As the trailers faded out, the movie finally began.
"It’s finally starting, Ryouta!"
"A-Ah, yeah."
To be honest, I was also looking forward to seeing how the battle anime Breast-Kyun would play out on the big screen. Apparently, the movie covered a story from the original light novel, but I had intentionally avoided reading it so I could go in completely fresh.
I was excited, but I had to make sure my lower body didn't react, no matter how suggestive things got. Or so I thought, but it wasn't long after the opening credits that the screen was flooded with incredibly lewd scenes.
"Urgh... What do you intend to do with me after tying me up like this!?"
"Heh heh. Isn't it obvious? I’ll just have to squeeze every bit of energy out of those massive breasts of yours!"
"Nn... ngh! Ah, s-stop it...!"
Azabu Milk, a popular character and a busty beauty boasting a 110cm bust, was tied to a pillar by a female enemy executive in the heat of battle. As if being tortured, her breasts were being ruthlessly fondled.
Milk’s breasts were truly incredible. Then, in an attempt to repel the female executive, Milk’s weapon—her milk—splashed toward the screen. Since it was a 4D screening, a merciless spray of water slapped me right in the face.
Using 4D for something like this was vulgar in a way... but I couldn't say I hated it.
After that, every time Milk’s milk splashed, water hit my face. Every time the characters' sweat flew, water hit my face. Furthermore, every time various "other things" splashed from different places, water hit my face again... Wait, hang on. There was an awful lot of splashing for a 4D experience.
From beginning to end, all I could hear were moans, and the film consisted of nothing but erotic scenes. It was, in short, a truly spectacular movie.
☆☆
When the movie ended, a strange lingering feeling remained in the theater.
I had expected nothing but fanservice, but the story was actually impressive. It dealt with deep themes, such as why the heroines fought with their breasts and the reasons they became so busty in the first place. I was forced to realize that they weren't just rubbing their chests together for no reason.
Also, after being shown so many massive breasts, my brain was starting to short-circuit. I’d reached a point where I was genuinely wondering why Ichinose, sitting right there beside me, was even wearing clothes.
"Man, that was seriously the best! The reason why Milk-tan became so busty, and that amazing bit of foreshadowing for how her milk became a weapon... it was so moving I could actually cry!"
"O-Oh... yeah..."
Ichinose stood up immediately to get her things ready, but I couldn't move.
"Hmm? What’s wrong, Ryouta? Why have you been hunching over for a while now?"
"Ah, well... the 4D was just so intense that it knocked the wind out of me. My legs are like jelly."
There was no way I could honestly tell her that I had a massive erection.
I couldn't let Ichinose see my "Warped Wall" like this. If she caught a glimpse, I wouldn't be a contender for Ninja Warrior—I'd just be a total pervert.
"Do you mind if I head to the restroom for a bit?"
"Sure, sure. I’ll wait for you right here then."
I managed to deceive her and headed straight for the restroom. How pathetic, getting worked up like this over an ecchi anime. I waited for the excitement to die down and returned only after I had regained my composure.
Wait, Ichinose...!
When I got back from the restroom, I saw two loner-type guys standing around Ichinose, talking to her. Could it be... were they hitting on her? This was bad. I shouldn't have left her alone.
Of course, if a gyaru as cute as Ichinose—with those erotic thighs—was standing by herself, otakus would flock to her like beetles to sap. If I didn't do anything, it might turn into one of those disgusting NTR developments I hated with a passion. I had to stop that at all costs.
In a stereotypical rom-com situation like this, the only way out was to barge in acting like her boyfriend and save her.
No time for second-guessing. Even if I was a loner otaku, as a man, I had to save Ichinose. I steeled my resolve and went to rescue her from the two guys.
"Ah, Ryouta! Look—"
"H-Hey! She’s with me! What do you want!?"
I cut in between the guys and Ichinose and barked at them.
"Ah, I see. You're quite fortunate to have such a lovely girlfriend."
"In that case, we shouldn't intrude. We shall take our leave with grace."
"Eh? Ah, okay."
I thought there would be a confrontation, but it was resolved surprisingly easily as the two guys left the theater. More importantly, I turned to Ichinose.
"A-Are you okay, Ichinose!? They didn't... like, lick your thighs or anything, did they?"
"As if they’d do that! Sigh, sorry, Ryouta. Looks like I caused a misunderstanding."
"Misunderstanding?"
"I was just trading theater bonuses with them. That guy was wearing a moe T-shirt of the red-haired heroine, Ryoko-tan, but he had a Milk-tan illustration board, so I asked him if he wanted to trade."
Ichinose explained while showing me the Azabu Milk illustration board she had just received.
"Eh, ah... I-I see..."
It was a total misunderstanding. I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.
"Didn't you just say 'She’s with me,' Ryouta?"
"F-Forget that, Ichinose! I honestly thought those guys were busy licking your thighs all over!"
"Seriously, what is with your obsession with my thighs!? Well, whatever. You were trying to protect me, right?"
"I mean, I guess..."
"If you're going to call me 'your girl,' even if it was a lie, you’d better escort me properly for the rest of the day, okay?"
With that, Ichinose flicked the tip of my nose with her manicured nail.
Oh no... I might need to head back to the restroom again.