I was dragged to a Hot Spring District at the crack of dawn, all thanks to a supposedly foolproof plan by Serious-senpai—who, as usual, had appeared out of nowhere.
The Hot Spring District, which she’d apparently commissioned from some Yabai God she knew, was exactly what I imagined such a place should look like. The scenery had a distinctly traditional feel that reminded me of Japan, and it was actually quite pleasant.
I wanted to ask her what happened to her plan of "actively seeking out serious situations," because she showed absolutely no intention of doing so. Instead, we spent the morning simply sightseeing like ordinary tourists.
We visited a shop specializing in dried fish, where we grilled our purchases over a Shichirin provided outside and ate them right there. We also spent time at a retro-style game center—or perhaps "amusement corner" was a better term—and enjoyed a variety of other activities.
As always, Serious-senpai was a whirlwind of erratic moods. One moment she was spouting total nonsense, and the next she was making surprisingly cogent points. She was certainly never boring, and despite the constant noise, wandering around with her was actually pretty fun.
If I had to name one problem, it was that the shop staff all behaved like animated mannequins. They could respond and interact, but the way they moved gave me the eerie sensation that I had stumbled into a very strange world.
It felt as though the Yabai God had built the Hot Spring District exactly as requested but hadn't made any promises regarding the staff, so they just lazily threw in some mannequins without bothering with the fine details.
Regardless, after our enjoyable tour, we eventually arrived at a Hot Spring Inn. It was a rustic, refined establishment with a retro atmosphere—not a massive hotel, but something nestled comfortably between a guest house and a traditional inn. It had a wonderful vibe.
From the window of our room, I could see the entire Hot Spring District stretching out below. The Japanese-style room, with its slightly aged Tatami, felt elegant and provided a perfect atmosphere for relaxing.
We were served a delicious meal centered around fresh Sashimi, and after resting for a bit following the feast, it was finally time for the main event: the Hot Spring itself.
"Wh-What?! A... A digest straight after a monologue?! And you've finally dropped the excuses and the pretenses and just jumped straight into April Fools' Day Day 2?!"
"Eh? What’s with you all of a sudden?"
"T-Time is being blown away! You're skipping the entire process and... and just arriving at the result of entering the Hot Spring! H-How could this be possible?!"
"Uh, time isn't skipping at all..."
She had started saying weird things again.
"This is a deeply malicious turn of events, Kaito! My perfect plan to spend ages touring the Hot Spring District has been utterly dismantled!"
"...But we did tour it, didn't we? We spent plenty of time there, from morning until evening."
"Yes! We toured it, and it was fun! But in terms of the narrative description, time just vanished!"
"...Should we just head to the Hot Spring?"
"You've decided to just ignore me?!"
I mean, if I let this conversation continue, she would just keep rambling about things I didn't understand. Operating on my standard policy of filtering out 70% of what Serious-senpai says, I decided to move things along to the bath.
Serious-senpai grumbled and complained, but she got ready and followed me anyway. It seemed that forcing the issue was the most effective tactic.
And so, following the signs, we reached the bath...
'Mixed Bathing Only'
The sign was there, written in massive, unmistakable letters.
"T-To think you'd activate the Mixed Bathing King's innate skill, Absolute Mixed Bathing, in a place like this... Kugh!"
"N-No, I have absolutely nothing to do with this sign. Also, who's the 'Mixed Bathing King,' and what's with this 'innate skill'? I'm going to hit you with my Toy Hammer again if you keep this up."
"Kugh, to think you had such a method for using that skill... Fine. I'll admit defeat this time. Come on, let's go!"
"...Huh? Wait, hey!"
Muttering as if she’d reached some private epiphany, Serious-senpai grabbed my hand and yanked me through the noren curtain. Hey, hold on! I'm the one who hasn't processed the situation yet!
"Wait a minute, Senpai!"
"Yes?"
"The situation! I don't know how this happened or what kind of logic you're using, but... unless I'm imagining things, aren't we about to share a bath?!"
"Well, yeah?"
"Eeeh..."
Why was she giving me a look that said, "What is this guy talking about?" Is it me? Am I the one who's acting weird? ...No, that's not it. No matter how I look at it, Serious-senpai is the one who's broken. I can say that with absolute certainty.
She had affirmed it so casually that I froze, unable to find the words to follow up. Serious-senpai then took on an expression as if she had suddenly realized something... though, knowing her, she probably hadn't realized anything at all.
"...I see how it is."
"No, you don't."
"I haven't even said anything yet! ...Hmph, I understand your line of thinking. Even the great Mixed Bathing King would feel a bit bashful when faced with a beauty like me and my dynamite body!"
"...Dyna... uh... r-right. Exactly."
"Can you stop agreeing just to be polite? It actually hurts more! I'd rather you just snap back and tell me I have almost no curves!!"
Well, as for the "beauty" part... she probably fell more into the "beautiful girl" category, but I could see what she meant. If we were talking strictly about looks, she was a beautiful girl. Strictly based on her appearance... ignoring her personality... strictly based on looks, she was technically a beautiful girl.
"...Were you just thinking something incredibly rude?"
"..."
"...At least deny it!"
I decided to set aside the term "dynamite body," which sounded like a relic from decades ago even if I could guess the meaning.
"Anyway, are you really okay with sharing a Mixed Bathing session with me, Serious-senpai?"
"Eh? I don't have a problem with it at all. Why are you asking?"
"Eeeh..."
Seriously, why was I the one being looked at as if I were the one asking strange questions? It was completely unreasonable.
Machina: "In order to share a Mixed Bathing session with Serious-senpai, you usually need an affection level of 96 or higher. In the case of My Beloved Child, Serious-senpai's affection level for him is 5,000 Trillion, so it's not an issue at all."