The opening ceremony had it all—fireworks, drones, dancers performing in the streets...
I joined in, dancing my heart out in full cosplay as Space Kaiju Kawagon.
"Imo-imo-mo!"
"Kawagon... the festival..."
As I walked through the row of festival stalls, Lou-chan came running up and hugged my legs.
"There we go."
I scooped Lou-chan up into my arms, and we began to wander the grounds together. We ran into some of her school friends along the way, so I ended up leading a small parade of children through the stalls.
"Nuhahahaha! We have plenty of gold! Let us buy the most mindless things we can find!"
We ended up with glowing headbands, rainbow-colored cotton candy, and all sorts of other nonsense.
"Kawagon! Can I try the shooting gallery?"
The prizes at the stall Lou-chan pointed to were a disaster: glowing skeleton keychains, cheap lighters, and baseball player figurines that looked absolutely nothing like the people they were supposed to represent. I wouldn't have wanted any of it even if someone paid me.
It was a shooting gallery filled with prizes that no one could possibly want from the bottom of their heart. The children were winning them, sure, but I had a feeling their parents would be scolding them for bringing home such junk later.
I leaned over and spoke to the man running the booth.
"Let these kids play as much as they want. I'll cover it."
"Y-Your Majesty!"
I leaned in closer and whispered in his ear.
"Don't run such a penny-ante operation. Give them some proper sweets. I’ll have some brought over right now."
"Y-Yes, sir!"
Look, I get it—getting ripped off at a festival stall is a rite of passage. But this was just going too far. It was pathetic.
I immediately contacted the Kamishiro Group.
"We will dispatch a team with supplies immediately," they replied.
I didn't mind stalls selling silly novelties, but I wouldn't stand for anything that dragged down the reputation of the event itself. A moment later, the Kamishiro Group contacted me again. I wondered if there was a problem.
"The event company in charge of this sector was the Pirate Guild, sir."
"Ah. Right. I’ll handle it."
I opened a line to the Pirate Guild.
"You bastards! What kind of cheap-ass business do you think you're running?! Are you trying to make me lose face?!"
A short while later, the Kamishiro Group Supply Unit arrived, and the stalls received a massive upgrade. It didn't have to be high-end merchandise, after all. We had mountains of products just gathering dust in our warehouses.
There were wall clocks with questionable designs, jigsaw puzzles featuring caricatures of me and the other world leaders, and weird anime merchandise from projects that had flopped because they were "too educational." We even had leftovers from "Refreshing Officer Academy," a Galactic Empire moral program that we’d overproduced to a ridiculous degree.
Add to that a massive haul of snacks, and we had plenty to give away. We treated it like a promotional event and started distributing the goods everywhere.
Phew.
Eventually, Lou-chan's Mama arrived, and I handed the little one back to her.
Next on the schedule was the baseball game. I headed up to the VIP Seats to do my duty as king. Wifey was already there, looking regal as ever. Shiyun, however, had been quarantined in a separate section of the VIP Seats specifically for the duration of the game. I’d assigned Tatiana and One-oh-one to act as her "stoppers."
"It is a match between the Latarnia representatives and the Taikyoku Nation," Wifey noted.
The Taikyoku Nation Support Song was so loud it echoed all the way up to our booth. They were dead serious about this. Absolutely terrifyingly serious.
In comparison, the Latarnia side was much more subdued. For them, baseball was still an amateur sport, though word was that several of their players had already been scouted by the Taikyoku Nation leagues. In a few years, Latarnia would likely have a professional league of its own.
I heard Isono was watching the broadcast at home with his wife. I never realized how anxious I’d feel without my right-hand man by my side.
Meanwhile, the pro-wrestling event held earlier that morning had been a massive success, playing to a sold-out crowd. We’d even had to set up standing-only seats at the last minute. Apparently, they planned to hold matches every single day of the festival.
They were far too good at business... but then again, Master Tank and Master Zaurus were currently teaching courses on promotion and event management at the Faculty of Economics of Chronos University. I’d heard their lectures were packed every single time. It was impressive.
Tomorrow was a scheduled break for the main athletes, filled with comedy events instead. They were planning a "Health Sandal Deathmatch." The wrestlers had to wear those knobby health sandals during the match, and it was a foul if they ever came off.
...I really wanted to see that.
But for now, it was baseball.
"Chen! Get 'em! Crush 'em!"
I could hear Shiyun’s muffled screams from the other booth. The support song surged in volume immediately after. She was way too into this.
Then again, the Taikyoku Nation People seemed to genuinely love making a ruckus. They were usually a quiet, reserved bunch, but they were the type to absolutely explode during festivals. That was why they got along so well with us Galactic Empire People and the Chronosians.
A sharp crack of the bat echoed through the stadium.
"Hell yeah! That's a point!"
"S-Shiyun! Don't lean out so far!"
"You're going to fall, sir-yessir!"
The booth was enclosed in reinforced glass, so she wasn't actually going to fall, but seeing her hang halfway out of the window was still a stressful sight.
The drums beat a heavy rhythm. Suddenly, the Latarnia side hit a home run of their own. It looked like some power-hitters were finally starting to emerge. The speed at which the game was evolving was truly staggering.
As I was lost in thought, a different kind of scream erupted from the Taikyoku Nation section.
"Gyaaaaaaaah!"
"Shiyun! Put that sword away!"
"Cease and desist, sir-yessir!"
I felt for those two. Forgive your weak big brother, Tatiana, One-oh-one... but even I can't stop Shiyun when she's like this.
"I’m going to go check on the Rosaria Empire's practice," I muttered.
"I shall accompany you," Wifey said.
As a couple, we chose the path of cowards and fled the scene.
The Rosaria Empire team was practicing at a nearby municipal baseball stadium, a facility usually reserved for student matches. To make sure they didn't embarrass themselves on the world stage, Nakajima and a former professional player were acting as their coaches.
Even though it was called a "friendly match," it went against our morals to simply crush a newcomer and gloat about it. Galactic Empire People were notoriously picky about sportsmanship. On the other hand, intentionally holding back was a violation of Bushido.
Galactic Empire People were so high-maintenance!
Consequently, the Rosaria team was practicing until the very last possible second. The goal was to at least get them to a level where a proper game could be played.
"Do your best!" Charlotte cheered from the sidelines.
"I wish every day could be like this," I said, leaning against the fence. "Don't you think, Wifey? Latarnia has been perfectly peaceful since we took care of the leadership in Lepsitol and Parcion."
Wifey looked at me with an expression of pure, unadulterated exasperation.
"What?"
"I am starting to feel a profound pity for the King of Latarnia."
"Eh? Why?"
"Listen to me, Lord Groom. From Latarnia's perspective, they have done nothing but accumulate a mountain of debt to you. One day, that debt must be repaid. Because you are fundamentally a good person who respects contracts and desires fair trade, they find you far more difficult to handle than a vulgar, predictable tyrant."
"Are you saying I should be a bit more corrupt?"
"The problem is that you cannot be corrupt. You are a wise king who even went so far as to provide relief for the Proone. If you would at least take Polina as a wife, they would likely be able to breathe a sigh of relief."
"Wait... am I really making them that anxious?"
"Indeed. They are likely several times more anxious about you than they are about the Ghouls. Having an exceptionally brilliant neighbor with no apparent ambition is ideal in theory... but when that neighbor is this exceptional, it breeds a very specific kind of terror."
Give me a break. I was just trying to be a public servant...