Hayashi had suggested we take the Sea Bass, a ferry connecting Yokohama Station to Yamashita Park. However, we ended up boarding the Marine Rouge instead, which happened to arrive just as we were waiting for the next Sea Bass. While the Sea Bass functions as a form of public transit, the Marine Rouge is a proper sightseeing cruise that circles Yokohama Port. It was a bit expensive, but I figured if we were going to get on a boat anyway, we might as well enjoy a view we don’t see every day. Even Hayashi was surprised that the suggestion came from me.
Once we boarded at the port, we discovered for the first time that the ship actually housed a restaurant. We shared a laugh, joking that if we’d known sooner, we should have skipped the beef tongue for lunch and eaten here instead.
We headed straight for the Sky Deck. The sky was a cloudless, perfect blue—so clear it felt like an illusion, as if the weather itself were celebrating the start of our voyage.
We took our seats on the deck, and just as a few other passengers began to gather, the ship set sail. At that exact moment, the giant robot at Yamashita Park began to move. As the ship let out a loud roar and turned to depart, the robot pointed its index finger toward us, as if wishing us luck on our journey.
"Whoa..." Hayashi murmured beside me, her voice filled with awe.
An announcement played over the speakers as the ship glided past Daikoku Pier and headed toward the Bay Bridge. Seeing the bridge from directly underneath was a magnificent, overwhelming sight.
After passing a few more piers, the ship offered a panoramic view of Tokyo Bay.
I’ve always maintained that I don’t recognize any body of water with a far shore as a true sea. Yet, despite my earlier stubbornness, the scenery stretching out before me was undeniably beautiful. The deep, vibrant blue of the water. The fishing boats and container ships navigating the waves with absolute freedom. And in the distance, the tiny, faint line of the Aqua-Line. All of it was a world away from the sights of my mundane daily life.
"It’s an incredible view, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it really is."
I had been so absorbed in the view from the Sky Deck that it took me a while to notice something. Almost everyone else who had come up to the deck was a couple. Gazing out at the sea from a boat to create memories with a lover... I suppose it makes sense. It was a rather poetic idea.
Unlike us, the people here probably hadn't boarded this ship on a whim. They had likely spent time carefully crafting a date plan out of a pure desire to make their partner happy, and this cruise was the grand finale.
Thinking about that made me feel a bit guilty for boarding so casually. But since there was no one I needed to apologize to, I obviously didn't say a word.
"...Well, Hayashi?" I asked.
I couldn't help but wonder. Facing the most impressive moment of the day, what was she thinking?
Sure, I hadn't made some elaborate plan to entertain her like those other guys. As long as I was personally enjoying myself, that was usually enough for me. Besides, she and I... we weren't lovers.
And yet, I found myself asking her anyway. Because...
"Are you having fun?"
We weren't a couple. But I still wanted her to enjoy this. I wanted her to look at this irreplaceable scenery and see her eyes sparkle with wonder. That was my genuine wish.
"...I am," she replied.
"That's good."
"It's not just because of where we are, though."
"...Eh?"
"...Ah, sorry. I mean, it is partly because we're here."
"Well, which one is it?"
"...Um, what I mean is... I’m glad I could come here with you."
My heart gave a sudden, sharp thud in my chest.
"...I'm glad I came here with you, and no one else."
I couldn't find any words to respond.
"What about you?"
What did I think about being here with Hayashi?
It was the same. Exactly the same. Right now, being here with her and no one else, I was feeling the exact same thing she was.
Which meant...
"I guess it's not bad."
I was glad I came here with her. The only reason my response sounded so dismissive was the sheer embarrassment raging inside my soul.
"I see. So it's 'not bad,' huh?"
Hayashi laughed happily. She looked as though I had just said something that made her instinctively joyful—as if she were delighted to find that her feelings and mine were perfectly in sync.
I decided to go back to staring at the scenery. I felt like if I kept looking at her, I’d succumb to a very dangerous thought. Specifically... the feeling that I didn't want her to leave my house.
It was the same emotion I’d felt earlier. One I had shaken my head to deny, telling myself it was a feeling I shouldn't have. But this second time it surfaced, it demanded an answer. It asked me why, exactly, I had to kick her out. I couldn't come up with a single convincing reason.
Of course I couldn't. After all, she never interfered with my hobbies, and she did all the housework. While her leaving would certainly make my life more difficult, her staying caused me no trouble at all.
And yet, I still felt she shouldn't stay in my room any longer.
