Back then, I hated Yamamoto’s defiant attitude. That was why I started hating him so one-sidedly.
…That’s right.
That was it.
I had completely forgotten that such a past even existed.
I wonder why.
Well, in the end, it was just a school festival. Once enough time had passed, the fact that a post-festival party was canceled one year didn't really matter anymore. I suppose that was all it was.
“...Hey, Akari, did you remember?”
After parting ways with Ito and Ota, Akari and I were swaying with the motion of the train home. Ito and Ota were apparently staying at a business hotel in Tokyo tonight.
They had mentioned they were going to spend tomorrow exploring the city too and asked if we wanted to join them, but I saw Akari decline with a plausible excuse, so I decided to follow her lead.
My question to Akari lacked a proper subject, making it hard to follow.
However, Akari seemed to understand exactly what I was asking, perhaps because she’d had her own thoughts on the matter ever since hearing about it at the izakaya.
“If you mean the post-festival party from our first year, yeah, I remembered.”
“...I see.”
I tightened my grip on the hanging strap.
“I forgot. Completely.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded solemnly.
Deep down, I was feeling a surge of guilt toward Yamamoto. Was it because we had become close? I had publicly scapegoated him over something I had now completely forgotten. That was where the guilt was coming from.
“...Well, it can’t be helped.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
It was rare for Akari to speak with such certainty.
Well, if Akari said so, then it must be true.
I decided to accept that feeling and put my heart at ease.
…However, a slight doubt remained.
It was a doubt born from the very same reason I felt guilty.
Right now, I was living with Yamamoto.
Right now, I harbored feelings of love for him.
For the past month and change, I had been with Yamamoto almost every day, and in that time, I had seen many sides of him.
The side of him that saved me.
The pathetic side of him.
His obsession with cleaning.
And the way he smiled.
After seeing all those different sides of him, a thought occurred to me. It was a doubt—a sense of unease.
That day, Yamamoto had said he forgot to order the wood for the campfire.
…Was that really true?
No, I wasn’t doubting that the order for the campfire wood had fallen through. It was an undeniable fact that the post-festival party hadn't been held that year, and there was no question that the lack of wood was the reason.
However, what I was questioning was…
Was that mistake really Yamamoto’s fault?
…That man.
He was diligent.
Fastidious.
Meticulous.
He was a man who pathologically hated leaving things half-finished.
Would a man like that really make such a basic, amateur mistake as forgetting to order the wood for the campfire?
“Akari, did you ever hear anything about it from Yamamoto?”
Akari shook her head weakly at my question.
“...I see.”
“Hey, Megu?”
“Then, Akari, who was the school festival executive committee member for your class in our first year?”
I spoke up, unintentionally cutting Akari off.
Whether she had something she wanted to say or not, Akari—unusually for her—looked a bit somber, a shadow crossing her features.
She hesitated for a moment.
“...Maeda-kun. He was in our class in our third year too, remember?”
“That guy.”
Maeda was in the soccer club, if I recalled correctly. I remembered him as someone who had a loud voice despite not being particularly funny.
“Akari, do you have Maeda’s contact info?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I want to ask him about what happened back then.”
Akari looked slightly surprised.
Well, even I thought I was taking an unexpected course of action.
For me, memories of high school were mostly things I loathed. Reuniting with anyone who would dig them up… if it wasn't for Yamamoto’s sake, I would have absolutely hated the idea.
…But.
If it was for Yamamoto, it wasn't a hardship at all.
I knew.
If Yamamoto knew what I was trying to do, he would surely tell me to stop.
What’s the point of knowing such things now? he'd say.
He was a man who didn't like looking back at the past.
It was because I had been touched by that mindset of his that I was finally managing to overcome the many terrors inflicted on me by my previous lover.
He would probably say my actions were meaningless.
…But.
But!
I didn't think so!
I couldn't bear the thought of him, whom I once humiliated…
And him, whom I now loved…
Continuing to be blamed for a crime he didn't commit!
Maybe my actions really were too late.
Even if I told our former classmates now that the post-festival party incident wasn't Yamamoto’s fault, no one would probably care.
After all, even I had forgotten about it because it was so long ago.
…However, I would be able to apologize to him.
If I knew the truth, I could apologize to him properly.
I, of all people, the one who had humiliated him…
I, of all people, who wanted to be with him from now on…
I was the one who needed to apologize for my mistake.
“I’m actually a little jealous.”
“Uuuu...”
“Megu, you never used to make faces like that.”
“W-What kind of face?”
“The face of a maiden in love.”
Akari hugged me right there in the train carriage.
It was nearly the last train, so there were almost no other passengers besides us. Even if there were, they were mostly dozing off, exhausted from working late. That was my only saving grace.
Well, it was embarrassing either way.
“Sorry. I don't have Maeda-kun's contact info.”
“...I-I see.”
“So, I'll try asking around, okay?”
“Eh?”
“If I find it, I'll let you know. Then, go meet him.”
“...Akari, thank you.”
Since our reunion, an awkward atmosphere had been lingering over my relationship with Akari.
And that was entirely due to my own one-sided emotions.
And yet, Akari…
I hugged Akari back.
She really was… she truly was my best friend.
So what if Akari used to date Yamamoto?
That didn't change the fact that Akari was my best friend. That was the one thing that wouldn't change.
“...I'm sorry for everything.”
“No. Don't worry about it.”
“...Someday, for sure, I’ll return the favor. I’ll help you out, Akari.”
“...In that case…”
Akari started to say something.
“No. It's nothing.”
Then, she gave a strained little laugh, a lonely look on her face.