After a perfunctory greeting, Hapty—as Alice was calling herself now—completely ignored the dazed Lilia and set off with the three of us in tow.
As we walked down the road toward the Adventurer Guild in the Royal Capital, Hapty spoke up with a cheerful lilt.
"Now then, let's do proper introductions. My name is Hapty. The Phantasm King commissioned me to act as your guardian for this little outing. It’ll be a short stint, but I look forward to working with you. Something like that? If you want to know more about me, additional information requires a fee."
"H-Huh… Er, I’m Kaito Miyama."
"I’m Aoi Kusunoki. Um, I’m in your care today."
"I’m Hina Yuzuki. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Prompted by Hapty’s lead, we introduced ourselves as we walked.
"Kaito, Aoi, and Hina. Got it. Well, let's not be so stiff. Just take it easy. You can call me whatever you like."
"Y-Yes… Um, we just left without explaining anything to Lilia-san. Was that really all right?"
"Hm? Oh, explaining things wouldn't have earned me a single cent. The Phantasm King commissioned me to protect you three; dealing with that noblewoman is outside the scope of my contract."
"I-I see…"
Hapty spoke with such blunt pragmatism that Aoi, who had been worried about leaving Lilia and the others in a state of shock, could only blink. From this brief exchange, it was already clear that Hapty was incredibly meticulous about money.
Noin had described her as a total money-grubber, but it seemed the assessment was quite an understatement.
While I was mulling that over and engaging in light small talk, I heard a sudden thud, like something hitting the ground. I turned toward the sound and saw…
"…Wait, ah… H-Hapty?"
The timing was almost too perfect to be a coincidence. Standing behind us was Noin.
Fia-sensei was beside her, and a grocery bag lay at Noin's feet, evidently dropped in shock. The two must have been out shopping together.
Noin rushed toward Hapty, her astonishment palpable even through her heavy armor.
"Hapty! It really is you, isn't it?! To think I’d find you in a place like this…"
"Eh? Who is this 'Full-body Armored Pervert Woman'? Why are you talking to me all of a sudden? Honestly, the aura of suspicion radiating from you is staggering. I have to question your sanity for walking down the Main Street dressed like that…"
"Ghah!?"
"N-Noin-saaaaaan!?"
Hapty’s words were so razor-sharp that Noin actually sank to her knees from the sheer mental damage. Granted, Noin’s outfit did stand out in the middle of a city, but since she had reasons for hiding her face, I felt her situation was somewhat unavoidable.
Despite the heavy emotional blow, Noin immediately scrambled back to her feet and approached Hapty again.
"…It's me! Um… Look, j-just come over here for a second!"
"Eh? Hey, what's with the sudden grabbing…?"
Noin looked as though she were about to identify herself as Hikari Kujou, but perhaps realizing they were in a crowded area, she grabbed Hapty by the hand and dragged her into a nearby alleyway.
It was forceful, but considering Noin was reuniting with a companion she hadn't seen in a thousand years, her panic was understandable.
"I’m sorry about Noin," Fia-sensei said with a wry smile.
"No, given the situation, it can't be helped."
The rest of us shared a look and followed them into the alley.
Once we were out of sight, Fia-sensei snapped her fingers. A magic circle appeared at her feet, expanded, and then faded away.
"…Fia-sensei, what was that?"
"Oh, just a Barrier Magic spell. It’s a simple one that keeps people from entering a specific area."
"Is that something I could use too?" Aoi asked.
"This one isn't very difficult. Are you interested in Barrier Magic?"
"I just thought it seemed like it would be really convenient."
Both Aoi and Hina had met Fia-sensei at my birthday party, so they were already on friendly terms. As Fia-sensei began explaining the basics to Aoi, I looked ahead to see Noin—who had deactivated her armor—standing with Hapty.
"Look, it's me! It's Hikari!"
"Ah, yeah, long time no see. Later."
"Eeeeh?! Wait, hold on! That’s way too cold for a reunion after a thousand years!"
"I'm in the middle of a job right now, so…"
"I have so many things I’ve wanted to ask you!"
"Ehh… I have a feeling this is going to be a massive pain, so I’ll pass."
Hapty dealt with the desperate Noin at her own pace, attempting to brush her off and return to us. At that moment, Noin let out a heavy sigh, pulled out a single copper coin, and pressed it into Hapty’s palm.
Hapty tucked the coin into her pocket instantly and turned back to me, clasping her hands together with an apologetic look.
"Sorry! Could you guys give me a few minutes?"
"Eh? Oh, sure. No problem."
"Thanks! Now then—wow, Hikari! It’s been ages! I missed you so much!"
The instant she secured our permission, Hapty did a complete 180-degree turn, greeting Noin with such over-the-top friendliness that it made her previous cold shoulder seem like a hallucination.
Noin’s forehead creased with visible irritation at the blatant display, but she forced herself to stay calm.
"…You really haven't changed a bit. Honestly… Fine, whatever. More importantly, there's something I need to ask you."
"So you said. What is it?"
"First, why did you disappear without even attending the commemorative ceremony after the Friendship Treaty was signed? Laguna and Falce were both worried sick."
"Ehh… Why bother? I wouldn't have earned even 1R by standing around at a ceremony. I wasn't interested."
"…That’s just like you, I suppose. Fine. But what's more important is…"
Noin grabbed Hapty by the shoulders. She was smiling, but the sheer pressure radiating from her was terrifying.
"…Around the time of that ceremony, it seems 'roughly ten percent of the treasures' vanished from the treasuries of various nations. You're the one who did it, aren't you?"
"Good grief. Accusing me without even checking the facts? Are you really doubting a party member who shared your joys and sorrows?"
