The race schedule was finalized.
Promotion went into overdrive. We were filming constantly, conducting interviews with famous competitors, and putting photo books on sale. Electronic tickets were issued in droves. Because I was terrified of potential accidents, I had kept the initial spectator estimates low, but the lottery odds became so abysmal that we faced immense pressure to add more seats.
Eventually, we decided to set up several Satellite Venues, dividing the crowds by country. Tickets for these venues were cheap and operated on a one-drink system. The price was low enough that even a Parcionian could afford it.
I mean, really! In the original plan, they could have bought regular tickets! If only the citizens hadn't rejected their own pay raises! Because of that, we ended up providing sections that cost about as much as a child’s pocket money to enter.
I was photographed in a motorcycle suit plastered with advertisements for various companies within the Kamishiro Group. The bike I was slated to ride had been developed by one of the group’s military contractors. Its design looked like something meant for Atmospheric Entry. Well, it wasn't a bad-looking machine, but...
The Imperial Army and the Chronos Army had their logos on it too. Wait, if I didn't perform well, wasn't I going to get punched?
Wifey approached me with a bright smile. "Lord Groom, you understand, right? Do it with everything you’ve got."
"A-Are? I thought your little Poku-chin was part of the Casual Group?"
"Go all out."
Claire joined her. "Leo, give it your absolute best."
Oh, good grief... "Why?!"
"To put those arrogant Parcionians in their place," Wifey said, making no effort to hide her displeasure.
Claire smiled gently. "It’s to give a dream to the citizens who desire punishment and hard labor."
That smile made my stomach drop. No, that’s terrifying! Isn't that 'dream' actually a nightmare meant to show them exactly what happens if they defy us?!
And so, the day of the race arrived.
First on the docket was the motorcycle race I was competing in. Eddie's Squad was handling security, and they were incredibly pumped up. The course consisted of three laps around the Old Town Area, centered on a massive brackish lake that fed into the sea.
I donned my motorcycle suit and a helmet covered in corporate logos. Wait, this was a Battle Helmet! It turned out to be the sturdiest headgear they had. The suit had a different aesthetic, but it was basically a Combat Suit. In the end, this gear really was the most practical choice.
"Fairy, system start."
"Yes, yes~"
"Afun."
For a split second, the roar of the engine almost sent me to the other side. No, this was the best. This vibration was incredible. I was so glad I’d entered this race.
The race began. The engine let out a savage howl. I loved it! I was practically drooling.
"L-Leo-kun's mental age has regressed to that of a primary school boy..."
"Waaay! ♪"
Normally, with a bike, you'd use the brakes to decelerate and perform precise maneuvers to weave through the pack. You’d have a strategy that looked at the race as a whole...
"Waaay! ♪"
"Leo-kun! Brakes! You're not using the brakes at all!"
"Waaay!"
It was just like martial arts. I slipped past the others with fluid ease. I only needed to slow down for the corners. Just a smooth, effortless slide.
"H-His movements are bizarre!"
"Is that really a human?!"
"Does he have wings?!"
The live commentary was getting pretty noisy.
"Ah, ahahahaha! The Divine Realm is drawing neeeear!"
"Somebody stop him!"
I was riding a military monster bike that had been modified for racing. It was a wild stallion of a machine, and they had told me that His Majesty was likely the only one who could handle it. It was fun. It was way too much fuuuun!
"His Majesty and that machine... I think we should ban them from next time onwards," Lou-chan's Mama muttered.
"Y-You're right..."
Even she had forsaken me. I pulled away from the lead group at a terrifying speed. You couldn't get this kind of rush from alcohol fuel or diesel made from burning trash! Do you get it?! This feeling contained most of the reasons why fighter pilots could never quit!
"Fuha! Fuhahahahaha!"
"Even though the conditions are identical, he's such a daredevil that nobody can even get close..."
"Gyahahahaha! Guhahahahaha!"
"Wait, Leo-kun, your brain chemicals are at an insane level! What are you doing? Honestly, you idiot!"
"L-Lord Groom! I told you to do your best, but I didn't ask for this much! Come back!"
"L-Leo! Wait! We didn't ask for that much!"
I couldn't even hear the screams of Wifey and the others. Flooded with dopamine, I surged forward.
"Gyahahahaha!"
After three laps, having lapped the top teams multiple times, I crossed the finish line!
Fu... fuhehe. Fuhehehehehe!
And the moment I stepped off the bike and struck a victory pose...
BOOM!
"Huh?"
The bike burst into flames.
"It couldn't take the strain... poor bikey. It couldn't handle your driving, Leo-kun..."
"Nooooooooooooooo!"
"I mean, during the second half, the temperature was already bizarre. I just thought, 'Oh well, whatever happens, happens,'" Fairy said.
"Nooooooooooooooo!"
I wailed in despair. Fire extinguishers were brought out, but the machine suddenly exploded.
Chudooon!
Goodbye... my Sleipnir... a name I had literally just given it.
Technically, it was a complete accident—specifically, an accident caused by my performance exceeding the limits of the machine.
"My Sleipniiiiiiiiiir!"
I fell to my knees and looked up at the heavens. The flames rising from the wreckage were like napalm. The scene looked exactly like a Space Marine unit that had been caught in a heavy bombardment.
Chudooon!
Tomorrow's top news thumbnail was officially decided.
As a result, I was banned from motorcycles by my beloved wives. I was ordered to do my shopping on a Mamachari or in a car driven by an Imperial Guard Knight. Even my light truck was confiscated. Furthermore, while they let me stand on the winner's podium, I was banned from future competitions. They claimed it was for my own safety!
Kawagon... the tears wouldn't stop.
The event was dubbed the Sunset Missile Bike Incident and was recorded in Parcion's textbooks for years to come. The lesson was the same as the Myth of Icarus: "At the end of reckless challenges and desires that exceed one's station, ruin awaits."
It wasn't reckless! And as for my station... I thought it was appropriate? I just got a little too fired up.
As a hidden lesson, people whispered that "The Chronos Royal House are idiots, so don't defy them." Listen here, calling an idiot an idiot is a declaration of war!
By the way, despite causing such a catastrophe, I was completely unscathed. Even the Ogre God Nation people were totally put off by the display.
"That was a tragic accident," one said.
"It's the height of a man-made disaster," Fairy added coldly.
"But everyone told me to do my best!"
"You went too far! Nobody expected you to go to that extreme! We thought you were going to lose on purpose, Leo-kun!"
She was right. I had intended to let the civilians take the glory. But once I got on that bike, my mind... well, it went completely blank. In a bad way.
And so, the first motorcycle race came to a close. The viewership rating across the entire universe was an overwhelming number one.