I took my meal in the dining hall as well.
...Hmph.
...It wasn't enough.
Even before I took the first bite, I could tell it wasn't nearly enough.
Dry chicken, instant mashed potatoes, and a few sad, sautéed green beans.
Something was wrong.
I could have sworn we had increased the military food budget.
By the way, there were soldiers stationed in the Space Raiders Dining Hall specifically to keep an eye on me. Their sole mission was to make sure I didn't try to do any of the cooking myself.
Urgh...
Still, this was bothering me.
Looking at the budget I’d approved, the meals shouldn't have looked like this. To be specific, there should have been enough funding to include curry rice on the side. Sure, today wasn't officially Curry Day, but usually, there’d be something substantial like fried rice or beef bowls.
Was today just an unlucky day for the menu?
"Huma-san!"
"That's Instructor Huma to you, Private Second Class!"
"Whatever! Is the food at this base always like this?"
"...Listen, kid, don't even think about cooking. If you're still hungry, go chew on a nutrition bar."
"No, that’s not what I’m asking! I want to know if it’s always like this!"
"It's always like this here."
"Whaaaaaaaaat...?"
"It can't be helped. Parcion's economy has completely collapsed. Here, take a nutrition bar."
Huma-san tossed me a bar. I caught it and started eating, but I wasn't happy about it. It was the kind with dried fruit kneaded into the paste.
Still, the fact that they’d accepted this as the norm meant I wasn't getting through to them. This was the classic disconnect between the front lines and the executives at headquarters.
"Fairy!"
"The Fairy is currently enjoying her day off~!"
"Enough with the jokes! The food at this base is a disaster."
"There you go again! I’m telling you, you are not allowed to roast any potatoes!"
"No, just look at this!"
"It looks like a perfectly normal meal to me."
"The portion is way too small!"
"And that’s why I’m telling you, Leo-kun, you aren't allowed to roast potatoes."
"You're missing the point! Between the Galactic Empire and Chronos, military expenses are essentially free thanks to some creative accounting magic! I increased the food budget specifically, but that money isn't reflecting on these plates!"
The military was the nation's largest engine of consumption. Moreover, the variety of items it consumed was staggering. If we spent aggressively here, the economic stimulus would be more effective than any half-baked subsidy. Theoretically, by utilizing infrastructure development and the military correctly, we could combat recessions and unemployment simultaneously.
In other words, there was absolutely no reason to skimp on food costs.
"...Eh?"
"Look at these mashed potatoes! They’re the cheapest, lowest-grade brand available! Our procurement shouldn't even be touching these!"
Having fully transformed into the Cost Price Old Man, I let out a roar.
"How can you even tell that just by looking?"
"The smell!"
"Ugh..."
"And the meat is bone-dry! I know it’s chicken breast, but even so, this is a remarkably low-tier product! On top of that, the quantity is pathetic! These meals are supposed to be calibrated for at least three thousand calories! I even added a surplus to the budget so everyone could get seconds! There are too few vegetables, too! Wifey and I both gave strict orders to buy local produce in bulk! There should be piles of it!"
"Wait, really...?"
"Huma-san! I don't know the exact coordinates since I was brought here blindfolded, but this is definitely Parcion, right!?"
"Y-yes. It’s Parcion... wait, Private Second Class! I'm the instructor right now!"
"I'm speaking as the King right now! This is embezzlement... No, I allocated the budget so generously that it wouldn't even hurt the bottom line if someone was skimming off the top... but who the hell is it!?"
I never would have noticed this if I hadn't been demoted to Private Second Class. As high-ranking officers, our meals were handled through the Palace budget. During operations, whoever happened to be free would cook—usually me or Nina-san.
"A-a Cost Price Old Man of a different breed has appeared..."
I was the Cost Price Old Man, so what? I was the man who had his hands in every part of the budget, so what?
"Enough! Fairy, get Wifey on the line!"
I had the Fairy act as a bridge to connect me to my wife.
"What is it, Lord Groom!? If you've gone and roasted potatoes because you were hungry, I’m going to be very cross!"
Apparently, everyone expected me to start an illegal bonfire.
"The military budget is being embezzled!"
"...O-oh?"
"The quality of the food is atrocious! The caloric and nutritional values aren't hitting the mandatory targets!"
"What...?"
"Where are the Ninjas!?"
"I have them spread out across various facilities serving as Privates Second Class, just like you, but..."
"Gather them immediately and start an investigation. Heh-heh-heh! No matter how clever they think they’re being, they can't fool me. I know the cost prices, the delivery volumes, the total budget—I can even tell by the damn taste of the ingredients!"
"Huma..."
"Yes! Your Majesty!"
"Support the Lord Groom in this. If his food is involved, he’s liable to start killing people over the grudge."
"Understood..."
Now then, I wondered which moron was the one stealing my food? I was going to slaughter them.
We, the Space Raiders, marched straight to the base's Accounting Department. I elegantly smashed through the door with a Flying Body Press, just like a certain legendary mayor.
I stormed inside.
"Where’s the bastard who stole my fooooooooooooooooooood!?"
"You're going to have to pay for that door you just broke!"
"Shut up! I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
"There, there. Have another nutrition bar."
That made two nutrition bars for the day. After wolfing it down, I grabbed the Accounting Officer by the collar.
"Hand over the accounting documents for the mess hall!"
"H-h-hyeeeee!"
I tore through the files, but the paperwork was immaculate. Since even the vegetable counts were being faked, I’d assumed it was a local problem at the base, but it seemed I was wrong.
"Huma-san, this is bad."
"What’s the word, sir?"
"The problem is higher up. Members of the Space Raiders... I have unfortunate news from the King of Chronos."
I wiped a mock tear from my eye.
"Someone, somewhere in Parcion, is stealing our food."
It seemed the other squad members had felt the portions were small as well. They’d known something was fishy. The military had staged a sudden coup d'etat, the local residents were being uncooperative, and even though I was acting like a hired shop manager, I was being treated like a heartless invader.
They were skimming the budget and pinning the resentment on me! At this rate... there might even be people out there collecting illegal taxes in my name.
"Aha! Ahahahaha! You've got some nerve! You bastards, I'm going to kill every last one of you!"
"The Demon King has awakened..." the Fairy muttered.
How was I the Demon King in this scenario!?
"Aah... He's finally undergone his Dark Falling. That’s why I told everyone to be careful with the Lord Groom's meals..."
I hadn't fallen into darkness! I had simply stepped into my role as His Highness!
"I was told I only had to watch out for him roasting sweet potatoes! This wasn't in the job description!" Huma-san grumbled.
"Order the Kamishiro Group to begin a full investigation as well! Fuhahahaha! Fuhahahaha! Fuhahahaha!"
I bet the nutrition budget for children was being sucked dry too. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind if they were just taking a small cut! But they were probably gorging themselves and only distributing the scraps!
"On our honor as the Space Raiders!"
"Even though you just enlisted as a Private Second Class today!"
Huma-san's retort echoed hollowly.
This was a deed befitting a space monster—an act of a wicked ogre stealing food from the mouths of the people! It was an unforgivable sin.
Kawagon trembled with righteous fury.