"Something... feels off."
On a peaceful early afternoon, while we were enjoying some idle chatter over a cup of delicious black tea, Kuro suddenly stood up and muttered those words.
Well, Kuro coming out with something completely unexpected was more or less her usual routine, but I didn't have a particularly good feeling about it.
"What do you mean, something's off?"
"The... formation, maybe?"
Ah, I knew it. This was going to turn into a headache. I'd asked a question and received an answer, yet the mystery had only deepened. It made no sense at all.
There was actually one other person present besides Kuro and me, someone who was currently sipping her tea with an air of complete indifference.
"And so, Shiro! We’re going with Plan B!"
"What is Plan B?"
"I don't know, let's just go with the flow!"
"I see."
The person who proposed it had no plan?! And Shiro-san, why were you nodding like that made sense?
Just as we had promised before, the three of us—Kuro, Shiro-san, and I—had come to the usual Hanging Garden to have tea today, but it seemed things weren't going to end peacefully.
Kuro and Shiro-san exchanged a look and gave each other a synchronized nod.
Then, with a light flick of Shiro-san’s finger, the table and the tea vanished, and the chair I was sitting on began to shift.
It had been a perfectly normal single-seater until a moment ago, but for some reason, it stretched out into something resembling a park bench. It was as if it were waiting for someone to sit next to me... okay, time to run.
Wait, that’s strange... my body wouldn't move. What was happening? They were doing something, weren't they? They were definitely pinning me down with some kind of magical power.
Kuro and Shiro-san then sat down on the long bench, effectively sandwiching me between them.
"Yep. This is perfect!"
"Wh-What is?!"
"Operation R, I guess?"
"Didn't you just call it Plan B?!"
Kuro, whose actions were entirely dictated by whatever whim popped into her head, gave me a bright smile as she sat beside me. She looked incredibly adorable, and my heart gave an involuntary throb.
There was nothing I could do anymore. I understood perfectly well that I couldn't escape, so I resigned myself to my fate.
However... why was she clinging to my right arm?! It was so soft... no, that wasn't the point!
"K-Kuro?! What are you..."
"Mmm, Kaito-kun is so warm."
"No, I wasn't asking for a review of my body temperature..."
Kuro clung to me, rubbing her cheek against my arm. I felt my face grow incredibly hot as I tried to speak, but Kuro didn't seem to care at all, looking like she was having the time of her life.
This was bad. I didn't even know why it was bad, but it was definitely bad.
Feeling her body heat through our contact made my head feel fuzzy, as if I were coming down with a fever. I tried my best to remain calm, but then a further, more ruthless pursuit was launched against me.
"..."
"Wait! Even Shiro-san?! What are you doing?!"
"It is Plan B."
"So what exactly is Plan B?! Wait, you're touching..."
On the opposite side, Shiro-san had imitated Kuro and hugged my left arm. The marshmallow-like sensation being pressed against me was unmistakably hers... awawawa.
"Hehe, this is perfect now!"
"Wh-What is?"
"Eh? Since Kaito-kun has 'flowers for hands' right now, the formation should look like this, shouldn't it?"
"It's 'flowers in each hand'! If my hands are literally flowers, I'm some kind of monster! No, first of all, that’s a metaphor! It doesn't mean literally sticking to my arms!"
"Is that so? Well, don't worry about the little things. Come on, let's get back to our tea."
My cries of panic at being sandwiched between a beautiful girl and a stunning woman failed to reach the smiling Kuro. When she announced that we were resuming our tea, Shiro-san flicked her finger again, and a long table appeared in front of us. Now even the way forward was blocked. I really couldn't escape.
"Fufufu, truth be told, I’ve prepared a new baby castella just for today."
"I don't know why, but I have a very bad feeling about this."
Her obsession with baby castella was as strong as ever. Lately, I’d been seriously wondering if Kuro’s true identity wasn't the Underworld King, but rather the Spirit of Baby Castella.
Well, her bringing out baby castella was a regular occurrence, so that was fine, but the problem was the word "new."
Hearing that, the memory of a baby castella stuffed with wasabi I’d eaten once before flashed through my mind. I really hoped she wouldn't do something like that again; I just wanted at least a decent, normal snack...
"Why is it silver?!"
That was strange. The baby castella I knew was brown. In fact, brown was the basic standard.
Well, of course, I’d seen orange bread and things like that before, and it wasn't unusual to knead something into the dough to change the color.
But, uh... what kind of ingredient resulted in metallic silver? Did she mix in mercury? I was going to die, wasn't I? Yeah, no doubt about it. This was something I shouldn't eat.
"Come on, Kaito-kun. Have some!"
"..."
Those words, spoken with a radiant smile, sounded like a death sentence. No, no, this was wrong, wasn't it?! That was not a color meant for human consumption!
I wanted to run away. But if I said I didn't want to eat it, Kuro would probably be sad. I didn't want to see her looking sad, but that didn't mean I wanted to put this terrifying object in my mouth either.
It was a classic deadlock.
"N-No, look... m-my hands are full right now..."
I tried a desperate excuse, pointing out that both my arms were being held. Neither of them seemed inclined to let go, so I thought it was a pretty good way to dodge the situation.
"In that case, I’ll feed it to you."
"..."
Reality is cruel. Hearing my words, Kuro smiled as she picked up a baby castella and held it to my lips.
It was a wonderful situation where a cute girl was giving me the "ahn" treatment. It should have been a very happy moment... if the food being offered wasn't a one-way ticket to the afterlife.
"Here, Kaito-kun. Say ahn."
"A-Ahn."
Overwhelmed by Kuro’s adorable expression, I slowly opened my trembling mouth while a chill ran down my spine.
The silver lump was tossed into my mouth. It was unimaginably soft given its appearance... and it was so disgusting it made my hair stand on end.
"..."
"Kaito-kun?"
What on earth was this flavor? It was as if someone had boiled down muddy water, coated it in chocolate, and then topped it with Tabasco and heavy cream. Bitterness, sweetness, spiciness, sourness—all of it merged together into a horrific foulness that colonized my taste buds.
It felt like the contents of my stomach were about to surge back up. My entire body was rejecting it. I didn't even want to chew, let alone swallow.
Even so, with tears in my eyes and a feeling like I was dying, I managed to force it down. Gasping for air, I finally overcame it. Feeling a sense of relief, I slowly questioned Kuro.
"K-Kuro... did you taste this?"
"Nope. I wanted Kaito-kun to be the first one to eat it."
"I see... Listen, this is... mgh?!"
It was deathly disgusting. The moment I tried to say those words, another helping was somehow tossed into my mouth.
As the unprecedented foulness attacked me once again, my brain’s defense mechanisms must have kicked in, as my consciousness rapidly began to fade.
"K-Kaito-kun?! Are you okay?! Hang in there!"
"Kuro... in the future... please... taste... it..."
"Kaito-kuuuuun?!"
Amidst my vanishing consciousness, I shifted my gaze just a tiny bit. There, I saw the culprit who had imitated Kuro and tossed the silver baby castella into my mouth, tilting her head in confusion.
Shiro-san... I knew it was you.