Winter was drawing to a close.
That meant the potato planting season had finally arrived. To be precise, they were a type of solanaceous tuber eaten by Chronosians, but they looked almost exactly like the potatoes I knew. I wasn't about to sweat the small stuff.
I started planting the sprouted tubers. Claire had forbidden me from doing bag cultivation in the palace woods, but in exchange, I had been granted an official field of my own—a vacant lot situated near the palace.
During the winter, I had spent my time concocting a mix of Chronos lactic acid bacteria, yeast, Bacillus subtilis (effectively natto bacteria), and various soil microbes. It wasn't as complicated as it sounded. I simply took a soil bacteria mix purchased from a local agricultural supplier and added some Claire-brand compost bacteria meant for waste disposal, then sprinkled it over the field. After that, I scattered a mixture of vegetable scraps, rice husks, and straw before covering the whole mess with soil.
You had to be careful with the proportions; if you got them wrong, the mixture would produce gas and a truly horrific stench. If I was adding a large volume of waste, I made sure to chop it finely and drain the moisture beforehand. Then, I just left it alone until winter ended.
When spring came, I plowed it all under. By then, the waste had decomposed completely. As long as there was no foul odor, things were usually on the right track. If it did stink, I’d just sprinkle more bacteria, give it a good stir, and wait. Ultimately, I made the final call using a soil analysis sensor.
Everything checked out, so I plowed the land using a piece of farm machinery I’d bought with my own pocket money. Once that was done, I planted the sprouted tubers, laid down some mulch film, and called it a day.
For some reason, my classmates who were off duty had shown up to help. We all worked together, decked out in our Officer Academy tracksuits. We’d have a mountain of laundry to deal with once we finished.
Lou-chan's Mama was there as well, broadcasting the scene live. Apparently, we were being featured in the "heartwarming news" slot.
"Grow big and tasty, little potatoes!" Lou-chan cheered with a bright smile.
One-oh-one was helping out with a grin as well, but the most reliable one in these situations was Suematsu-san. He and Eddy moved with such practiced efficiency that the work was finished in no time.
I sighed contentedly. If only we could keep ignoring Parcion like this and live a peaceful life...
But as soon as I returned to the palace, Rikochi came to find me. Her name had recently changed from Riko Sakazaki to Riko Kamishiro Chronos. It seemed she had no interest in domestic politics and had already passed the headship of the Sakazaki main house to her father. She claimed that a child born between us could inherit it later, or if that didn't happen, a relative could take over.
Rikochi was pushing a cart piled high with documents.
"Did something happen?" I asked.
"Leo-kun, listen..."
I didn't like the sound of that. My "trouble" sensors were redlining.
"The 'male daughter' culture from Lepsitol flowed into Parcion, and..."
"Huh?"
"And cross-dressing became a huge trend along with it."
"What!?"
"Now, a youth group demanding the 'freedom of clothing' has started a democratization protest and clashed with the military!"
"Whaaaaaaaaat?! Wait, wait, hold on a second!"
I immediately summoned Lou-chan's Mama. And Wifey, too.
Wifey arrived still wearing her tracksuit, though she’d set aside her straw hat. She tilted her head in confusion. "What is all this fuss about?"
"It’s a disaster!"
An emergency measures meeting was called immediately. Before heading in, I hurried to the shower for a military-style wash. It was a skill hammered into us at the academy, right along with how to iron a uniform perfectly. It involved washing your body with minimal soap and maximum speed—the classic "crow's dip."
I stuffed my dirty clothes into the laundry box and asked a court lady to handle the wash. The other guys from my class were doing the same, scrubbing down in record time.
"Uwaah! My hair is going to be like straw!" the girls wailed, their screams echoing through the floor.
It couldn't be helped. If they wanted someone to blame, they could blame Saijo-kun... though shifting the responsibility like that felt a bit beneath me as an adult. I decided I’d better order some high-end Latarnia hair treatment for the girls as a peace offering.
I put the order in immediately.
The culprit himself, Saijo-kun, looked ridiculous. His long hair was standing straight up like a delinquent from an old manga or someone consumed by a legendary rage. I didn't have the heart to tease him. He looked like he was going through enough.
"Alright, let's move out."
Those who had finished changing into their uniforms headed for the conference room. Lou-chan's Mama was likely already there, organizing the briefing materials.
Inside the room, the girls were frantically drying their hair with portable dryers. Yuri-chan was busy trying to fix Saijo-kun's hair, which was still defying the laws of gravity. Suddenly, a squad of court ladies marched in, moving with terrifying speed as they began applying makeup to the girls right there at the table.
"You’re doing it in here?" I asked.
"This is an emergency, Your Majesty," one of them replied without missing a beat.
The girls who hadn't made it to the room yet were apparently doing their makeup in the shower area. Once the preparations were finally finished, Lou-chan's Mama stepped forward. Her makeup was flawless. She looked every bit the high-powered professional. Even Claire looked exhausted by comparison.
Lou-chan's Mama began the briefing. Some might view the close relationship between the government and the media as suspicious, but in times like this, cooperation was essential. The power balance was so delicate that a single misstep could lead to the destruction of the nation.
"Our agency has received the first reports," Lou-chan's Mama explained. "Student groups and government forces have clashed in Parcion. The resistance movement is currently spreading across the entire country."
"Good grief," I muttered.
Next, Isono took the podium. "The freedom of clothing was just the spark. Parcion effectively lost the ability to sustain a war the moment Chronos took Lepsitol. The true cause of this uprising is the announcement of the military conscription of students. It’s basically what happened to us during the Zork War. The difference is that this was caused by the sheer incompetence of their leadership."
"I see."
It made sense. As academy students, we fought because it was our job and we had the training for it. Even Tatiana was a volunteer. While I had complicated feelings about the death of the original version of myself, I accepted it as part of the life we chose. That’s just the nature of the profession.
But you couldn't just drag regular students off the street and expect them to fight. It might have worked if the government had the public's support, but Chronos actually had a decent reputation abroad. Plus, their enemy was a king who was a member of a warrior race and was literally called "Big Brother" by the Ogre God Nation. They probably lost their will to fight before the war even started.
Unless we were a bunch of bloodthirsty barbarians, there was no reason for them to sacrifice themselves. If we were as impossible to talk to as the Zork were before One-oh-one took over, they’d fight because the alternative was extinction. But we were communicative enough to negotiate with a place like Latarnia. It was only natural for the students to think, 'Why don't you idiots just negotiate instead of making us die?'
In fact, the heart of the riot was the university students. Thank God for our "cheerful" civilization.
Reflecting on it now... this transition only worked because it was me and Wifey in charge. If the gate had opened during Maro's era, even if they had somehow survived the Ogre God Nation, the Proone, or Latarnia, the Ghouls would have finished them off. We really had escaped total destruction by the skin of our teeth.
"For now, let’s try to establish contact with the student groups," I said. "Is that okay with you, Wifey?"
"Umu. If the Lord Groom deems it so, I believe it is the best path forward," she replied regally.
I sighed. It looked like I’d have to leave the care of my potatoes to the palace gardeners. It was a depressing thought.