That night, after we finished the dinner Megumi had prepared for us, we spent the evening however we pleased.
The sound of the television filled the room. Usually, it would be punctuated by the audio from the "satisfying" videos Megumi liked to watch, but today, that sound was absent.
I stole a glance at her and saw that she was engrossed in the graduation album we had recovered from her ex-boyfriend’s room. It was his album from our high school days.
She turned the thick pages one by one, staring quietly at the contents.
I wondered what was going through her mind. She sat there with her glasses on, looking down blankly at the book, her expression impossible to read.
"Hehe."
Megumi suddenly let out a small laugh.
"Find something interesting?" I asked.
"No, I was just thinking about how there aren't any photos of you at all."
"Were you specifically looking for me?"
"Well... maybe."
She turned away awkwardly, a dry, sheepish smile playing on her lips.
"Hey, why don't we look at it together? It’s actually pretty nostalgic."
Nostalgic, huh?
That was likely a sentiment she only felt because she had enjoyed her high school years to the fullest.
"The emotion of nostalgia only exists because of a meaningful parting," I remarked.
"Oh, here we go. You’re as convoluted as ever."
"Think about it. Suppose you remembered the time you talked to a stranger at the bank while setting up a cash card. Would you feel nostalgic for them?"
"You're being incredibly roundabout."
"You wouldn't, right?"
"I mean... probably not?"
"Exactly. You wouldn't. That’s because a single encounter isn't recognized as a 'parting.' Nostalgia is an emotion born only after experiencing a separation that you recognize as such. And you can't have that kind of parting unless you’ve built a corresponding relationship beforehand."
"That’s a tedious way of putting it, but basically... you’re saying you didn’t have anyone you built that kind of relationship with in high school?"
"Precisely."
I puffed out my chest with a look of supreme confidence.
"What about Akari?"
At the mention of her name, my confidence evaporated, and I looked down.
...Right. Her.
With a sullen face, I scooted over to sit next to Megumi.
When our shoulders touched, she reflexively moved about a step away from me.
For a while, she turned the pages slowly, making sure I could follow along. The album began with the typical introductions of the school and the faculty, followed by a group photo of the teachers. I saw familiar faces like Mr. Kakogawa lined up there.
I never thought the day would come when I could look at a teacher's face and actually feel a sense of nostalgia.
Next came the class photos and individual portraits. Some students had gone for eccentric hairstyles just for the occasion; it was actually somewhat amusing to see.
After the class sections, the album chronicled the events of our three years.
Freshman year: the entrance ceremony and the forest school.
Sophomore year: internships and the school trip.
Junior year: the mock exams.
Then there were the annual events like the chorus contests and sports days. The school festival had several pages dedicated to it every year. I wondered if they were just trying to pad the page count.
"I’ll ask just to be sure, but you were the festival chairman in our third year, right?"
"I was. Even though the only photo they have of the event is the campfire."
"And this is the part where Akari was being confessed to by that guy, isn't it?"
"Yeah... it is."
Was there really a need to bring up Kasahara right now? Since that was a moment that had once deeply affected me, I could only manage a strained, complicated expression in response.
"Oh, look... at the entrance ceremony, you were the one who gave the new student representative's speech."
"Well, yeah. Contrary to appearances, I’m actually quite smart."
"Ugh, you’re so annoying."
Megumi smiled.
"I didn't remember that at all. Actually, isn't this the only time you show up in the event pages?"
"Well, I wasn't exactly trying to stand out or seek the limelight."
We moved on to the sports day pages.
The photos were filled with the "extroverts" of the school, running around in their short-sleeved physical education uniforms. The compositions were surprisingly professional, and I found myself impressed.
However...
"Their definition is lackluster," I muttered.
To someone like me, who had gone through an intense weight training phase, their physiques were nothing special. If anything, I had been in much better shape than them. It might sound like I was bragging, but that’s because I was.
"Come to think of it, I think I saw you once at that coffee shop near the school back then," Megumi said.
"The one called Pablo?"
"Right, that’s it. I’m pretty sure I saw you heading into a gym nearby. I remember it clearly because I clicked my tongue in annoyance when I saw you. Ahaha!"
...What’s so funny about that?
"Wait, were you really that into weight training?"
"I was."
"Heh. Well, don't start doing it again, okay?"
"Why not?"
"Because you have an obsessive personality. You'd go overboard and end up ruining your health."
I stayed silent. Her argument was identical to the one my parents used to give me.
The album moved on to the club activity pages and then drew to a close.
Or so I thought.
There was a section on the social history that had occurred during our time in school, and then, the final page.
It was covered in messages written in colorful highlighters and ballpoint pens.
"So nostalgic. We all spent so much time writing these for each other."
"Oh, so that’s what people did? You guys were really close, weren't you?"
"When you say 'you guys'... wait, sorry. I won't say any more."
I could guess what she was thinking the moment the words "you guys" left my mouth. She wanted to ask if I hadn't exchanged graduation messages with any friends.
The reason she stopped herself was painfully obvious.
It was so obvious that it didn't even need to be said.
"Well, I was a cynical brat back then," I said.
"You weren't being cynical, you just didn't have any friends, right?"
"Pretty much."
"Sorry. My fault for gouging open your old wounds."
"Old wounds? You’re talking like it’s some great trauma that I didn't get any messages on the last page of my album."
"It isn't? Oh, sorry. Right. You aren't really the type to care about that."
Megumi had a habit of taking my words and throwing them back at me with double the force. I was glad she understood, but I wished she’d think a little more about my feelings before she spoke.
"There are campfire photos for the second and third years, but none for the first," she noted.
"Maybe it was intentional. Some kind of targeted harassment."
"Maybe someone on the graduation album committee just really hated your guts."
"Well, I was fairly unpopular."
Megumi went quiet. I wondered if she was just appalled by my blunt self-assessment. She looked a bit lonely, so perhaps there was another reason for her silence.
She began flipping the pages back toward the front of the book. She stopped at the section containing our class's individual portraits and the group photo.
"Your eyes are half-closed here," she said, pointing at the group shot.
"I’ve always been unphotogenic."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be. I'm used to it."
"Still... everyone looks so young."
"Don't sound so wistful. You sound like an old woman."
"I can't help it. It hasn't even been a year, but so much has happened."
"I suppose that's true."
"Do you actually remember the names and faces of all your classmates?"
"Of course I do. Even if they don't remember me."
"Ehh, really? I wonder..."
Megumi pointed at a photo of one of the girls in our class, carefully hiding the name with her other hand.
"What's this girl's name?"
"Uh..."
"See? I knew it. She was my best friend. I think she'd be a little hurt that you forgot."
"No, wait. I know her. That’s Ishida, right?"
The second the words left my mouth, I knew I’d messed up. It would have been better to just play dumb and say I didn't know.
Megumi’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment before narrowing into a suspicious glare.
"Wait a second. What exactly happened between you and I-chan?"
"N-Nothing happened."
I looked away as I answered. Of course, Megumi wasn't the type of person to fall for a lie like that.