Illness sat across from Kaito, slowly tilting her glass as she let her thoughts drift.
(Truly, I am... at a loss. I never imagined... that controlling my emotions... could be so difficult.)
To Kaito, Illness seemed to be handling the situation with the poise of an adult. He saw her as serene and composed, but her inner heart told a different story. Her earlier words had been sincere, and even now, her heart remained in a state she didn't recognize as its own.
(Even when I try to suppress them... my desires surface without limit. I even feel a sense of disgust at my own shallow greed. Truly... where was this part of me hiding? I do not even know... myself.)
Before meeting Kaito, Illness had never found it hard to manage her emotions. In fact, she had rarely even considered the idea of "controlling" them in the first place. She had always been her natural self—perhaps proof that she had been hollow—existing in a constant, flat state that she never questioned or found inconvenient.
But beside Kaito, her emotions surged with a power she couldn't compare to anything else. She found herself bewildered, tossed about by the intensity of her own heart.
(Is it because... I decided to be more selfish today? Normally... everything should have come to an End... once we returned from the Night Market. Yet, the time I spend alone with Kaito-sama... is so happy and comfortable... that I cannot seem to bring myself to stop. I am only causing Kaito-sama trouble.)
She had suggested tea after the Night Market, followed him into the bath to wash his back, and now, they were sharing an Evening Drink.
(I really should reflect on my behavior... yet I am truly at a loss. Nothing but thoughts of how happy I feel... keeps rising to the surface.)
Kaito, despite being sensitive to emotional shifts through his Sympathy Magic, had not noticed her inner turmoil. Her overwhelming sense of happiness acted like a veil, masking her confusion. Because the feelings reaching him through his magic were so purely filled with joy and delight, her internal conflict went unnoticed.
(What do I... want to be to you? What... do I want to become? Even asking such questions... would have been impossible... for the person I used to be.)
Illness had changed so much that her former self—the person she was before meeting Kaito—would have been stunned to see her now. She was certain that no one would look at her today and call her "empty."
(I thought I would be satisfied just seeing you happy. It is a strange thing. When I am with you... I can feel my own self, which went unchanged for so many years... rapidly transforming. It is frightening... but the fact that I can find joy in this change... is surely just another gift... from Kaito-sama.)
Even as she felt a lingering confusion over her transformation, she was beginning to embrace it. The simple idea that Kaito’s happiness was enough—that seeing his smile was her only reward—was evolving. Her desire for his joy had grown even stronger, and while her wishes hadn't yet taken a concrete shape, she had begun to yearn for a future by his side.
(...Every time I speak with you... every time we spend time together like this... I feel far more affection for you than before. To the point where I truly wonder... if there are no limits at all...)
Lost in these thoughts, she tilted her glass and happened to catch Kaito’s eye. He sat across from her with a gentle smile, and Illness felt a warm, heavy pulse in her chest.
"Kaito-sama...?"
"Yes?"
"If the opportunity arises again... would it be alright... if I were the one... to invite you for an Evening Drink?"
Kaito looked surprised for a moment. In their relationship thus far, he was almost always the one taking the lead or making invitations. Illness had never been the one to take that kind of initiative.
His surprise was brief, quickly replaced by a bright, warm smile as he nodded.
"Yeah, of course. I'll look forward to it."
"Kuhihi, yes."
The changes deep within Illness began to color her expression. Seeing her smile with such genuine happiness, Kaito felt his own face grow warm.
Of course... Kaito wasn't the only one affected.
(I am truly... at a loss. It is not unpleasant at all... but when I am with Kaito-sama... I truly cannot control my feelings. Even though it is such... a quiet night... the pounding of my heart... is far too loud.)
Serious-senpai: "So this is hell, the Permanent Sugar Land... Curse it, is 'Seriousness' destined for Sugar-elimination before this story's might...?"
???: "Listen, could you stop trying to slip weird puns into the narration? It's irritating how you think you're being clever."