“...Well, to put it simply, it’s really nothing. In the end, I just didn't feel like coming back because I didn't want to see my family.”
Yamamoto gave a faint, wry smile, looking slightly exasperated for a moment before he spoke.
I offered a wry smile of my own. Now that he mentioned it, it was exactly as he said.
The reason Yamamoto never came home—no matter how you sliced it, it was simply because he didn't want to. Or perhaps more accurately, he felt he didn't need to.
“I want to know the real reason. Stop giving me these paper-thin excuses that barely scratch the surface, okay?”
“...Fair enough.”
Yamamoto smiled calmly.
It was a strange feeling. When I had heard the stories of Yamamoto’s past from Shiho-chan earlier, everything had felt so much more desperate and strained. However, seeing as the man himself didn't seem to take it so heavily, I found it easier to accept now.
“...What do you think?” he asked.
“Eh?”
“About the reason I didn't return home. Did you think it was because I wanted to distance myself from my family?”
“...At first, maybe a little.”
I looked down. Knowing his heavy family circumstances, it would be natural for anyone to assume he wanted some distance. No, that wasn't it. Regardless of the circumstances, it wasn't strange for a nineteen-year-old boy to want to leave his parents' side. It wouldn't be odd to prefer the city to a quiet hometown.
But I knew that wasn't the case with Yamamoto. Because the Yamamoto I knew...
“But you're not the type to run away, are you?”
I knew it. There was no one kinder to others or stricter with himself than him. I just knew it. It was impossible. Precisely because he was Yamamoto, it was simply impossible. He would never neglect his family or run away from things he found unpleasant.
But that was exactly why I had a question. If that was the case... why hadn't Yamamoto returned home even once since moving to Tokyo?
There must have been plenty of opportunities. Up until today, we had returned to our hometown from Tokyo many times. It should have been possible for him to find a little gap in his schedule to stop by. And yet, Yamamoto hadn't done that.
“...It was a long time ago, around the time my mom remarried and we found out she was pregnant with Shiho. Both my parents were so happy.”
Yamamoto began to speak, his gaze fixed on something far away.
“I was desperate to fit in, but a stranger had become my father, and it felt like my mom had become a stranger, too. I lost track of whether I was even part of the family anymore. I was... spiraling.”
I didn't offer a reply.
“Back then, completely out of character for me, I broke down crying and yelled at my mom. I told her not to have the baby. I still can't forget her face. She didn't look angry; she just looked lonely. She just apologized and hugged me. I felt pathetic. I wondered what on earth I was doing, making my own mother so sad. I agonized over it for three days and nights. When I finally faced the truth, I realized—I just wanted to be a family with her.”
“...Yeah.”
“But then I realized something else. They gave me a home. They gave me affection. Wasn't that enough to make us a family? That's what I finally understood.”
Yamamoto gave a slight, wry smile.
“I couldn't forgive myself for being so foolish—for failing to see the obvious and hurting someone I loved. That was when I stopped running away.”
Perhaps because he had reached a natural pause in his story, Yamamoto fell silent for a moment. Then, he continued.
“You said that my refusal to stop by my parents' house isn't because I’m running away. That’s the truth. In my mind, I don’t have any lingering resentment toward my family. They are all my precious family. Honestly, I’d been thinking I wanted to come home as soon as possible.”
“Then, why...?”
“Because I haven't accomplished anything yet.”
Yamamoto’s face was filled with resolve.
“...I left home on a selfish whim to live in Tokyo. I felt it would be wrong to keep crawling back here after forcing that choice on everyone. I moved to the city to do what I wanted, after all. I didn't want to come back until I had something to show for it.”
“...What is that?”
Just for moving to the city? This man... He really was abnormally strict with himself. But it was such a typical reason for him. Kind to others, and exceptionally strict with himself. He didn't run away, and he showed a firm will to always achieve his goals. It really, truly was... a reason so like him.
“Shiho-chan thinks you hate her. You should probably clear that up.”
“...Understood.”
Yamamoto had a look on his face that said, How did it turn into that? However, since he nodded obediently, it would probably be fine.
“I’m sorry.”
“Huh?” Yamamoto let out a confused sound at my apology.
“I mean, you didn't want to come back until you had results, right? But in the end, I made you come back empty-handed.”
“This trip isn't exactly empty-handed.”
“Eh?”
“I have you, don't I?”
...I hoped I wasn't making a strange face. My cheeks felt hot. He said it so naturally, as if it were obvious. It was embarrassing.
“When my parents get back, I'll introduce you properly. I'll tell them you're my precious friend.”
“...I'll be looking forward to it.”