I desperately wanted to avert my eyes from the looming reality of the parade car sitting before me, but I knew that escaping into denial wouldn't do me any favors.
"Alice, please, I’m begging you—ride with me. You can handle the driving with a split body or something, right? Since they’ve already gone through the trouble of preparing this, I've given up on trying to get to the venue any other way. Just... please don't leave me alone up there."
"Well, I guess it can't be helped."
Had I realized what was happening sooner, I might have stood my ground, but everything was already set in stone. Everyone was already waiting for me at the venue, so there was no point in grumbling now.
While I had resigned myself to traveling via this parade car, the sheer anxiety of being perched on top of it alone was more than I could bear, so I convinced Alice to stay with me.
Alice gave a wry smile and immediately agreed. The two of us climbed onto the float, and Alice's split body began to steer the parade car forward.
"By the way, Alice... why a parade?"
"It all started when Blossom-san suggested that if 'Master' was the star of the show, they should welcome him with a 'Daimyo Procession,' that otherworld tradition she’d heard rumors about. Her proposal was based on pretty patchy knowledge of your world, of course, but surprisingly, the others took a liking to it. Machina has quite a lot of pull, and she chimed in, saying that while she wasn't sure about the procession part, they should definitely have a parade to welcome her 'Beloved Child.' The idea just snowballed from there."
"Oh boy..."
Since the city was still a fair distance away, I asked Alice for more details while we traveled. Apparently, the top-tier individuals like Shiro-san and Machina-san handled the broad strokes of the plan first, and after that, they sought opinions from my other acquaintances to finalize the preparations.
"Well, in this regard, the situation was just unfortunate for you, Kaito-san. Most of your friends understand that you dislike standing out or being worshipped by the public... but since this is a custom-built world and there's no need to worry about being seen by ordinary citizens, many people's judgment became a bit lax. They figured it would be fine since only your acquaintances are here."
"W-Well, certainly, if they said they were doing this in the capital of Symphonia, I would have fled for my life. It’s true that knowing there aren't any total strangers around makes it slightly easier on my nerves. But even so, it's still incredibly embarrassing..."
"Naturally, there were people who understood your feelings correctly. Kuro-san and her group were actually quite hesitant about the idea. But as for Kuro-san herself... well, since she had been so pushy about the Baby Castellas during the catering discussions, it seems she didn't feel like she had the right to veto everyone else's ideas."
I suppose they couldn't adopt every single person's suggestion, so there must have been some give-and-take regarding whose opinions to incorporate and whose to discard. And since Kuro got her way with the Baby Castellas, she ended up in a position where she couldn't strongly deny the other proposals. That definitely sounded like something Kuro would do.
"By the way, Alice, what's that building located away from the city? It’s as big as a castle."
"Ah, that... is a 'House of Curses' officially known as the 'My Beloved Child Museum'."
"I knew exactly who made it the moment I heard the name."
"It's a terrifying place. It’s a minute-by-minute record of every day you’ve spent in this world, complete with photos and videos. If you were to go through it at a normal walking pace, it would take you at least five hundred years to reach the exit."
"Why does a record of my life from birth until now take longer to watch than the life I've actually lived?"
Since space-time magic could easily handle size issues, the interior was probably incomparably larger than it looked from the outside. If Machina-san made it, I could accept that much... but even if every second of my life was captured, five hundred years was absurd.
"Well, you see, it’s not just photos and videos. The walls are packed with Machina's exhaustive commentary."
"That is incredibly convincing... yet I feel nothing but terror."
"It's truly something. Even if you walk about a kilometer after entering, you're still reading explanations for the first minute of your life, alongside page after page of her obsessive affection for you. If a normal person entered, their mind would snap instantly. Lasting a few days would be a miracle. As you know, Machina's love borders on madness, and she’s put every drop of it into text."
"I really wish she wouldn't turn buildings related to me into psychological hazards..."
"Well, she was perfectly serious when she made it. She was actually quite well-behaved while she was busy working on it, so everyone else just turned a blind eye. Though, once it was finished, she did plot a mass slaughter by saying, 'Since everyone involved with My Beloved Child should see this, let's make it mandatory viewing for all guests!', so I had to step in and stop that."
I wish she had stopped her at the construction stage, but then again... knowing it's Machina-san, I found myself simply sighing and accepting it as her usual brand of over-the-top behavior.
"By the way, a few people did take a look inside. Kuro-san said things like, 'My head starts to hurt just reading this,' and Shiro-san complained that the Earth God's comments were a nuisance and that it should only feature your photos and videos."
"I can practically see that scene in my head. Well, I understand now that it's a terrifying facility. It's probably a place that no one but Machina-san could possibly appreciate."
"Actually, there was one person. There was a single guest who went through the entire thing, read every comment, and understood it perfectly."
"Eh? Who?"
To read through five hundred years' worth of Machina-san's obsessive writing and finish the tour... they sounded like an incredible powerhouse. Who could it be?
"It was Canalis-san."
"What? Canalis-san did!?"
"Yeah. Even after finishing the tour, she acted perfectly normal. She just said, 'Goodness, there were a few points where our interpretations differed, but seeing Kaito-sama from another's perspective was quite refreshing. I found it very informative.' This is just my intuition talking, but... because she's fundamentally a sensible person, it’s hard to tell, but I suspect the sheer scale of the feelings she has for you rivals Machina’s."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. However, unlike Machina, she is a proper adult, so she won't run off and do anything eccentric. You can rest easy on that front."
I had never felt that way about her, so it was a bit of a shock. However, as Alice said, Canalis-san is basically a very rational person. Unlike Machina-san, there was no worry of her causing a scene, so it didn't seem like something I needed to dwell on.
Machina: "That's exactly right! Canalis is someone who truly understands!! Of course, we aren't perfectly aligned; as she mentioned, we have some differences in interpretation. I have very strong maternal feelings for my Beloved Child and focus on his cuteness, but Canalis views him as a heroic figure she admires and focuses on his coolness. While we prioritize different traits, both his cute side and his cool side are essential parts of who he is. We have so much in common that we've spent hours gushing over our 'Discourse on My Beloved Child'!"
Serious-senpai: "You used to call her the Bipolar God, but now you're using her name? You two must have gotten close. Now that I think about it, Canalis is always getting punched by other gods... Maybe it’s like that conversation she had with Electrone. No matter how many times she gets hit, she probably just goes right back to bragging about Nebula or Kaito to any god who will listen."