One afternoon, I was strolling through the city, browsing the various shops while on my way to buy a new diary. Compared to before, the amount I wrote had decreased significantly, but keeping a diary had become a habit of mine, so I still jotted things down every day.
The diary I’d bought last time hadn’t been quite right—the line spacing didn't suit me—so I was looking for something different this time. As I walked along, I spotted a familiar back up ahead.
"Hello, Shia-sa—"
"What does the world need?"
"—Excuse me?"
"I am asking you what the world needs."
The woman spoke with her arms crossed, her back still turned toward me. As I tilted my head in confusion, she continued without waiting for an answer.
"What the world needs is...! It isn't passion or ideology! It isn't philosophy or intellect!! Much less is it dignity or elegance! Nor is it diligence or speed!! Yes, what the world lacks above all else is..."
"..."
"Seriousness! We! Lack! Seriousness!"
"...It was the Senpai version."
The person shouting nonsense with total confidence the moment we met had the exact same face as Shia-san... Yes, it was the self-proclaimed Incarnation of Seriousness, Serious-senpai. Incidentally, "Senpai" was part of her name. Between her Gag Correction and her immortality, her very existence was quite unconventional.
...Actually, I suppose there were quite a few people around me whose very existence was unconventional.
"...A bit of a weak reaction, don’t you think?"
"No, please give me a break. You suddenly swing the conversation at me with that kind of energy the moment we meet—it’s impossible to match it..."
"I suppose that’s true..."
She often said things that made no sense, but she was surprisingly reasonable—or rather, when it didn't involve the concept of "seriousness," she was a relatively common-sensical person.
Talking in the middle of a busy street was awkward, so we moved to a nearby park to continue our conversation.
"...It’s been a while. About a year, right?"
"Yeah. It seems 'the door to my room opens and I can go outside only once a year.'"
"..."
Wait, what? Was she undergoing some kind of special torture? No, despite that, she didn't seem sorrowful at all. Even when she came out like this, she didn't ask for help; instead, she just did nonsensical things like "Searching for Seriousness."
"...Actually."
"Yeah?"
"Are you kidding me right now, you jerk?!"
"Whoa?! W-What is it all of a sudden...?"
She suddenly grabbed me by the collar, shouting. When I asked her what was wrong, Senpai screamed with tears in her eyes.
"There hasn’t been any seriousness at all since we entered Part 2! Back in Part 1, we at least had a 'sprinkle-of-salt-on-a-watermelon' amount of it!!"
"Huh? Part 2? Watermelon? What on earth are you talking about...?"
"Everything’s stabilized into 'mostly heartwarming, occasionally flirtatious'! What do you mean heartwarming?! Do something serious! Where did my seriousness go?!"
Most of what she said was incomprehensible, but since she’d rambled like this before, I figured worrying about it was a waste of time. Also, she was grabbing my collar extremely gently; I didn't feel constricted at all. I was at a loss for how to react.
After venting her frustrations for a while, Senpai suddenly looked like she’d realized something and let go of my shirt.
"Well, I guess there’s no point in telling you... S-Sorry for grabbing you so hard. Is your shirt wrinkled?"
"It’s fine, don't worry about it. You've clearly been through a lot of... hardship, haven't you, Senpai?"
"You’re so kind...!"
One moment she was screaming, the next she was acting bashful or looking moved. As usual, her mood swings were intense—her emotions switched with the speed of a Jet Coaster.
"...So, you're out searching for seriousness again?"
"Exactly! And while I'm at it, I thought I'd eat something delicious..."
"Wasn't that second part your main goal? Come to think of it, Senpai, are you still only eating Baby Castella and cocoa?"
Apparently, Senpai was effectively confined to a room stocked with nothing but vast amounts of Baby Castella and cocoa. She’d been living that hellish culinary life for a long time.
...There wasn't any foul play involved, was there? The situation was just too bizarre. Also, if it wasn't my imagination, I had a feeling Kuro was involved. Alice was the one who came to pick up Senpai before, and when it came to Baby Castella... she was definitely involved.
Still, I didn't really understand the deal. Was she being imprisoned? No, she was out here visiting the Royal Capital like normal. It was a mystery why she lived in that room by choice. I had a feeling it was a topic I shouldn't touch.
"No, lately a Logistics God has been showing up frequently, so things have become much more comfortable. When I said I was going to the Royal Capital this time, she 'gave me money'... but it’s a Platinum Coin. Can I use this in normal shops?"
"No, unless it’s a high-end store, you can't use it without exchanging it first. If you like, I can exchange it for you later."
"Thanks, that helps."
A Platinum Coin was equivalent to ten million yen, so it was impossible to use in a normal shop. Most shops on the main streets would even refuse Gold Coins; they usually only accepted up to Silver Coins. Well, you could exchange them at a large trade guild, so there were ways to handle it.
