When Sasaki-kun spoke up, Inoue-senpai looked taken aback for a fleeting second before nodding. That reaction alone was enough to tell me we weren’t exactly being welcomed. Despite that, I allowed myself to be swept along until we reached the edge of the athletic field.
"Um, hey... Natsukawa-san."
"……!"
As I was giving non-committal replies to Sasaki-kun, who was chatting to fill the silence, Inoue-senpai—who had been walking ahead with Ogawa-senpai—suddenly turned around to face me. I froze as the memory of her hostile glare from the other day flashed through my mind.
"Look, I’m sorry. About before."
"H-huh...?"
She turned halfway toward me to offer the apology. The words were so unexpected that I found myself stammering, unable to form a coherent response. My mind went completely blank from the sheer tension. Afraid that I might upset her again, I simply stood there with my back stiff as a board.
"I mean, I know it’s rich coming from me, but... back then, I was just frustrated with everything, not just you, Natsukawa-san. But, well, seeing Taka and his friend get into that intense, scary vibe right in front of us... it kind of snapped me out of it."
"Taka... you mean, Sasaki-kun?"
"Ugh……"
Judging by what she was saying, it sounded like Sasaki-kun and his friend had been on the verge of a confrontation. Could it have been... a fight?
"Sasaki-kun, did you get into a fight...?"
"No, well, not exactly a fight... I mean, I just got scolded. Hard..."
"No, he was totally snapping. Honestly, I’ve never seen a guy get like that. We didn't know how to stop it, and it was terrifying... In the middle of all that, I started wondering what on earth I was even doing."
"Yeah, me too..."
I couldn't detect a trace of that aggressive, confrontational attitude from Inoue-senpai and Ogawa-senpai now. Instead, they seemed like dejected, shrunken little puppies, which was almost cute in a way. They actually looked a bit intimidated.
Sasaki-kun said he "got scolded." Since he didn't seem at all defiant about it, I could tell it hadn't turned into a physical altercation. Even so, if it was enough to make the previously irritable Inoue-senpai and Ogawa-senpai act like this, then Sasaki-kun's friend must have been incredibly frightening when he was angry. I knew all too well how a man’s irritation could make someone recoil in fear. Even back in middle school, I’m sure I would have dropped my cynical facade out of sheer terror.
"And then, to top it off, we find out he’s the Queen of Kouetsu's younger brother..."
"E-the Queen of Kouetsu...?"
An unfamiliar title entered the conversation. I understood "Kouetsu" well enough, since the girls in class occasionally used it as a shorthand for Kouetsu High School. The problem was the "Queen" part. Who were they talking about? And even if I knew, was there a younger brother of such a fearsome person among the first-years? I’d never heard even a whisper of such a rumor.
"So, anyway... sorry for everything."
"Yeah, sorry..."
"Ah! Yes! No, please, it’s fine—"
Both seniors offered their apologies, looking genuinely awkward. I could see from their words and their entire demeanor that they were truly remorseful. I hadn't quite followed the middle of the explanation, but the situation of being apologized to by two upperclassmen was so awkward that I ended up blurting out a strange, frantic response while trying to accept it.
"Well, you know... I invited you along to fix things like this, Natsukawa. I didn't want the air to stay heavy between us forever."
"Ah, um... I see."
Was it safe to assume the tension with the seniors was gone? That was a relief, but more than that, I felt like something else was nagging at the back of my mind... Struck by that odd sensation, I simply nodded for the time being. Regardless, I felt the weight lift from my chest knowing there wouldn't be any more hostility, and I followed Sasaki-kun and the others with a sense of security.
Being a school that received significant donations, the grounds featured an impressive soccer court. A gentle slope ran from the perimeter fence down toward the court, providing a place to sit and watch. I had expected to be the only student observing the club, but there were already a few girls scattered about. Judging by the way they were constantly whispering and squealing, I assumed they were fans. I felt a small pang of envy seeing them with their friends. I imagined how it would be if Kei were here, but the thought of her sitting quietly on the sidelines just to watch boys was so out of character that I had to stifle a laugh. She would look much more at home running around in the middle of the pitch.
Since I was visiting the soccer club, I’d imagined I might see a mock match, but they didn't start with that. Sasaki-kun was joining in late today. The team was focused on fundamental drills—weaving through cones and practicing passes. The first-years, in particular, were being put through their paces on the basics.
"Whoa, Taka brought a really cute girl with him."
"That’s Natsukawa Aika, isn't it? She’s famous even among the second-years for being gorgeous."
"Wait, I thought someone said she already had a boyfriend?"
I felt a prickle of discomfort as gazes shifted toward me from different parts of the field. To be honest, it was a little unnerving to realize that seniors I didn't even know recognized me—and were somehow under the impression that I had a boyfriend. The fact that they didn't try to approach me felt even more bizarre. Although, if they had, I wouldn't have known what to say to them anyway.
Every so often, Sasaki-kun would wave. When I gave a small wave back, he would grin happily while his teammates teased him and patted his shoulders. I really hoped they weren't getting the wrong idea...
While there were many curious looks at first, everyone focused entirely on the ball once the practice intensified. They were performing movements you’d never see in a televised match and trapping difficult balls with their feet—skills I could never dream of imitating. It had been a long time since I’d seen people moving with such raw agility in person. It was certainly worth watching.
Over in the corner, Inoue-senpai and Ogawa-senpai were busy. They were handing out water bottles and towels to players on break, or scribbling things down on clipboards. It seemed that even as managers, they had a mountain of work to do.
"That’s incredible..."
This, too, was something they were capable of.
A lot had happened. They had apologized to me. But the thing that Sasaki-kun, Inoue-senpai, and Ogawa-senpai truly wanted to dedicate themselves to wasn't the Cultural Festival Executive Committee—it was this. Even though they surely wanted to be here at their club, giving their all to something they actually enjoyed, they had prioritized the committee. It’s true that joining the committee was their own choice, but even so, I couldn't bring myself to think they were entirely in the wrong for wanting to leave back then.
After all, compared to them, I—who didn't have a club or anything else to commit to—hadn't been of much use at all.