"You have an unexpectedly active side, don't you, Yamamoto-kun?"
I suddenly remembered being told that by my one and only high school girlfriend as she gave me a smile.
The reason Kasahara had started saying things like that was probably because I was usually on my way home from the gym whenever we walked together. It wasn't as if I’d asked Kasahara to wait for me. Back then, she hung out with a girl who absolutely loved staying late at school—the girl we called The Queen. By the time I’d finished sweating for a few hours at the gym, it just happened to coincide with when she was finally heading home.
"I guess so," I had replied.
I didn't disagree with her. In fact, despite the stereotype that perverse, cynical people tend to hate physical activity, I felt like I was the exception to the rule. Beyond the gym, I didn’t mind exercise in general. I enjoyed most ball games, and as for walking... whether I was alone or with Kasahara, I’d always found the time relatively pleasant.
Though, looking back, I don’t think I ever cared much for PE class.
Now that I think about it, we walked all over the place when we went home together, yet I can’t quite recall the specifics of our conversations. I wonder why?
...Ah, right.
"And then, you see—"
As it turned out, whenever I’d walked with Kasahara, her stories were almost exclusively about the woman I was walking with toward the gym right now.
"It was so hilarious—"
Kasahara really was always talking about Hayashi. She looked so happy. So joyful. ...And so envious.
Even though we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, I knew the truth. It was clearer than day that Hayashi was the more important person in her life. I didn't feel particularly jealous. I’d never been invested enough in another person to feel real jealousy... and more than anything, I realized immediately that I stood no chance of competing.
"I'm sorry."
Why was I remembering Kasahara's face smiling with that touch of loneliness after all this time?
"Hey, Yamamoto. Are you even listening?"
"No, I wasn't listening at all."
"I see. In that case, which do you want: a slap or a punch?"
"I’d prefer neither."
"Don't worry. I’ll make sure to hit you where it hurts most."
"The price for missing one conversation is a bit steep, don't you think?"
This woman had spent years suffering from her ex-boyfriend’s abuse. She, of all people, should know that trying to force compliance through physical violence was the worst possible approach. I suppose humans truly can only gain things through conflict...
"Yamamoto, you're reciting one of those regretful poems in your head again, aren't you?"
"I am not. I was merely pitying you in my mind."
"Oh? And how much pity are we talking about?"
"Roughly the same amount I feel for my own future as I walk the solitary path."
"That’s... actually quite a lot."
She looked genuinely put off. Her face went pale as she recoiled from me. Was it really that bad? Seeing her look so disgusted made me feel a bit sick, like she was confirming that my future really was at rock bottom.
Oh, wait. That’s exactly what she was saying.
"W-well, you finally made a friend recently. Even if she is a girl. Things will start looking up for you soon. Even if she is just a girl."
Hayashi was really going out of her way to emphasize the "female friend" part.
"By the way, how are things going with Nene's studies?"
"Hmph. Everything is proceeding without a hitch."
"...Yamamoto-kun, you really can do everything, can't you? You’re good at academics, you’re good at coaching diets..."
"Why does that sound so sarcastic?"
It was strange. She hadn't been in a bad mood before we left for our walk. What exactly had set her off? Was it just me ignoring her earlier? That had to be it.
"M-more importantly, how is it going? It’s been a little while since we started the diet. How’s your weight?"
I decided to pivot.
"Asking a girl her weight is the absolute worst."
"You’re a woman of voting age, yet you still call yourself a girl...?"
"What was that?"
"...My apologies."
After that, the conversation died out completely. She really was terrifying. To think she’d get this cranky over two or three little landmines. Then again, on a real battlefield, stepping on a single landmine is enough to kill you.
"...It went down," Hayashi muttered after a long silence. "It finally went down. One kilogram."
"Oh!" I let out a breath of genuine admiration. "I see. That’s great news. That’s a very steady pace."
"Not at all." Her voice was heavy. "Ever since I started the diet, I’ve made a point to stand in front of the mirror every day. Now that I’m looking, I realized just how fat I’ve actually gotten."
"..."
"That’s why I want to lose it fast. And yet, after working this hard, it's still only been one miserable kilogram... sigh."
I see. Recently, Hayashi had been a snack fiend. Since starting the diet, she had cut out the sweets and started exercising after a long period of inactivity. She was dealing with levels of stress and fatigue she wasn't used to. After all that effort, she’d succeeded in losing weight, but it was "only" one kilogram. It was the perfect moment for the psychological toll to set in.
"Hayashi, what do you think is the most important part of dieting?"
"What? ...Endurance?"
"Consistency," I told her. "Sure, restraint is important. But excessive deprivation is poison to the body and a primary cause of rebounding. That's why we set limits that don't feel like unbearable torture. Then, we maintain those limits over time. That’s what matters."
"...Muu."
"Think about it. If you force your body through extreme deprivation and the weight still doesn't drop, what happens then?"
"Umm... I'd fall into total despair?"
"Exactly. That’s the trap most people fall into when they fail. They lose hope."
"I guess so... I’ve seen people quit for that exact reason before."
"Right? So we’re going to stick to moderate restrictions and focus on steady consistency. That's how you'll lose the weight."
"...Yeah."
By the time Hayashi had finally come around to the idea, we had arrived at the gym.