I thought idly that, once in a while, it really was worth shedding a few tears.
My crying had managed to spark some life into the unmotivated Ota and Ito, and I’d even heard some heartening words from Akari. With our spirits finally lifted, we poured everything we had into racking our brains over the representative friend's speech.
However, just because we’d found our motivation didn't mean everything would suddenly take a turn for the better. If anything, our newfound determination worked against us. We were so afraid of doing a half-hearted job that we couldn't agree on a single direction.
"Anyway, thanks for staying up so late, you two."
"No problem. I'm sorry we couldn't be more help."
"Yeah. Let's talk again soon."
"Thank you."
As the clock ticked toward the middle of the night, we finally ended the marathon call.
I let out a long, heavy sigh. Despite having Ota and Ito’s cooperation, we had absolutely nothing to show for it.
"It’s pretty tough, isn't it?" Akari said.
"Yeah... Honestly, it’s so hard." I groaned and collapsed onto the floor.
My back ached. I wasn't even twenty yet, but I was already acting like a total old man.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?"
"It’s fine. I’d feel bad."
"But the last train is already gone."
I checked the clock; it was well past midnight.
"If a cute girl like Megu walks the streets alone at night, she might get attacked."
"I don't think that's very likely."
"It is. So, no."
Akari was being unusually forceful. However, her words were strictly out of concern for my safety. Far from complaining, it would have been strange for me to even get upset about it.
"Thanks. Then, I’ll take you up on that."
"In that case, shall we sleep together?"
"Together?"
"I only have one bed."
"I’d be fine with a sleeping bag or something."
"I don't have anything like that."
"...I see."
Two girls sharing a bed... well, since it was Akari, it should be fine. I wondered if it really would be, though.
I borrowed Akari’s shower, brushed my teeth, and lay down on the bed before her. A short while later, Akari returned to the living room after her own shower.
"Sorry for taking the shower first."
"No, it’s fine."
"I’ll dry your hair for you."
"Thanks."
I took the hairdryer from a smiling Akari and began drying Akari's bob hair.
Since I started living with Yamamoto, he’s often dried my hair for me. He’s a perfectionist and handles everything with such care that it actually feels quite good. Come to think of it, though, it felt like it had been a long time since I’d dried someone else’s hair.
"Thanks, Megu."
"Sure. I’ll go put this back."
When I returned from the bathroom, Akari was already on the single bed. She had shifted to the very edge to make room.
"Heave-ho." I lay down next to her.
A silence stretched between us for a moment. Then I realized I’d forgotten to turn off the lights.
"Ah, it’s okay."
Akari stopped me as I started to get up. She reached for her smartphone instead. With a few quick swipes, the lights flicked off instantly.
"Whoa."
"They're called smart home appliances. You can turn the AC on and off, or even start the washing machine, all with one smartphone. It’s incredibly convenient."
"Huh, amazing."
"...Setting aside the fact that you're machine-illiterate and wouldn't know, hasn't Yamamoto-kun introduced any of this?"
"He’s got tight purse strings, despite how he looks. He's probably the type who looks down on them in his head, thinking they aren't necessary. But I bet the moment he actually tried them, he’d get obsessed. Even then, he’d never give a five-star rating on an online shopping site; he’d always find something to nitpick. He’d leave some comment about 'future expectations' that didn't even make sense to anyone."
"That’s incredibly specific." Akari laughed.
Well, those were the results I’d seen with my own eyes after living with him for two months.
"In the end, we didn't decide a single thing today, did we?" Akari said after her laughter subsided.
She was reminding me of the unpleasant reality right before we went to sleep. There was still time before I-chan's wedding ceremony, but I had no idea how long the process would take. Deep down, I was incredibly anxious.
"Akari, are you okay to help tomorrow, too?"
"I’m okay... but it’s probably impossible."
"Eh?"
"We thought about it this much together today, and it was no good at all. So, it's probably impossible—if it's just me."
It seemed Akari had finally thrown in the towel after today's fruitless effort. It couldn't be helped. I was the one unilaterally relying on her, so even if she couldn't listen to any more of my selfishness, I should be nothing but grateful. I had no right to be angry.
"That’s not what I mean, Megu."
Akari seemed to sense my silent reaction and moved to explain herself.
"I just think there’s someone more suitable than me."
"...More suitable?"
"Thinking about it together all day... I realized it. Responsibility is heavy, isn't it?"
"...Yeah."
"Your speech, Megu, is only a few minutes out of the whole wedding ceremony. Not even ten percent of the total time. And yet, we all found ourselves thinking: what if we ruin I-chan's wedding ceremony in those few tiny minutes?"
She was right. For the past few hours, that exact thought had been lurking in the back of my mind. What kind of speech did I-chan actually want from me? What could I say that would make her happy?
I wanted to please her. I didn't want to fail. But the more I thought that, the less I was able to find a decent answer.
"...I'm sorry. I was a total burden, wasn't I?" I said.
I was the one I-chan had asked to give the speech. Not Ito, not Ota, and not Akari. From their perspective, helping me must have been an enormous nuisance.
"No. We were happy," Akari whispered. "That you relied on us, Megu."
"...Akari."
"Back in high school, you were always racing ahead all on your own. So, I was happy that you finally looked our way. I was happy to be relied on for the first time."
"I always relied on you guys, didn't I?"
"No. We were the ones relying on you."
In the pitch-black room, I tried to see Akari’s face beside me. But I couldn't see anything. I wondered what kind of expression she had right now. I wondered what she was thinking.
"...I'm sorry. Even though you relied on us, we couldn't be any help in the end."
"That’s not true."
It wasn't true at all. Not even in the slightest. Today, Akari and the others had offered so many constructive ideas for the sake of me and I-chan. Thanks to them, I could finally see the general framework. There was no way they hadn't been helpful.
...But Akari clearly wasn't satisfied with that. She wanted us to shape it together. But after these past few hours, she had realized something. She realized that she couldn't produce the thing I truly desired.
"Megu... tomorrow, when you wake up, you should go home." Akari murmured sadly. "And then, try consulting Yamamoto-kun."
Akari spoke with conviction. She knew she couldn't give it shape herself. But if it was him... if it was Yamamoto... he would surely be able to respond to my feelings.
Yamamoto, lucky you. It seems you're still the most trusted man in the world to Akari.