"Precisely because we’re companions who spent so much time together, myself, Laguna, and Falce were all of one mind on this… We knew the culprit was definitely you."
"Well, yeah, it was me."
"I knew it!! What were you thinking?! Do you have any idea how awkward it was for the three of us when we found out? Luckily, the leaders of those countries were generous enough to say 'Let's just call it a reward for the Hero Party,' but you could have easily ended up on a wanted list!"
"…I think it was a fair reward. I mean, look, I worked really hard to help kill the Demon King."
"Stealing it is the problem, dammit!!"
I stood there, stunned by the revelation. Hapty was a real piece of work. No wonder Noin was fuming. I finally understood why she had called her a trouble-making money-grubber.
Noin trembled with rage for a moment before letting out another long sigh, seemingly resigned to Hapty’s nature.
"Phew… well, since it was eventually forgiven, there's no point in complaining about a thousand-year-old crime now. I'll let it go."
"…Was that all you wanted to ask?"
"No, that was just a warm-up. This is the real issue."
"Hm? Uh, Hikari? Your grip is getting a little tight. It actually really hurts…"
Noin’s anger seemed to be escalating further. The force she was putting into Hapty’s shoulders was clearly increasing.
"…Something is very strange, you see. I could understand a discarded letter or two. Maybe I forgot to burn them. But… don't you think 'diaries' are a bit much? And what's more, isn't it suspicious that instead of whole books, they've been appearing at auctions in small batches of a few pages at a time?"
"…Ah."
That clicked. I remembered the auction at the Six Kings Festival. Finding a few stray pages of a diary from a thousand years ago once or twice might be a coincidence, but if it had happened multiple times, there was clearly a pattern.
"I know I didn't leave those diaries lying around. I kept them locked away. But when I got suspicious and checked… I found that several of my old diary books had been swapped for blank ones!"
"…Tee-hee."
"Haptyyyyyyyy!?"
"Hieee! Wait, wait, let's be calm! We can talk this through peacefully!"
"Oh, absolutely. Let's have a very peaceful talk… If you ever put those up for sale again, I will take your head right off your shoulders."
"…Yes, ma'am."
So Hapty had been stealing Noin’s diaries and selling them off page by page. I couldn't blame Noin for being furious; she was showing remarkable restraint by not drawing her sword.
Noin lectured her for a while longer, but eventually, the bond of their old friendship—or perhaps the realization that Hapty was incorrigible—won out. She let out a third sigh and ended the scolding.
"…Done lecturing? Good, let's move on. Here, this is for you."
Hapty, who didn't seem to have learned a single thing, pulled out a massive burlap sack with a grin and handed it to Noin.
"…What is this?"
"Don't sell me short. I have a sense of loyalty, too. This is your share of the profits!"
"Why are you acting like we were business partners? I'm a victim whose stolen property was sold without permission… Though, setting that aside… isn't this way too much? I can't imagine a few diary pages would sell for this kind of money."
"Oh, that's because half of the profits from the 'Hikari Manju' are in there, too."
"That was your doing, toooooooo!?"
"Uhyee!?"
Apparently, just when things seemed resolved, another scandal came to light. I had to wonder just how much trouble Hapty had caused over the centuries.
"I thought that product was suspicious! There are plenty of things sold with the 'Hero' label, but usually people are considerate enough not to use my actual name. I wondered why that one brand used it so blatantly…"
"Come on, it's not like your name is a limited resource."
"That isn't the point! I’ve been wanting to give the developer of those things a piece of my mind! Listen to me—those aren't 'Manju,' they're 'Daifuku'! I refuse to recognize anything that doesn't use wheat flour as a Manju!"
"Wait, that’s what you’re mad about? Besides, I just came up with the idea and told them to make something like that. I didn't develop the final recipe… But hey, weren't they good?"
"…The flavor itself was of excellent quality. However, if I were to be picky, I’d say they were a bit too sweet for my taste…"
"You called it traditional sweets, right? You're as obsessed as ever, Hikari."
The conversation had shifted into normal small talk before I even noticed. Although Noin looked exasperated, she actually seemed to be enjoying herself.
Watching them, I realized that despite everything, they were companions who had traveled the world together. Their bond was real, even if it was built on a foundation of petty theft and sweets.
Hapty
A former member of the Hero Party that defeated the Demon King. While she calls herself a chivalrous thief, the world generally views her as a common thief—though based on her actual activities, she functions more like a treasure hunter.
She was actually the very first companion of the Hero Party; the journey originally began with just Noin and Hapty.
She vanished after the Friendship Treaty was signed and was officially listed as missing. However, she has sent a letter and a birthday gift to Noin once a year on her birthday—usually strange pottery or mysterious fossils. Thus, Noin was the only one who knew Hapty was alive, and she eventually learned that Hapty was working for the Phantasm King. (Since she was sworn to secrecy, Noin never told Laguna or Falce.)
For a long time, Noin could only receive the gifts without being able to reply, but about a hundred years ago, Hapty sent her a special box she found on her travels. The box teleports back to its owner when activated, allowing Noin to send letters back. They now maintain a once-a-year correspondence.
To Noin, Hapty is an irreplaceable best friend. Regarding the diary incident, although Noin told her she wouldn't forgive her if it happened again, she hasn't actually demanded their return, feeling that as long as Hapty is the one holding them, it’s fine.
The circular pouch worn on Hapty's waist was a return gift from Noin, custom-made to match Hapty's preferred weaponry.
As a side note, within the persona Alice has crafted, the true identity of Nightmare—the world's top-ranked player of the board game Nagelist—is Hapty.