Heroine's Perspective and Narimasu (Seventh Time)
"Hey, is it okay if I go out for a bit this Saturday?"
I was sitting in a girl-style sitting position, still clutching Yamamoto's pillow to my chest, as I asked him.
"Sure. Go ahead. Where are you heading?"
"Just... somewhere."
I found myself being intentionally vague about my plans. I didn't give a damn about Ito or Ota, but for some reason, I didn't really want to tell him I was hanging out with Akari. Why? I didn't even know myself.
"I see."
"Aren't you going to pry?"
"Do you want me to?"
"I'll never forgive you if you do."
"Then why did you even ask?"
Yamamoto looked slightly troubled. He was right, of course. For the past few minutes, my words had been nothing but a constant string of contradictions.
"Shut up. You’ll never be popular with girls if you act like that," I snapped, my face souring.
I knew I was being contradictory, and then I got grumpy when he pointed it out. The way I was acting was honestly a bit terrible.
"Anyway, are you going to let go of my pillow anytime soon?"
Ignoring him, I flopped down onto his futon again. Yamamoto let out a sigh and turned his attention back to the TV.
I had specifically told him not to dig too deep, but... being ignored like this was lonely in its own way.
"...I'm planning to meet some friends."
Notice me. Pay attention to me.
While pleading for his attention in my head, I ended up telling him what I was doing on Saturday after all.
"Got it. Then I guess I’d just be a third wheel."
Lately, whenever I went out, I’d had Yamamoto come along. It seemed he’d halfway expected to tag along this time, too. That realization only made me feel guiltier. To drown out the feeling, I hugged his pillow even tighter.
"That's good, then."
"What is?"
"That your high school friends were worried about you."
"...I doubt that's it."
"But you're meeting them, aren't you?"
"...Well, yeah, but..."
Back in high school, girls like Ito and Ota were probably just riding my coattails. They were the type of sycophants who only hung around because I had influence. If I actually met them now and told them about the total mess my life had become, I wondered how they’d react.
They’d probably say all the right things and offer their sympathy. But deep down, I bet...
"Well, just make sure Kasahara is there to back you up."
"...How did you know Akari was going to be there?"
A flicker of suspicion surged within me. How did Yamamoto know Akari was involved? Were they in contact behind my back?
I glared at him, but Yamamoto only tilted his head in confusion.
"What? I mean... you're not exactly the type to go out of your way to see high school friends."
He was right. Ever since I’d started living with my ex and everything went south, that tendency had only grown stronger.
"I figured Kasahara was the only one who could actually drag the current you out to something like that."
"...I guess so," I muttered, sounding dissatisfied. "It's kind of annoying how you see right through me."
"Sorry about that."
Why was I so annoyed with him?
Ah, I see. He’d read my feelings perfectly. That meant he’d been watching me closely every single day. Realizing just how much he saw... it made me feel a flicker of shame.
It was embarrassing, and that’s why I was annoyed. I suppose this is what people call being a tsundere.
"I'm going to sleep."
"That's my futon."
"Shut up."
"You know, you've started acting a lot more like you did back in high school lately."
Shut up, shut up.
...Idiot.
I turned my back to Yamamoto's exasperated face and closed my eyes.
A few nights later, the Saturday arrived for me to meet Akari and the others.