The cliff was sheer, seemingly impossible for any human to scale. But that only applied to humans.
We had Miti, the Slime Climber! No matter how vertical the wall or how tricky the overhang, Miti could climb it to her heart’s content.
She scooped up Tria and made her way up the rock face with steady, sticky steps, reaching the summit with ease.
"We’re here!"
"Good work, Miti."
"Hehe, it was nothing! I’m not tired at all, you know?"
Tria was small, sure, but it only occurred to me then that I could’ve just tucked her away in the Home to make things even easier. Well, too late now.
Moving on!
"Here we are at the clifftop! The field is set, the equipment is ready! Behold our projectile: the Massive Young Turtle Mass Bullet!"
"Lord Spirit, what are you doing?"
"Oh, just narrating. Every competitive sport needs a play-by-play. Now, Miti, are you ready?"
"Ready!"
"Stand right there. When I raise my hand, drop the shell."
"Got it!"
Alright, let’s look at our first Young Turtle! This will be our ball for the opening round.
The target is the fortress far below. It looks like a toy from this height, but can we land a hit? This is a sport where luck is the deciding factor.
"And the Shell Toss from the Top of the Cliff begins! Our first contestant: Miti! She takes her stance—"
"Hehe, incoming!"
"And she releases!"
Calling it a "release" was generous; she basically just launched it with a high-speed Body Slam. Close enough.
Clang-bang-crash-boom! The shell went tumbling down, bouncing off the cliffside. Despite the "Young" in its name, it was roughly the size of the giant boulder from a certain famous archaeology movie.
Since these were Young Turtle Corpses—shell and all—they were weapons of immense mass. A direct hit would be devastating.
It ricocheted unpredictably off the rock face before plummeting into an open courtyard. Its momentum carried it straight into a building, which promptly folded like a house of cards.
"Lord Spirit, Lord Spirit! How many points was that?"
"Hmm, fifty points! That’s a top-tier score!"
"Yay! A high score!"
"Lord Spirit, Tria is next! Tria wants to try too!"
"Oh, a substitution! Let me switch the controls... there."
The second round! Taking the field is Athlete Tria. She winds up her leg and... kicks the shell into orbit!
Clatter-bang-smash-boom! It ricocheted wildly before slamming directly into a building with a thunderous roar!
Oho, look at that. Soldiers in black armor are swarming out of the wreckage like disturbed ants.
"Heh, just as I calculated. How was that, Lord Spirit?"
"Another fifty points! Alright, let’s try two at once. Whoever stays bouncing the longest wins!"
"I'm in!"
Third and fourth rounds! Three, two, one, go!
Wait, is this even the same sport anymore? Whatever, don't sweat the details!
I might have gotten a little carried away. I ended up throwing almost every Young Turtle in my inventory.
Well, they didn't break even from this height, so I figured I could just retrieve them later.
Though, now that I think about it, what kind of monster is Tria for being able to smash these shells with her bare hands? They must be resistant to blunt, uniform impacts. Probably. They survived being tossed around by the Great Turtle, after all.
Unsurprisingly, dozens of soldiers had fled the fortress, while the survivors stood paralyzed, staring up at the clifftop.
I mean, if massive objects are raining from the sky, you're going to realize there's something up there. Not that they had any way of reaching us.
The only reason we were here was thanks to Miti's climbing skills.
The real surprise, however, was the reaction of the fleeing soldiers. When they saw the Young Turtles, they looked absolutely petrified and bolted in the opposite direction of the village we’d just saved.
Guys, they’re dead. Why are you so spooked? I wondered. I almost wanted to shout it down at them.
I wonder if I can hear what they're screaming if I focus...
"Ah. Better pull out the Home. I need Valeria to confirm the mission status."
"Right!"
I summoned the Home and sent Miti inside to fetch Valeria.
"...I just got into bed... Uh, wait. Where am I?"
"The clifftop. Look, that’s the enemy base down there."
"When did we get up here? And... wait, why is it in ruins? Are they retreating?"
"I played around a bit and things got a little out of hand."
Valeria pressed a hand to her temple and squeezed out a reply.
"...I see."
"I didn't wipe them all out, but is this good enough for the request?"
"It is... more than enough. To think this 'Impregnable Canyon Fortress' could be reduced to this so easily..."
"Great. Well, I’m going down to collect my turtles."
"Lord Spirit! Leave it to me! I'll go get them!"
"No, let's just go down normally. The enemies have all cleared out."
"Can I have a snack on the way?"
"In moderation, okay?"
With the mission confirmed, I put Valeria back into the Home. I was going to put Tria in as well, but it turned out I couldn't store the Home while she was inside it, so she stayed out.
"Alright, Miti, take us down."
"Easy!"
"I’m in your hands, Miti."
Miti dropped her Human Mimicry and wrapped herself around Tria's waist like a jelly belt. Then she started descending the vertical wall—wait, wait, too fast! That's not climbing, that's falling!
"Whoops! Slipped on some sand!"
"Good grief. Lord Spirit, switch to me. I'll aim for that intact building. Miti, just hang on tight."
"O-Oh, okay!"
"Got it!"
I took control of Tria and immediately kicked off the wall, shifting our trajectory. Just as she’d planned, we slammed onto the roof of the one surviving building. The structure, already weakened, groaned and collapsed under the force of the landing. Tria instantly leaped away from the wreckage and stuck a perfect landing on the ground.
Damn. That was like something out of an action movie.
"Heh. Tria can handle a cliff like that without a scratch. Am I amazing?"
"This game’s Fall Damage is lethal, yet you... You're incredible, Tria!"
"Yay! Praise! It was worth the training."
Tria huffed proudly, her chest swelling with satisfaction.
Seriously, though, I thought my heart was going to stop. That was way too close!
"Miti, as a penalty for that slip, no snacks for you."
"Nooo! I'm sorry, Lord Spirit!"
And with that, the mission was a wrap.