Pa-puu, pa-puu...
I stepped out of the patrol car and waved.
The Knights immediately grabbed me and forced me to get ready. I was ushered straight to the match venue while changing into my martial arts uniform.
When I arrived, Saijo-kun was already waiting in his shrine maiden outfit. He looked as lovely as ever today.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," I said.
Despite my apology, veins were throbbing on his forehead.
"No, really, it was an accident. An actual accident that forced me to fight a tank."
"I heard! I was just an idiot for worrying that it might be some kind of delay tactic on your part!"
"But! Doing pro-wrestling made me sleepy!"
"Are you a toddler!?"
After that pointless exchange, the match began.
Saijo-kun was strong. Compared to the others, Eddy stood out for his athletic physique and the sheer precision of his attacks. Everything about Eddy was orthodox, delivered at a high level. He was the classic "master" archetype—the kind that was easy to grasp. We had good chemistry, and our matches usually went fifty-fifty. Every fight with him was a narrow victory or defeat.
Melissa, on the other hand, used an ancient style. It was worlds apart from the logic of sports. Unlike modern martial arts, the common sense of Galactic Empire Swordsmanship didn't apply to her. There were simply too many irregular movements. Consequently, when I won, I won, but when I lost, I couldn't even put up a fight.
Then there was me—a practitioner of a mysterious martial art forged on the battlefield, picking up bits and pieces from everywhere. I hadn't even organized my techniques yet. Mixed with Katori-sensei's teachings, my combat style had become like a rhythm game where the prompts were hidden. My survival rate was high, but it wasn't exactly a "strong" martial art in the traditional sense, mostly because it lacked any formal system.
And then, there was Saijo-kun. Like Melissa, he practiced an ancient style. However, his school was much newer than hers. The difference was roughly like comparing a school from before the mid-Edo period to one from the Bakumatsu or Meiji eras.
So, what did that actually mean in a fight?
"Kieeeeeeeeeeeeei!"
He lunged for my forehead.
I dodged—no, he used the momentum of dropping his center of gravity to transition into a throat thrust! Then he dropped even lower, aiming for my solar plexus! It grazed me! I couldn't evade it completely!
"So fast! And terrifying!!"
He'd come at me in a single breath—snap-snap-snap! I didn't think I'd be able to dodge if he started stringing those into a combo!
I backed off to long range. I was genuinely scared.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."
He breathed. Here he comes!
Boom!
He closed a ridiculous distance in a single step. He went straight for a thrust—a textbook Galactic Empire Swordsmanship thrust.
"Hogera!"
I threw my body down, slamming my hands into the floor. As I evaded, I launched a kick toward his face from below. He nimbly sidestepped it.
Of course he did! This was bad! Long range wasn't a safe zone anymore! I had to get close!
Armored grappling was my only choice. I went in for a low-altitude tackle, but he pressed down on my head, stuffing the attempt!
"I've already prepared a countermeasure for that!"
You bastard!
"Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeei!"
He slashed down; I parried while dropping to one knee... and went for a knee-aimed sweep! He pulled his leg back, evading effortlessly.
Hieeeeeeeeeeee!
"I anticipated that as well!"
This was bad, bad, bad! My usual strategy of dragging the opponent into a field they were bad at wasn't working! It was like fighting Katori-sensei! What do I do?!
Sigh... I have to treat him as a Katori-sensei-class opponent.
"Saijo-kun... sorry if you get hurt."
"Don't underestimate meeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Whoa, he was fast! A barrage of slashes rained down on me. But I could see these. Guard, guard, and—flip it up!
"Guh!"
Then, I let out a roar.
"Uoooooooooooooooo!"
Uki-!
I went into a full sprint. A thrust? A jumping move? No. It was the attack I trusted most. Satsuma Martial Arts.
The Super Special Grade Runaway Express Kawagon put his entire body weight into a downward smash.
Saijo-kun was no amateur. He didn't try to block it head-on. He used triangular footwork to step out of the way, trying to parry from an angle...
Fuhahahahahaha!
That doesn't matter!
The wooden sword he'd used to parry snapped in half. Saijo-kun was a split second too late in letting go, and the momentum slammed him into the floor. He hit the ground back-first and bounced.
Knockout!
Furthermore, my wooden sword was now buried in the floor.
"Are you an idiot!?"
Eddy, who had been refereeing, kicked me.
"Are you trying to kill your buddy?! Kevin! Tatiana!"
"Y-Yeah. Tatiana-chan, Heal!"
"O-Oh, roger that!"
Saijo-kun was completely down for the count. His eyes were rolled back, and he was foaming at the mouth a little.
"Um... sorry."
"You! That's not a move for a match! Are you stupid!?"
"But! But! I wouldn't have won if I didn't mean to kill him!"
"You absolute—!"
"It's true! At maximum output, he's actually faster than Katori-sensei in a few areas..."
I realized I'd let the truth slip a moment too late. Katori-sensei was standing silently behind me.
"Ho? So Saijo has grown that strong? I see. Hey, Saijo, are you awake?"
"O-Osu."
Saijo-kun seemed to have regained consciousness, though he looked dazed, likely from a concussion.
"Join me. Let's take down that Leo bastard together."
"O-Osu! I look forward to working with you!"
Wait, why are they ganging up on me?
"Sensei, I'm also your cute disciple, you know."
This is unfair. And please stop treating me like a raid boss. This feels like bullying.
"You use armored grappling! That's not the swordsmanship I taught you!"
"It just kind of turned out that way! My style is officially Galactic Empire Swordsmanship! I have a black belt!"
My master instructor certificate even has Katori-sensei's name on it.
While we were having this pointless argument, Yuri-chan came running over.
"Saijo-kun!"
"Yuri-san..."
"I'm so sorry! I got drunk and said those awful things! I'm sorry I made you fight that great ape!"
Wow. That's a really mean thing to say.
"Ukiki, uki-!"
I decided to take my frustration out on Katori-sensei by speaking to him in monkey language.
"Gaooooooooooo!"
"Kyain! Pukyuu-pukyuu."
I whimpered and sat on the floor, making my legs tremble as if I were in pain.
I am Kawagon. A self-identified Pomeranian. My legs owie-owie.
"Stop with the crocodile tears!"
Katori-sensei hit me with an Iron Claw.
It hurts! It really hurts!
While the stadium erupted in laughter at the sight of the Iron Claw, Saijo-kun and Yuri-chan were whispering sweet nothings to each other.
"Saijo-kun, please marry me."
"Yuri-san..."
Congrats... Ow! The Iron Claw really hurts!
Amidst my suffering, Saijo-kun and Yuri-chan confirmed their love for one another.
Rikochi!
Do you see this?! This is exactly what you're missing!