It was an authentic Japanese-style hot spring inn, complete with modern appliances. With functional television and other amenities, I could have easily spent the night relaxing in the room, but for now, I decided to make my way to the main baths.
I grabbed the yukata and towel provided for me and headed toward the dressing room. The prospect of soaking in a hot spring with a view of Mount Fuji actually sounded quite pleasant. Now that I was here, I figured I should just embrace the experience and enjoy the relaxation.
Or so I thought, until...
"Um... Shiro-san? Why are you in this dressing room? This area is clearly divided for men and women, right?"
"Hmm. Since we are the only ones using this inn, there is no one else here. No employees, either... and we are about to enter the hot spring together."
"...Meaning?"
"What would be the point of using separate rooms?"
"...Standard modesty? Or just common sense?"
"I see."
Shiro-san nodded as if she understood, but she didn't move an inch. Instead, she stood there, staring fixedly at me. I could feel a pointlessly intense determination radiating from her—she had absolutely no intention of leaving.
"Just a simple question, but why do you want to change in the same room? For someone like you, Shiro-san, wouldn't changing your clothes take less than a second?"
"A pertinent question. It is because I am currently executing the 'Heart-pounding! Mixed Bathing Happening Operation.' Therefore, we must share the same space."
That was weird. I asked a question and got an answer, yet the situation made even less sense than it did a moment ago. I knew she was plotting something, but was it really wise to announce her plan to the person she was trying to trap?
"A happening?"
"Yes. I formulated this operation based on these reference materials."
"That's clearly just a romance manga!"
"In these reference materials, the protagonist and the heroine are stranded on a snowy mountain and happen upon a small inn where they spend the night."
The premise was already entirely different. Was this plan going to be okay? Aside from being at an inn, we didn't have a single thing in common with that story.
"The baths at that inn had a set schedule for men and women, but the protagonist was exhausted and missed the sign. He walked into the bath during the time slot reserved for women."
"And let me guess, he runs into the heroine while she's changing?"
It sounded like one of those typical, forced fanservice scenes. It was likely a convenient situation where there were no other guests, but in any other context, the protagonist would have probably been arrested. I suppose walking in while someone is changing is already grounds for trouble... but yeah. That's just a standard rom-com trope, usually ending with the heroine getting angry.
"Then, startled by the sudden encounter, the protagonist slips and accidentally pushes the heroine down."
"...Um, I might be biased here, but... that manga doesn't sound very interest—ah, never mind."
The plot felt so contrived that I almost told her it sounded boring, but I caught myself. It wasn't fair to judge something without actually reading it. Even if some scenes were forced, the rest of it could be a masterpiece, and I shouldn't speak ill of something I don't know well.
"...So, what exactly are you looking for here?"
"A 'happening' where you push me down."
"There are so many things I want to say right now, but I'll stick to one... If you propose the situation in advance and then carry it out, it's not a 'happening' anymore, is it?"
"................That was a blind spot. I had not considered that 'Heart-pounding! Mixed Bathing Happening Operation' contained such a fatal flaw..."
She seemed genuinely shocked. How on earth did she think she could pull off an "accident" by explaining it first?
"I shall apply this lesson to my future efforts."
"That's for the best. Everyone fails sometimes."
"..."
"...Um? Shiro-san? Why are you still standing there, staring at me?"
"Since the operation is currently in progress, I am waiting for you to take action."
That was odd. Didn't the flow of the conversation just imply that the plan was a failure? Wait... was she saying that even if it wasn't a "happening" anymore, she still wanted me to act out the scene of pushing her down?
"Exactly. I'm counting on you."
"..."
I don't think I need to mention that I looked up at the ceiling with an utterly exhausted expression.
Serious-senpai: "Is it just me, or does this Goddess have the mental fortitude of a legendary general? The word 'retreat' has been completely struck from her dictionary..."