Serious-senpai, the self-proclaimed Incarnation of Seriousness, arrived from a mysterious room that opened only once a year. Her method of travel was a mystery even to her... Honestly, this woman was a walking enigma.
She had a peculiar energy about her, but she wasn't a bad person; in fact, there was something quite approachable about her. Given the number of eccentric people I knew, I’d come to view her as just another strange friend who dropped by occasionally.
"Serious-senpai, would you like something to drink?"
"I'll take a coffee."
"Understood. How would you like your sugar and milk?"
Regardless of how she had gotten here, I decided to play the host and prepared to pull the requested drink from my Magic Box. I usually had a large amount of coffee brewed and stored in my Magic Box for times when I wanted a cup but didn't want to bother Illness-san or Theta.
As an aside, Eta was hopeless when it came to brewing coffee—or black tea, for that matter. She was generally poor at cooking, so if I needed someone other than Illness-san to handle beverages, it had to be Theta.
The coffee was still fresh thanks to the Magic Box's preservation... but maybe it was psychological; it always seemed to taste better when brewed right in front of me rather than just being produced from a box.
"...Good grief. It should be obvious that I drink it black. Kaito, look at me. I am the Incarnation of Seriousness, the Serious of Serious, the one currently achieving consecutive victories in the year's greatest serious category... There is no option other than black."
There were so many things I could have pointed out, but the most glaring was her claim about "achieving consecutive victories." Wasn't she just patting herself on the back?
"Setting the rest aside for now... what does your being an 'Incarnation of Seriousness' have to do with your coffee being black?"
"Hey, stop that! Don't bore into me with those pure eyes and ask questions like that! Listen, that's the one thing you’re never supposed to say. It's like trying to use logic to talk down someone with Chunibyo... Serious characters drink black coffee! That’s just the rule, so accept it! Got it? Don't ask anything else! I don't have an answer for you!"
"...Right. I understand. Well, here is your black coffee. I assume you'd prefer tea sweets that aren't too sweet? I have some bitter chocolate as well."
"Y-You're so kind... Thank you."
"Talk about an emotional rollercoaster..."
One moment she was snapping at me, the next she was thanking me with a deeply moved expression. Her mood swings were as extreme as ever.
"By the way, Kaito. Who are you gunning for next? Be honest."
"...I’m begging you, please give me some context. That was so out of the blue I have no idea what you mean."
"I'm asking who you’re planning to make your next lover."
"...Er, sorry. Even with the clarification, I still don't get it. My next lover? I don't have any plans like that..."
"Is the main contender Illness? Or perhaps Lunamaria is coming up as a dark horse..."
"You're not listening to a word I'm saying... Besides, you even know about Illness-san and Luna-san?"
Now that I thought about it, she was an acquaintance of Alice’s, so she might have solid information on my social circle. Still, the intent behind her question remained a mystery. Why did it matter to Serious-senpai if I happened to get a new lover?
"...Serious-senpai, can I ask you something? Setting aside the question of whether I'm getting more lovers, even if I were, what impact would that have on you?"
"It’s a huge deal! Every time your lover count increases, my frequency of sugarification goes up, and the number of times I take pure damage increases. Look, even if the damage is unavoidable, I still need to prepare myself. It’s better to have my mind made up than to be hit by a surprise attack, right? That’s what this is about."
"...I see. Actually, I’m going to contact Fia-sensei right now. Let’s go see her together. Don't worry, I'll stay by your side."
"Stop looking at me like I’m a mental patient!"
I’d listened to her entire explanation, and yet the only thought in my head was "What is this woman talking about?" It was only natural to conclude that she was suffering from some kind of delusion.
However, she didn't seem to be lying. Even though her emotions were wildly unstable, my Sympathy Magic told me she was speaking from the heart.
"...Trying to understand you just gives me a headache, so I’m going to stop thinking about it. For now, do you want to go get something to eat? It’s around lunchtime."
"C-Could I be the next target? Don't underestimate me, youngster! Don't think the Incarnation of Seriousness can be captured that easily! ...That being said, I want chicken. Something spicy. Maybe ethnic cuisine..."
"Like tandoori chicken?"
"Yes, that! That’s exactly what I want!"
"Alright, I’ll see if I can find a place."
"Great! Thank you, Kaito!"
It was just a hunch, but I suspected that Serious-senpai was actually quite a pushover.
Serious-senpai (Captured): "Hey, what’s with the title of the extension being longer than the original!?"
???: "...Actually, look at the note next to her name. Her affection level accumulation is already sufficient. Does that mean if you confessed, it would be a success?"