There was Phoenix-san, the perverted bird and an absolute physical masochist who found pleasure in pain to a staggering degree. Beside her stood Tiamat-san, a perverted snake with serial killer tendencies who derived joy from psychological distress and felt a compulsion to kill anyone she considered a friend. Encountering them was easily the worst-case scenario I could have imagined.
"My God! What an honor to see you in a place like this!" Phoenix-san proclaimed.
"Phe—Phoenix-san, please, keep your voice down... you're attracting a lot of attention."
To be blunt, the two of them stood out far too much. Phoenix-san, a bird formed of green flames, was one thing, but Tiamat-san was a giant lamia. They were impossible to miss.
A significant crowd had already gathered to stare at us, and having her shout "My God" in the middle of it all was more than I could handle.
"Attention? I see. If it pleases My God, permit me a moment... I shall go burn everyone in the vicinity to death."
"No, wait! Stop! Stop right there! You definitely don't need to do that!"
"Mumu? If that is what My God commands, then I shall refrain."
What was with this person—no, bird? Her thought process was way too radical. Just because I mentioned they were drawing eyes, she concluded that the gazes were making me uncomfortable, which meant the bystanders were being disrespectful and needed to be purged. It was insane.
Worse, she had shifted from her excited, high-spirited tone to having a cold, fixed look in her eyes in an instant. If I hadn't stopped her, I had no doubt she actually would have burned them all to death.
"...Ah, as I expected, the festival is so crowded. Seeing everyone so full of life warms my heart," Tiamat-san mused. "Oh, but look at all the people here I feel I could get along with. I'm sure we'd become the best of friends—friends who could open their hearts to one another until we are truly inseparable..."
"You won't! You absolutely won't, so please don't even talk to them!" I shouted.
"...Is that so? How tragic."
Tiamat-san was the type to feel an impulse to kill anyone she grew close to. To her, "making friends" was practically a declaration of murder.
Both of them were just too much, and far too dangerous. I had to make sure they didn't notice the others, or things would get really ugly.
"...Aoi-san, Hina-san, please stay behind me," Sky-san said firmly. "These two are exceptionally dangerous entities. There's no telling how they might influence you, so it might be best if you covered your ears as well."
As expected of the ever-capable Sky-san, she quickly shielded Aoi and Hina, making sure to keep Phoenix-san and Tiamat-san out of their line of sight.
"...Those are the Monsters of the Black Forest, aren't they?" Caraway whispered.
"Monsters of the Black Forest?" Anima asked, tilting her head.
"They're dangerous monsters that appear in fairy tales back in the Demon Realm," Caraway explained.
"Along with the necromancer known as the Martyr of Death, they're famous for being some of the most dangerous beings in the Demon Realm... I think," Eta and Theta added, providing context for Anima.
I'd heard before that the Black Forest where Tiamat-san lived was a perilously dangerous place even by Demon Realm standards, but it seemed Tiamat-san herself was recognized as a legendary threat. Well, that certainly checked out.
"...Uh, are you two here for the White God Festival too?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation. "Actually, are you two even on good terms?"
"Yes, we go quite a long way back," Phoenix-san replied.
"Indeed," Tiamat-san added. "You could say she is my dearest best friend. Ah, such a wonderful friend... Oh, I can't hold back any longer... Phoenix, may I kill you now?"
"Please, make it hurt!" Phoenix-san cried out. "Use the most painful method you can think of!"
In that one exchange, I finally understood the nature of their relationship. Tiamat-san had a fetish for killing those she loved, and Phoenix-san was an immortal masochist who was delighted to be killed by her friends. Their mutual desires aligned perfectly. They were a match made in hell.
"...Wait, stop! What do you think you're doing in public like this?"
"I was thinking of strangling her with my coils," Tiamat-san said.
"Oh, strangulation sounds lovely!" Phoenix-san chirped. "I like that very much. Being crushed against a wall by Tiamat's body creates an addictive pressure. Two or three times, please!"
What was I supposed to do with these perverts? They were completely out of control. Just as I looked up at the sky, despairing over their insanity, a familiar voice reached my ears.
"Good grief..."
Alice appeared before me as she spoke. She wore a smile so radiant it was practically blinding as she turned her beaming gaze toward Phoenix-san and Tiamat-san.
The two of them immediately snapped to attention, bodies stiff with terror. I could have sworn that Phoenix-san's green flames were actually turning blue.
"...I forgot," Phoenix-san whispered. "Now that I think about it, she was here. This is bad. This is really, really bad."
"The smile. She's wearing a very bright smile," Tiamat-san added. "When Shaltier-sama makes that face, it means she's genuinely angry... We're about to see hell, aren't we? This is so sad."
It was a rare sight—those two lunatics were absolutely petrified. Alice was incredible. To strike that much fear into those two dangerous individuals... I supposed I should expect nothing less from the Phantasm King. At any rate, I was finally safe.
Serious-senpai: "A smile is originally an aggressive expression."