"All right, everyone! Now that all the ingredients are in, let’s have a reveal session before we pop the lid!"
With Airi acting as our master of ceremonies, the final secret ingredients were added to the dark hot pot. As we all opened our eyes, a... unique aroma began to drift through the air.
The lid was still on, so we couldn't see the carnage inside yet, but there was no question about it: this was going to be a disaster.
"Ugh, seriously, it stinks," Yuria muttered, pinching her nose and speaking with a nasal twang.
"I bet Ryouta-kun dumped some suspicious liquid in there, didn't he?" Tanaka accused.
"Why is it always my fault?! You’re the one who usually pulls that crap, Tanaka! It was you, wasn't it?!"
"How can you say that?! That’s just pure prejudice!"
Tanaka immediately pivoted into a "victimized innocent" act. I wasn't being prejudiced; I was just throwing her own logic back at her.
"Now, now! Before we open it, let's confirm what everyone brought. Ryouta, you first!"
"O-Oh, sure."
Since Airi called on me first, I stepped up to announce my contribution.
"I put in some shredded kelp. It’s a solid ingredient that tastes good in a normal pot, but I thought it’d add a nice, slimy dark hot pot vibe when it gets tangled up with the other stuff."
"Wow, that’s surprisingly normal for you, Ryouta-kun."
"What do you mean 'normal'? What did you expect me to put in?"
"Well, knowing what a pervert you are, I figured you’d go for something like drinkable lo—n or a massive, thick wiener."
"I wouldn't put that in! And hey, Tanaka, watch your mouth! We have a junior here who doesn't need to hear your dirty jokes!"
Himesaki stood there looking completely blank as she listened to our exchange.
Meanwhile, Yuria was looking away, clearly struggling to hold back her laughter. Airi gave a strained smile as she read the room, and Rui... Rui was just staring at us with a cold, expressionless gaze.
"Um, seniors? By lotion, you mean lubricant, right? Why are you all acting so awkward about it?"
"Ah—no, well, it’s a bit too early for you, Himesaki."
"Exactly! It’s adult talk! If you study hard, you’ll understand eventually, Himesaki-san!"
"Shut up, Tanaka. You go do some solo lotion wrestling in the corner."
"H-How cruel!"
With Tanaka’s hypothetical wrestling match settled, we got back to the reveals.
"Next up is Himesaki-chan!"
"Y-Yes! Um, I put in some Harivo gummies I had at home. I’ve loved them ever since I was abroad, and I still eat them all the time."
"Harivo, huh? You really went out of your way to remind us of your 'returnee' status, didn't you...?"
"It’s not a status, I really am a returnee!"
Himesaki puffed out her cheeks in a calculatedly cute way. Everything about her just screamed "curated personality."
"Okay, my turn!" Airi chirped. "I went to my favorite candy store and got a grab bag of irregular snacks! I dumped the whole thing in, so I’m not even sure what’s in there myself!"
"Are you serious?! Both the sweet and the salty ones?!"
"Yep!"
Don't give me an innocent "yep"! Most of those cheap snacks melt instantly. They’re going to turn into a muddy sludge along with my shredded kelp!
"Then I’m next. I put in condensed milk. I figured everyone else would bring salty stuff, so I decided to go against the grain."
"Whaaa?! Condensed milk? That’s going to make the whole thing sickeningly sweet!"
"Isn't that what makes a dark hot pot fun?"
Yuria gave a typical extrovert’s excuse for her mischief... but I was the only one there who knew the real truth. She’d almost certainly been influenced by the latest episode of Breast-Kyun, specifically the scene where Milk-tan went on a splashing rampage with her "milk" (with deep, meaningful implications).
She’s totally obsessed with that show... This otaku gyaru is out of control.
"And? What about you, Rui?"
"Me? Hehe, it’s a bit embarrassing, actually."
Rui gave a bashful smile and suddenly locked eyes with me. Wait, why me?
