After reaching the royal castle and following Laguna toward the dining hall, Falce kept her conversation with Kaito and Laguna light and normal, even as her mind whirled with complex thoughts.
(I am grateful we reached the castle safely. My planning was admittedly naive, and even by my most optimistic projections, I expected the journey to take several days. Arriving so soon is a stroke of incredible fortune. I truly must thank him from the bottom of my heart. Yes... well, but...)
Falce spoke as she always did, her outward demeanor perfectly calm. However, her internal state was anything but ordinary.
She was desperately maintaining a facade of serenity, but inside, she was in a total panic. The cause was simple.
(...How... h-how long are we going to keep holding hands?)
Indeed, Falce was still walking hand-in-hand with Kaito. This physical contact was the sole reason her heart refused to settle.
(The primary goal was to ensure I didn't wander off before reaching the castle, and that has already been achieved. Surely I can let go now? B-But is that something I should be the one to initiate? The reason we started holding hands in the first place was my own incompetence, and he is doing this out of genuine kindness. Wouldn't pulling away now dampen the mood? Or, if the mission is completed upon "arrival," does that mean we stay like this until we've actually sat down in the dining hall? Is it proper to continue until then...? I don't know. I simply don't know. This is the first time I’ve ever walked with a man like this. I am woefully lacking in both the knowledge and experience required to navigate such a situation... Honestly, I would rather wait for him to make the move.)
Falce was a shut-in by nature, rarely leaving the borders of Rigforresia. To her, as the oldest of all Elves, members of her own race were essentially children, nephews, or nieces. She had never once regarded anyone with romantic or even gender-conscious intent.
That was likely why, despite her composed exterior, she was blushing just as Laguna had pointed out earlier. She was utterly unsettled.
(Ugh, you seem so relaxed even though I’m in this state. You’re quite the playboy, aren’t you? Then again, compared to my own meager romantic experience, I’m sure he’s miles ahead of me. Still... can the simple act of holding hands really throw one’s heart into such turmoil?)
She stole a glance at Kaito. He didn't seem particularly conscious of the fact that they were holding hands; he was chatting naturally with Laguna and Falce. He wasn't putting on an act like she was. He simply seemed accustomed to the intimacy of walking hand-in-hand.
(Good heavens... look at that carefree face. Truly, I want to shout it at him just once. "Do you have any idea how you look from my perspective?" Even if we ignore his looks, since beauty is subjective, I wish he’d reflect on his own behavior. Time and again, he has appeared gallantly right when I was at my most vulnerable to save me. I really want him to take a long, hard look at how my heart might react to that.)
At the Six Kings Festival, during the White God Festival, and now here—Kaito always seemed to show up at the most exquisite moments. He appeared just as she snapped out of her optimistic delusions and began to seriously despair over her situation. She called him her "Messiah" half-jokingly, but in truth, he had appeared with the perfect timing of a hero saving a damsel in distress.
(Getting lost is a frequent occurrence for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't filled with anxiety and frustration while it’s happening. If a man with such a likable personality appears out of nowhere to rescue me again and again, it’s only natural that someone as inexperienced as I am would fall for him instantly. I wish he’d consider that... No, I know I’m being unreasonable, even if it’s only in my head. Expecting him to divine my feelings is impossible. In fact, if he actually did sense them, I’d be even more mortified. Dear me... the heart is such a difficult thing to manage.)
Reaching that conclusion, Falce let out a faint, self-deprecating chuckle and glanced at Kaito once more.
"Hm? Is something the matter?"
"Ah, no. I was just wondering what might be served for lunch. Since we are in the Hydra Kingdom, I imagine it will be seafood? I can hardly imagine our host failing to provide the nation’s finest delicacies here..."
"Oh, fish sounds great. We don't get as much of it in Symphonia, so..."
Engaging in idle chatter as Kaito looked back at her, Falce gave his hand a very slight, unconscious squeeze.
(It really is impossible. Despite agonizing over when to let go, a part of me doesn't want to. It’s a total contradiction, utterly illogical. It’s quite troublesome... My only hope is that I can finally release his hand before my heartbeat becomes so loud that, by some terrible mistake, he hears it.)
Serious-senpai: "Wait... Wait, wait! This is a bad development! This is a really bad development, isn't it!?"