Good old Parcion.
Ethnically, they were said to be of the Chronos lineage, though their appearance was quite different. Compared to Chronosians, their pigmentation was much lighter. Among the related ethnic groups, Chronos was likely the closest to the people of the Galactic Empire, while Parcion was the furthest.
The gap between Galactic Empire Persons and those of the Chronos line was significant. It wasn't just a matter of aesthetics; they boasted a far higher number of ESP users than any other race. Special ability users like Jester and the Fairy were unique traits found only among the people of the Galactic Empire.
Maybe it was an evolutionary path aimed at universal happiness, bred in an environment isolated from the rest of the world... Nah, couldn't be.
Then there were the Lepsitolians, who were a special evolutionary branch. The Ogre God Nation was thought to be a combat-specialized offshoot of the Latarnians. And I wondered if the Taikyoku Nation Persons were a blend of both Chronosian and Latarnian blood? They were referred to as the Ancient People, after all.
The Proone and the Small-nation Beast-types felt like entirely different species from humanity. As for the octopus people living in water tanks, I didn't have a clue. Genetic and zoological classifications in this world had only just begun. That was the sort of thing the Galactic Empire excelled at.
Anyway, inside his own borders, Parcion was making a massive scene, shouting, "Citizens! Now is the time to unite and drown the invaders in a sea of fire!" despite the fact that they'd stopped coming outside entirely.
Naturally, we gave them the cold shoulder. The more time passed, the more the advantage shifted in our favor. So, leaving Parcion to his own devices, it was time for some fun.
It turned out that Tatiana had been taking vocal lessons from Nina-san. She'd also been getting pop-style coaching from the light music club crowd, but this was specifically for her duties as a Saint. When I checked in with Nina-san, she told me, "She's quite talented♪"
Well, now I had to hear it.
"And so, I present to you: the Tatiana Concert!"
I'd dipped into my personal funds to gather professional-grade audio equipment for the occasion. However, the stage itself was just a wooden crate that used to hold tomato cans.
Thwack!
Tatiana kicked me.
"I was joking! Just a joke!"
I brought out the real deal: a needlessly flashy Gaming Podium. It was a collaborative project developed by several engineers specifically to mess with her.
"Huh?" Tatiana growled, looking ready to hoist the entire podium over her head and hurl it.
"Alright! I'll stop, just don't break it! Geez!"
"I want to stand on that, for me, sir!" One-oh-one's eyes lit up at the sight of the flashing lights.
"See, Tatiana? This is what an ideal sister looks like! Take notes!"
"Shut up, you idiot!"
How cold. I'd gone to the trouble of salvaging circuit boards from old lights, soldering on new LEDs, and programming the whole thing with a single-board microcontroller...
"Shut up, you idiot"? "Die"? I was going to cry. I was going to go into a corner and sulk. Was that what she wanted?
"You are so incredibly annoyinnnnnnnnng!"
Now that Tatiana’s pre-show jitters had turned into pure irritation, it was time for the performance.
"And now, we have a special guest. Nina-san!"
"Eh? Wait, what?"
Nina-san was ushered onto the stage, having been told absolutely nothing beforehand.
"It's the Tatiana Live. What do you think? It's your student's big moment."
"Wait, hang on... Tatiana-chan! You mustn't sing for real!"
Tatiana just smirked.
Ah. I’d made a mistake.
A sound like a localized thunderclap shook the room. The moment I realized it was Tatiana's voice, we all understood the gravity of our error.
A Pillar of Light shot upward.
Yes, Tatiana's Saint Power was the genuine article. I mean, I already knew she had the power to vaporize Ghouls, but the sheer force of her singing when she was serious was something else entirely.
We were all forced to the floor. The building was literally rattling! Even Nina-san was down on all fours.
"Tatiana-chan's 'serious' isn't just this! I was supposed to be teaching her how to hold it back!"
The song Tatiana was singing was Ave Maria. Probably. With my limited musical knowledge, I couldn't tell if it was the version by Schubert, Gounod, or Caccini. Regardless, it was power on a cataclysmic scale. The building wouldn't stop shaking, and that Pillar of Light was just standing there, defiant.
"I yield! I yield!"
I tapped the floor frantically. Meanwhile, the glowing podium had been reduced to splinters in the corner of the room.
"Phew... gasp... okay. Where's my 'I'm sorry'?"
"Men! Prostrate yourselves! Everyone, get down!"
The male and female staff members lined up in three neat rows and performed a formal dogeza.
"We surrender!"
"Hmph!"
Just then, Wifey came bursting into the room.
"What in the world is happening?! I came to hear Tatiana sing and found the windows shattered!"
And so, we were promptly apprehended by the Imperial Guard Knights of Chronos and the Empress.
"I-I didn't know it would be like that!"
When I tried to use tears to fake my way out of trouble, all the boys were treated to a heavy-handed knuckle sandwich from our guardian, Katori-sensei. The girls didn't get off easy either, receiving a stern lecture from Wifey and Piggett.
What happened to me being the King?
Once the news of the Pillar of Light spread, a Chronos Religion Priest, a representative from the Latarnia Ministry of Foreign Affairs, a Gaming Monk who was stationed in Chronos for some reason, and Suematsu-san—acting as our Shinto Category expert—were all summoned. It was decided that she would sing once more, this time at a shrine in the Religious Neutral Zone.
Zashiki-warashi-chan danced in circles as Tatiana prepared. This time, she actually did a proper warm-up with Nina-san.
To keep things neutral, her outfit for the day was traditional Japanese attire—specifically, a style reminiscent of a Court Lady. Since a full twelve-layered ceremonial robe would have been too heavy to move in, she wore a simplified version with a similar aesthetic.
The moment Tatiana began to sing, Himorogi-chan began to glow, emitting a light several times more brilliant than usual. We all watched with our mouths hanging open.
Tatiana... she’d actually powered up. And she was a damn good singer, too.
The entire scene was broadcast by Lou-chan's Mama's camera crew. It wasn't just a performance; it was like the world's most effective physical therapy. This was an Ultra-wide-range Imitation Heal delivered via satellite.
I worried she might burn through her life force, but according to the explanation from Zashiki-warashi-chan and Suematsu-san, it was fueled by faith... or perhaps the collective consciousness of the Chronosians, something like a Zork Network? In any case, they explained that she drew power from that collective and redistributed it to everyone watching.
"Ah... I see. So basically, it’s a shareholders' meeting and a dividend payout?"
Without a word, Katori-sensei dropped a heavy fist onto my head.
"Keep your mouth shut. Your way of describing things is entirely too blunt."
"Ah, yes. Sorry."
In this instance, Katori-sensei was almost certainly right. If I put it into words like that, it felt like the magic would lose its mystery, so I zipped my lip. In short, she was returning power to the believers.
The footage reached the Galactic Empire at the speed of light. And just like that, the song of Tatiana, the End-of-the-Century Saint, became the stuff of legends.
"Lord Groom... what exactly is a Jester?"
Immediately afterward, Wifey looked at me with a face full of exhaustion.
"I'm the one who understands it the least, honestly."
That was the truth of it. In the end, what exactly were we? I couldn't help but feel that our abilities were becoming far too powerful for comfort.