But putting that aside... a Logistics God? Hearing that such a person existed made me even more curious about what kind of space that room was. Senpai said she was the materialization of the concept of seriousness, so I suppose it wouldn't be strange for such a god to exist, but...
"Well, in any case, it’s good that you were able to meet a nice person... or God?"
"...A nice... person?"
"Eh? Is she not?"
"Mmm... I'm really torn on that. There are certainly many benefits, and her basic personality isn't that bad, but... the landmine traits are the problem."
"Landmine traits?"
"If you bring up a specific topic, she'll 'warp the flow of time' and talk to you for 'hundreds of millions of hours' until she brainwashes you. She also 'frequently goes berserk' and repeats crazy statements. Since her own specs are abnormal, you can't even stop her... And even if I avoid the landmines, she 'steps on them herself and goes berserk' quite often..."
"...U-Um."
Senpai continued to talk about this Logistics God for a while, and the more I heard, the more it sounded like the person was nothing short of insane.
After listening to the whole story, I spoke to Senpai with a serious expression.
"...Um, Senpai. It might be rude of me to interfere in your social life, but... based on what I've heard, I think that person is a very dangerous individual. You should probably keep your distance..."
"I know that! Besides, rather than being my connection, she's actually 'your connection,' isn't she?!"
"...Eh?"
"...Hey, let’s put that aside and get back to the main topic."
"Ah, right, you wanted to eat something delicious? I can introduce you to a few places."
"Really?! Man, I'm looking forward to it. The place you took me to before was delicious too—wait, that’s not it!!"
A smooth nori-tsukkomi... This reaction was so sharp it was like she responded the moment she was struck. As expected of Senpai, she seemed to be quite a formidable veteran of comedy.
"It’s just past lunchtime, so the shops should be empty. Shall we talk while we walk? Broadly speaking, would you prefer meat or fish?"
"Hmm, it’s hard to choose... but I think I'll go with meat. I'd like chicken."
"Chicken, then. Did you want a spicy seasoning?"
"I'll eat almost anything, but I'd be happy if it’s spicy... No, wait! That’s not what I mean. I want you to get back to the main topic!"
From my perspective, that main topic didn't really make much sense, so I wanted to gloss over it if possible... but it seemed that would be difficult.
"...Searching for seriousness? Or rather, it’s a bit late to ask, but what kind of seriousness are you looking for, Senpai? Do you have any specific situations in mind...?"
"Wha—! What are you saying?! That’s a place you're not supposed to step into!"
"Ehh...?"
Since she wanted to get back to the main topic, I tried my best to bring up the subject of searching for seriousness, but for some reason, she got angry. How unreasonable.
"Listen, knowing the details isn't everything. In this world, there are things that make you happier if you just leave them vague!"
"I-Is that so?"
"For example, in dungeon exploration stories, how do they handle the bathroom? Or in dive VR stories, what happens if something goes wrong with the physical body in reality during the dive...? Even if you wrote about those things in detail, it would just be tedious, and only a tiny minority would enjoy it! Just like how it’s boring to describe every single detail of a month-long training arc, there are things in this world that are better left ambiguous!!"
"...I-I see."
I could sort of understand her point... but I wasn't so sure if "Searching for Seriousness" fell into that category. Also, she mentioned things like "Dive VR" so casually; she was as mysterious as ever.
"Therefore, you should just accept that I am looking for seriousness in some way."
"I see... and what's the truth?"
"I don't really understand it myself, so if you ask for a concrete explanation... I'll be ultra-troubled."
"...Well, Senpai, your very existence is rather vague after all."
"Has my treatment become more dismissive than it was a year ago?! If you keep saying things like that, my affection level will drop! Yes, it just dropped by one because of that comment, so it’s now 4865!"
"...What was the upper limit again?"
"100."
"..."
Didn't she say it was around 95 last time? It had gone up an incredible amount... Or rather, what exactly was an "upper limit" anyway?
"...W-Well, you know. The reason I'm treating you more dismissively is because I feel more familiar with you now. Something like that."
"H-Hmph! It’s too late to try and restore your affection level with talk like that... It’s 5030 now."
"It surged way past the limit in an instant..."
She was as chaotic as ever, but she was an interesting person, and a smile naturally spread across my face. It was a very precious meeting that only happened once a year, but there was no heavy atmosphere at all. We headed toward the restaurant together while enjoying our lively and fun small talk.
After that, I spent time playing around and visiting various places with Senpai until evening... and it was only after I returned home that I realized I had forgotten to buy a new diary.
Serious-senpai (Affection Level 9999): "Wait, the title?! Don't abbreviate it there! It’s only a few more characters, do your best until the end!!"
???: "...I thought I was pretty easy myself, but I guess I was wrong. I’m not easy at all. Her affection level broke the limit and hit ten times that after playing for just half a day..."