...Probably because I knew it would be the end of me. Not her. Me.
Back in high school, I hated her. But after those three years, I had come to acknowledge her—even if she still acted like an arrogant queen from time to time. When I found out she was suffering, I couldn't just stand by, so I took her in. I told myself it was to protect her.
But lately, I’ve started to feel like she's the one protecting me. I’m beginning to grow dependent on her selfless kindness.
As I thought, my high-school self was right. She isn't a queen. She's a bit short-tempered, terrifying when she's angry, incredibly kind, and stubborn to a fault.
No, in a way, she is a queen. Not a tyrant, but a queen like a Great Mother—a symbol of protection and kindness. And a person like that has no business wasting her time by my side anymore.
"...Give it your all, living on your own," I said, offering her words of encouragement.
"Well, it's my second time, so I'll manage somehow."
"If you ever run into trouble, let me know."
"Thanks. I'll probably end up relying on you for all sorts of things again."
"...Take care of yourself."
"...Yeah!"
I had no regrets. I thought I would feel more remorseful, but being able to part on good terms like this was more than I could have asked for. Uncharacteristically, I let a gentle smile cross my face. I offered a silent prayer for her long-lasting happiness.
The ship slowly continued its loop around Yokohama Port. Sunlight reflected off the swaying surface of the water, and Hayashi squinted slightly against the glare. She looked genuinely happy.
I realized then that I would probably never forget this sight for as long as I lived.
The next morning, Hayashi left the house earlier than usual. She was heading to the real estate agency to sign the contract for the apartment she had viewed before.
Soon, this room would feel spacious again. With that thought lingering in my mind, I waited alone for her return.
"I'm home."
It was likely Hayashi’s final greeting.
"Welcome back," I replied. "How did it go?"
I looked at her face as she entered the room. I realized then that I probably wouldn't be able to forget this expression of hers either.
With a wry, troubled smile, Hayashi looked down at the floor.
"Wait, what happened?"
"...I need to talk to you," she said. "I couldn't sign the contract."
"Huh?"
"The joint guarantor... well, I've been disowned by my parents, right? And I'm still a minor."
Hayashi gave a helpless, weary laugh. On the other hand, I was stunned into silence. Then, as the realization sank in...
"Ahahaha!"
I started laughing.
"Ahahaha! I see! A joint guarantor. Ahaha, right, of course! ...Ahahahahaha!"
"Hey, you're laughing way too hard at my misfortune."
"Sorry, sorry. Heh heh... Sorry. Seriously, I'm sor—cough. Hack, hack."
I choked on my own laughter, and a worried Hayashi started rubbing my back.
"What is wrong with you?" Her voice was colder than usual.
"Sorry, sorry. Ahaha."
"Is he still laughing?"
"No, it's not that. You've got it wrong. ...Man, I really worried for nothing."
I wiped away tears of laughter as Hayashi gave me a suspicious look.
"...Yamamoto, do you know what I was about to ask you?"
"Hmm?"
"Before... you said no at first, didn't you?"
She was talking about when we were at the police station. Back then, she had been looking for a place to stay because she was fleeing her ex. After a lot of arguing, she ended up in my room, but I had been against the idea until the very last second.
Hayashi was speaking provocatively now. Back then, she had told me she would do anything. Since moving in, she had been true to her word, handling the chores and staying out of my way.
Her request was obvious. She wanted to stay here again, just like before. And she was waiting to see if my answer would be yes or no.
I had told myself she shouldn't be here because she was too good for someone like me. But in reality, she was just a girl who couldn't even rent a room on her own—a vulnerable teenager who would be out on the streets if I turned her away.
Of course, that was just a convenient excuse. The "I can't let her wander the streets" justification had landed right in my lap, and I was going to use it to ignore everything I had been thinking until five minutes ago. That was all there was to it.
But I know how people work. Humans can do anything as long as they have a justification. And I... well, I can only live for my own selfish sake.
"Until you find the next place, then," I said with a smile.
"...Thanks."
"I'll ask just in case, but you're really okay with this? Living with a guy like me is nothing but a pain."
"You're right. It's been pretty tough."
"Hey."
"But more than that... it's been fun."
Fun, huh? I hadn't expected her to feel that way. I thought that, from her perspective, living here was just a last resort.
"...I see."
"Are you happy about it?"
"I guess it's not bad."
I wondered if the true meaning behind my words reached her.
"Well, that's good then," Hayashi said, her smile both exasperated and kind.