The Parcion Army was in a state of total chaos.
"I'm giving you a live broadcast from the AI spider drones I sent in to kill some time!" Fairy announced.
"You moron! What do you mean that piece of trash General Secretary ran away?!"
The one shouting was likely a high-ranking civil official—or perhaps a top-tier bureaucrat.
"I don't know either, Big Bro! That bastard! He got so scared of the King of Chronos that he tucked tail and fled!"
...Well, that was a bizarre translation.
I wondered if real-time voice conversion was just too much for an AI spider drone with low processing power.
Filter: Latarnia Language.
"Is it a matter of the so-called National Chairman being a runaway?"
"In the sphere where I, a so-called individual, possess thoughts, the National Chairman was intimidated by the authority of the King of Chronos and proceeded from a runaway to a faraway."
I don't understand a word of this!
She was definitely messing with the translation on purpose so I wouldn't get it.
"Ugh, fine. Fairy, switch to Galactic Empire Language!"
"Ho-ho-ho, Maro is..."
Rejected.
"Give me something I can actually understand! Or I'll kill you."
Filter: Chronos Language.
Picking up from where they left off:
"Big Bro! What the hell are we supposed to do now?!"
"Sabu, if it’s come to this, we’ve got no choice but to surrender to Chronos."
This was a mess.
Fairy was assigning random names to the speakers, making it impossible to follow the actual conversation.
"B-but Big Bro! If we surrender to Chronos, what are we gonna tell the Zen God Race Association?!"
"Who cares about those useless bums! I’m pulling our outfit out of the deal!"
...Wait. They were actually starting to blab about the important stuff.
"Yeah! We're gonna settle things with Chronos!"
I wasn't sure if "settle things" meant peace or something else.
"But Boss!"
"Listen to me! Chronos has already started building that mobile fortress. If they finish something like that, our capital planet will be wiped off the map!"
Wait, what?
"Look, Sabu. 'Super-dreadnought' refers to the main cannon, you get it? It’s a weapon designed to annihilate entire planets. Chronos has that kind of technology! This isn't just some missile barrage from Latarnia; it’s a weapon that'll change the face of war in this galaxy. A total game-changer."
Was it really?
I'm pretty sure I just wrote "Hyper Death Blaster" on the side as a joke.
"I-if they fire something like that... we'll all be slaughtered..."
"That's why we're gonna surrender and become his underlings!"
"B-but the Boss—the General Secretary—is gone!"
"Exactly! That's why we're gonna pin every single bit of responsibility on him while we still can! Everything is his fault! You got that?!"
"B-Big Bro! I hear ya!"
...Oof.
As Kawagon, I really didn't know what to do anymore.
I forwarded the results to Claire and Fairy, then went to bed in a huff.
I was sleeping with Kinako-chan when I was rudely slapped awake.
"Big Bro, get up!"
The most violent one had arrived.
It was Tatiana. She was repeatedly slapping my face.
"Yeah, yeah... I'm up."
"Kinako-chan, I'm borrowing Big Bro for a bit."
"Nya-n♪"
Kinako was always soft on Tatiana. She probably thought of her as a younger sister.
"Alright, let's go, Big Bro."
"Fiiiine."
I stepped into my sandals and shuffled toward the dining hall.
The usual group of executives was already there.
"Yo, Leo. Just like you predicted, Parcion has surrendered," someone said.
"Did they claim it was all the General Secretary's fault?"
"Yeah. They asked for forgiveness because they 'kicked out the Evil General Secretary.'"
"So weak! Don't they have any pride as a major power?!"
Wifey, holding a teacup, answered with her usual calm.
"Discarding pride to seize profit. Sacrificing the head of state like a lizard's tail to save the body. That is no small feat. They truly are a major power with a long history; it seems they have many tongues. Lord Groom, you should follow—no, on second thought, you do not need to follow their example. It would be quite a problem if you became even more of a monster than you already are."
What was that supposed to mean?!
"Governing through a farce is a talent in itself!" she added.
"But they said nasty things about you, Wifey..."
I still held a grudge over that "slut" comment they directed at my beloved wife. I had no intention of letting that slide.
"You should be satisfied with the General Secretary's head. Besides, I am not particularly angry."
"Why not?"
"It matters little what those so far beneath me scream about."
I suppose that made sense. But still...
Honestly, I had a feeling Parcion-kun would be the type of nation that was more of a headache after being conquered than before.
Parcion-kun was a country that had a General Secretary, a President, and a Prime Minister all at once. It was fundamentally a dictatorship where the national economy functioned on a rationing system. Production was a planned economy, and Lepsitol had served as their primary business outlet.
Naturally, they had no concept of human rights. They churned out goods while completely ignoring the reality of state-sponsored exploitation. Lepsitol, a corporate nation practicing a rogue-style of capitalism, had fueled that fire to the extreme.
In the end, these two had risen to become major powers, but they collapsed the moment I gave them a little shove, mostly due to Lepsitol's bad debt issues and the heavy price of Parcion's dictatorship.
...That’s how it happened.
The countdown to their destruction had been ticking for decades, but they had been shuffling along like zombies. I was just the catalyst. It wasn't my fault. They fell because they were destined to fall.
Ultimately, it turns out that Capitalism Orthodox Style really is the most robust economic model. Those two countries were just trying to play too much "Strong Style."
The real problem was that while Lepsitol-kun was easy—the citizens were happy just to have a government that actually worked—Parcion-kun was different. There, the administration held your hand from the cradle to the grave, even if you were considered disposable. Those citizens weren't going to be able to handle capitalism overnight.
Of course, I could just exploit them and leave them to rot, but then they'd just turn into pirates. The thought of an entire national army becoming pirates was terrifying.
I mean, seriously, on paper, Parcion-kun was a massive empire. The sheer number of planets they had conquered was staggering.
As I sat there with a grimace, Wifey gave me a knowing smile. What was that look for?
"Did you notice, Lord Groom?"
"Notice what?"
"As of today, you have secured a sphere of influence wider than that of the Galactic Empire."
At that moment, my accumulated stress finally broke the scale.
My blood pressure spiked instantly, and blood sprayed from my nose with a wet thwip.
"M-Master! Here, blow!"
Ren rushed over to wipe it for me, and I blew my nose.
"I... my hands are shaking because I'm so scared..." I managed to wheeze.
"Hahahaha! It is terrifying, is it not? That is the perspective of an Emperor."
"Wait, stop it with the imperial talk! Please! I really won't be able to quit being a King at this rate! Just let me stay as Wifey's Groom!"
"Hahahaha! Suffer! Agonize!"
"No! I don't want to be an Emperor!"
My desperate scream of refusal echoed through the galaxy.
And so, without having to fight a single real battle, I swallowed two major powers and ascended to become the Galactic Overlord...