“Well, setting aside whether my life is a success or not, the point is to stay motivated.”
“Oh, so we’re just glossing over that part, are we?”
I didn’t think my life was half-bad, but she obviously saw things differently. Realizing that pursuing this would only lead to us going in circles, I decided it was best not to press the issue.
“...So, what am I supposed to do?” Hayashi asked, as if pulling herself together.
It seemed she still had plenty she wanted to say, but she appeared willing to go along with my suggestion for now. That level of cooperation was enough for the moment.
“Right. First, let’s make a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Exactly. A roadmap to ensure you pass the February bookkeeping exam on your first try.”
“...What kind of plan?”
“To be specific, we’ll set targets for what score you should be hitting by each month. We’ll make sure you can reach those marks consistently.”
“Wouldn’t it be more efficient just to grind away at the books instead of fussing over a plan?”
“That might be true for some people, but that’s not what I’m aiming for here.”
“Which means...?”
“It’s October now. The exam is in February. That’s a total of four months. You’ve got plenty of drive now, but do you really think you can maintain this pace for the full four months?”
“...That’s...”
I didn’t say it out loud, but back in our high school days, Hayashi never seemed particularly motivated when it came to academics. In fact, I could practically feel her resentment at being forced to study. I didn’t think for a second that she could maintain her drive for four months straight. Judging by her silence, she likely agreed with my assessment.
“It’s not a bad thing. The most important thing is to look at your current situation and figure out how to keep yourself going.”
“...Yeah.”
“That’s why I suggested making a plan. Aiming blindly at passing an exam four months away is a slog, but it’ll be easier to stay motivated if we break it down into chunks—hitting this score this month, that score the next.”
“I-I guess... you’re right.”
“Plus, having a detailed plan makes it easier to track your progress. That’s something I learned firsthand from my time on the school festival executive committee.”
“Ah, I see.”
She remembered my spectacular failure on the committee back in our first year of high school. Using that as a reference point made the conversation go much faster.
“If you know your progress is lagging, you can take measures, like increasing your daily study time. If you only realize you’re behind right before the test, it’ll be too late.”
“...Hey?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, especially since you’re helping me, but... what if... what if the plan turns out to be too optimistic?”
Hayashi’s current worry was that the plan we were about to make wouldn’t be enough, and she would end up failing the exam anyway.
“No problem.”
“Is there a way to make up for it?”
“Yeah. By working hard for the next bookkeeping exam.”
“...Huh?”
Hayashi stared at me as if I’d just grown a second head.
“Th-that doesn’t achieve the objective at all!”
“No, you’re wrong.”
“...How?”
“Your ultimate objective is to eventually pass the bookkeeping exam. Setting aside obvious blunders, failing after doing your best can’t be helped. Even if you fail this time, you just have to pass the next one.”
“...But it’s still a failure.”
“Failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
Hayashi fell silent.
“If you give it your all and still fall short, at least you’ll see exactly where you went wrong.” I gave her a small smile. “Find out what went wrong, fix it, and apply that to the next attempt. That’s what life is, in the end. Just a series of those repetitions.”
It was the same for me. Because I failed miserably as a first-year committee member, I was able to prepare properly and find success as the committee chair in my third year.
“But I don’t want to fail...”
“It’s not like you’ll die if you do.”
I smiled as I looked at how deathly serious she was being. “I was criticized relentlessly after my big failure in the first year, but here I am now, living a peaceful life. You don’t die from failing.”
As I said that, I could somewhat understand her feelings. Given how easily she’d been getting depressed lately, I didn’t think it was strange for her to shrink back at the prospect of failure.
Incessant negative thinking. I realized that was another great enemy of maintaining her motivation.
For now, I’d succeeded in showing Hayashi the path forward. However, if I didn’t ease her anxiety here, it would likely affect her ability to keep going. Given her current mindset, no matter how perfect a plan I made, she would undoubtedly be overcome by doubt again soon.
Which meant that to remove her anxiety, what I needed to do wasn’t to talk about her future. Instead, I needed to dangle a new piece of bait in front of her.
“Let’s do this,” I said, snapping my fingers. “If you hit the scores in the plan, I’ll treat you to a convenience store dessert.”
My strategy was to lure her with food. It was a brilliant idea, even if I said so myself. After all, the word on the street was that girls loved sweets.
“Eh, I don’t really need that.”
“Wh-what...?”
“I don’t even like sweets that much...”
...Is that so?
I fell silent at this newly discovered fact.