I woke up at the usual time that morning. As always, Hayashi was still fast asleep, her breathing soft and rhythmic. I set about cleaning the room as quietly as possible, careful not to wake her.
After I had been at it for a while, Hayashi finally stirred and sat up.
"Good morning," I said.
"…Mm."
Hayashi mumbled a reply while rubbing her sleepy eyes. Mornings were never her forte. She sat there squinting—likely a combination of her poor eyesight and lingering grogginess—and her complexion looked a bit pale, a result of her chronic poor circulation.
She remained perched on the edge of the bed for a good ten minutes, staring blankly into space before she finally hauled herself to her feet.
"Good morning."
Hayashi looked me in the eye as she greeted me.
For a while there, she couldn't even bring herself to look at me, but ever since our trip to her parents' house, she’d started meeting my gaze again. I suppose that meant I’d finally earned a decent measure of her trust.
"Morning," I replied with a small smile.
Hayashi began preparing breakfast. I washed my hands and settled in front of the TV, waiting for the meal she was fixing.
"Sorry to keep you waiting."
"I wasn't waiting."
"Shut it."
We carried her home-cooked meal to the table together and began to eat. It was a typical, everyday morning.
"You have classes until fifth period today, right?"
"Yeah."
"A full schedule from first period to fifth period... Being in Engineering sounds exhausting."
"Yeah."
"Have you made any friends yet? It's hard to make progress on exam prep when you're all alone, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"…You aren't listening to a single word I'm saying, are you?"
"Yeah."
Wait.
I had been so absorbed in the TV that my responses to Hayashi had become purely mechanical. I had the sinking feeling I’d just given the wrong answer. When I looked over at her, her face was cast in shadow.
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. Back in High School, her fiery personality had earned her the title of "The Queen," but ever since she’d moved in here, that side of her had all but vanished. Seeing her look like she was on the verge of tears only drove that point home.
"Uh… sorry."
I considered making an excuse, but I thought better of it and just gave her a sincere apology.
"…I-It’s fine."
"Fine?"
"It’s not like I’d get depressed just because you aren't listening to me."
"Say that after you look at your own face."
Dammit. I hadn't meant to provoke her, but I ended up running my mouth after getting baited by her usual contrarian attitude. A vein popped on Hayashi’s forehead.
"I said that because I was worried about you, you know?"
"I know."
"Then what was that? Only paying attention to the TV. If you love the TV so much, why don't you just marry the damn thing?"
"Hey now. It’s not like I particularly love the TV. It’s just, you know… sometimes the topic of TV comes up with friends at school."
"Not really."
"Wait, what?"
Then what on earth did you talk about with your friends back then? Were you guys just chanting a Buddhist Prayer at each other? "Whoa, the vibrato on that last prayer was incredible!" Is that how you guys hung out?
"It doesn't happen," she insisted.
"I didn't even say anything."
"It was written all over your face."
"…I see."
"…You know," Hayashi sighed. "You don't have any friends, do you?"
And there it was—the shocking truth proclaimed by Hayashi.
Usually, I told her that I didn't have many friends. Her current statement was a direct challenge to that claim.
"Well, I guess you're right."
I replied quite calmly. To be honest, despite claiming I had a few friends, I actually felt the same way she did. Wait, do I actually have zero friends? I’d wondered it myself.
The reason I hadn't dared to say it was because I figured it was fine as long as I didn't have to address it. It was the textbook definition of sweeping something unpleasant under the rug.
"I'm surprised. Since it's you, I thought you'd say something like, 'Define what a friend is,' or 'I have them. I totally have them. Just you wait—I’ll bring one here by tomorrow.'"
"What exactly am I to you?"
I’m not that much of a contrarian, am I?
...Actually, maybe I am.
"Well, it's not like I've ever been troubled by not having friends."
"What do you do about exams and stuff?"
"I'm bragging here, but I'm smart."
"Ah, right. That’s probably the part that rubs everyone the wrong way."
"In the past, when I got a Perfect Score on a test and said it was no big deal, people told me not to be so humble and that I was being obnoxious."
"Ah, yeah. I’d probably want to punch you too."
Then either way is impossible. Are you saying I should just live my life in total silence? Oh wait, that’s not much different from how I am now.
In other words, my current way of life is the optimal solution. Good grief. Breaking news: it turns out that I, a natural-born genius, had arrived at the optimal life path without even trying.
"…Don't you ever feel like you want friends?"
"Well, it's not inconvenient without them."
"…I see."
Hayashi looked somewhat dejected for some reason. Why? Even though she had revised her Rating of me somewhat, she was supposed to have hated me once. I felt like this was a moment where she should be crying tears of joy instead. Well, the fact that she didn't was likely due to her conscience. She really is a good person.
"Actually, I forgot."
"Forgot what?"
"I actually do have a friend."
"Eh? Who?"
"It's you. Guh!"
The moment the words left my mouth, Hayashi grabbed my face and twisted my neck to the side, forcing a strangled croak from my throat.
"D-Don't say things like that..."
For some reason, Hayashi’s voice was trembling.