"I put in... alphabet macaroni. But I spent time at home picking out only the letters R, Y, O, T, and A to bring with me, Ryouta-kun ♡"
...Eh?
Just the letters for... my name?
"Wait, Ryouta-kun! What did you do to Kuroki-san this time? If you’re being boiled, it means she’s beyond furious."
Tanaka whispered frantically into my ear, her face pale. Even if she said that, I couldn't think of anything I'd done to piss Rui off that much...
Unless... was it when I pointed out that her navel—her best feature—wasn't visible in the selfie she sent me, and I made her take it again? Was she mad because it was a hassle?
Or was it because I’d been so busy during the election that I hadn't been giving her feedback on her daily selfies? I’d just been leaving her on "read" and saving the photos to a private folder like some kind of pervert.
Crap. There were a million reasons why Rui might be mad at me, so I decided to stop thinking about it for my own sanity.
"Well, that leaves me! I put in aojiru! It really captures that dark hot pot essence, don't you think?! Right?!"
"Aojiru... Yeah, that sounds like something you’d do. Sure."
"Why the cold response?!"
Now that the truth was out, it was time to face the music. Airi grabbed a towel and lifted the lid.
The moment she did...
"Ugh... Wh-What is... this smell?!"
Chaos. That was the only word for it. It was a sensory assault of sweet, salty, bitter, and astringent notes all clashing at once.
The broth was a murky, muddy brown. The snacks had likely dissolved or absorbed the liquid, creating a thick, gelatinous sludge that looked like it needed to be censored for television. One bite looked like it would ruin your sense of taste forever.
"Wow, it looks so hearty! There's so much in here, it looks delicious!"
"In what world?!"
Apparently, as long as there were a lot of ingredients, Airi considered it a feast.
"No, no, Miyama-senior is right! It looks great! When we lived abroad, my mom used to make soups exactly like this, mixing all kinds of things together!"
What kind of soup was she feeding you?! You weren't being tricked into eating something illegal, were you?
"Uwah... the alphabet macaroni and the Harivo bears are swimming in that murky sludge... wrapped in kelp cocoons."
"Don't narrate it, Tanaka. I'm going to gag."
"Well, we worked hard to cook it, so let's eat! I’ll dish it out for everyone!"
Airi used a ladle to fill six large bowls and placed them in front of us. This wasn't a hot pot anymore; it was puke-sludge.
"This is... definitely bad news, right?"
"You're one to talk after splashing condensed milk in there, Yuria."
"Hey, don't use the word 'splashing'!"
She definitely caught the reference. It really was because of Breast-Kyun.
"Anyway! Let's all eat on the count of three!"
"Ah, wait a second."
Just as Airi was about to give the signal, Rui cut in.
"Sorry, everyone. My parents are calling me. You guys go ahead and start without me."
With that, Rui slipped out of the room. Wait, did she... did she just sense the danger and bail?
"I feel bad for Rui-chan, but let's eat!"
"Y-Yeah..."
"Ready, set... thanks for the food!"
On Airi’s command, all five of us shoved a spoonful into our mouths... and then...
"NNNNNGGGHHHHHHH!?!?"
The second it hit our tongues, everyone clutched their mouths.
"This is... guh..."
I’ll tell you exactly what happened. The moment I tasted that chaos, it felt like a bolt of lightning struck my brain, and my consciousness simply evaporated.
I have no idea what it actually tasted like. My brain refused to process it. My tongue felt like it was going to wither and die. This wasn't something as simple as "gross." This was a glimpse into a terrifying, dark abyss...
"Hehe... I knew it would be bad from the smell. My crisis management skills really are perfect."
As the four of us collapsed onto the table, faces twisted in agony, a voice drifted in from a distance.
Was that... R-Rui?
"But thanks to this... I get Ryouta-kun’s past all to myself ♡"
I heard the distinct click of a smartphone camera shutter, but the sheer toxicity of the meal forced me into a deep unconsciousness. I didn't remember another thing until the moment I finally woke up.