It happened one afternoon. Thinking it would be nice to eat out for a change, I headed into town to decide what I was in the mood for, when I spotted a familiar figure ahead.
I could only see her from behind, but that black sailor uniform was rare in this world. Combined with her white hair, there was no mistaking her. It was definitely Shia-san. She wasn't wearing her usual robe today, and she was holding something in her hand... a flag? It looked like a flag, but regardless, I was certain it was her.
Why was she standing still right in the middle of the road? I figured I’d try calling out to her. She’d probably just click her tongue at me, but for her, that was basically a greeting.
Chuckling at the expected reaction, I approached her and spoke.
"Hello, Shia-san."
"Hmm? Eh? Gyaaaaaah!?"
"Whoa!?"
Reacting to my voice, she spun around. Her eyes went wide the moment she saw my face, and she suddenly let out a scream. What was that? That was totally unexpected...
"A-An immediate appearance by the Last Boss?! I wasn't mentally prepared for this yet!"
"Huh? Last Boss? Shia-san? What on earth are you..."
"Kh, so this is what they call the baptism of the Main Story... But I’ve come all this way. I can’t back down now! Fine then, bring it on, Flag King! Don’t think you can trigger a flag on me that easily!"
"I’m sorry, but what are you even talking about?"
I didn't know what to do. Shia-san was making absolutely no sense today. Moreover, we were in the middle of a public thoroughfare, and we were drawing a massive amount of attention.
"Um, I don't really follow, but can we move somewhere else for now? People are staring."
"When you respond so calmly like that, it actually kind of hurts in a different way. Anyway, y-yeah. Understood."
I wondered what was really wrong with her. Her mood was swinging wildly, and to put it bluntly, she was just being weird.
Bewildered by her unusual behavior, I led her away from the crowded main street to a small nearby park.
"So, Shia-san? What's going on today? You seem... different from usual."
"Wait right there!"
"Yes?"
"This is very important, so I'm telling you upfront... I am not Shia, you know?"
"Eh?"
Not Shia-san? No, they weren't just similar like twins; they were identical. I was stunned, but I couldn't imagine Shia-san ever making a joke like that.
If so, was she really a different person? Man, what was going on?
"Well, you can just call me 'Senpai' as a sign of affection!"
"Understood. Ah, my name is Kaito Miyama."
"Yeah, I know... To a sickening degree."
"Oh, I see..."
For reasons I didn't understand, I had apparently been designated as this person's junior. Seriously, what was this situation? I couldn't keep up at all.
This person who looked exactly like Shia-san... well, Senpai, seemed to know who I was. Considering her resemblance to her, was she a God? Unfortunately, I seemed to be famous among the Gods, so it might not be strange for her to know me... maybe?
"So, um... this might be blunt, but may I ask your name?"
"Hmph, very well, I shall tell you! I am the Serious of Serious! The World-shining Star of Seriousness! Serious-senpai!"
"..."
I knew it was incredibly rude to someone I just met, but I couldn't help thinking it to myself: Who is this weirdo?!
"I-I see. So, your name is Serious-san?"
"Huh? No, what were you listening to? I told you, my name is 'Serious-senpai'!"
"Ah, um... so you mean 'Senpai' is part of the name itself?"
"That's right."
"I-I see."
Can I say it one more time? Who is this weirdo?! Ah, wait, maybe that was it? Maybe it wasn't written with kanji, but in katakana like "Serious-senpai."
"By the way, just to confirm, is that 'Senpai' part... a family name or something?"
"Huh? What are you... You know, the usual 'Senior-Junior' thing. I'm the Senior."
So it was that kind of "Senpai" after all! If so, her real name was absolutely insane. But she didn't seem bothered by it at all. Was it me? Was I the one who was crazy?
"Anyway, you can just call me Senpai!"
"U-Understood... Senpai."
"Yes, good."
This was turning into a bizarre development.
"So, um, Senpai, what were you doing standing still on the main street earlier?"
"Good question. I was searching for something."
"Searching... for what?"
"Yes, for something 'vital and indispensable to this world'!"
"Vital and indispensable?"
The scale of the conversation had suddenly become enormous. Well, if that was the case, then Senpai really was a God, and she'd come to the Human Realm to find something necessary for the world? That sounded like a tough job.
"That's right... 'Seriousness'!"
"Come again?"
And suddenly it felt like nothing at all.
"The world is suffering from a lack of seriousness. That is why I! I, the Incarnation of Seriousness, have come forth like this to change that!"
"..."
Was this some kind of philosophical thing? This was bad; I was terrible with that kind of stuff.
After that, the hyped-up Senpai began to passionately talk about her purpose and her motivation for coming here. Ten minutes later, I finally managed to reach a basic understanding of what she was trying to say.
"Um, so to summarize... You are an existence that is the materialization of the concept of 'Seriousness,' and lamenting the world's lack of seriousness, you came here from a place different from this world to find new seriousness... Is that it?"
"Yeah, that's basically right."
"I see. Um, I know a very skilled doctor... though counseling might be outside her specialty, would you like to go see her for now?"
"I'm not a mental patient!"
But the only conclusion I could draw after listening to that story was that she was a "crazy person"! No, wait, since Spirits and Gods exist here, maybe it wasn't so strange for the concept of something to materialize.
Feeling a headache coming on, I decided to swallow my doubts and ask Senpai a question.
"So, granted for the sake of argument that everything you said is true... specifically, how do you plan to find seriousness?"
"T-That's, well... by using my feet..."
"Ah, so you have no plan."
"Yes. And also, I was completely lost."
How should I put it? One moment she had a smug, confident face, and the next she looked totally dejected. Her mood switched so fast it was bewildering. In many ways, she was a very strange person.
However, since I had already called out to her, I couldn't just leave her alone. There was something about her that felt unreliable. I had a feeling that if I left her to her own devices, she’d get caught up in some weird trouble.
"Um, I don't know where to find 'seriousness,' but I’m somewhat familiar with the geography around here... so, should I guide you?"
"!? ...You're kind."
Because of my personality, I couldn't choose to just ignore someone so strange and go home. Even though I felt like this was going to be a hassle, I made the offer, and Senpai's expression became filled with deep emotion.
But a moment later, she looked as if she’d suddenly realized something.
"Hah! Don't get the wrong idea! D-Don't think a flag has been triggered on me just from this!"
"R-Right..."
Was she talking about a romantic flag?
"I'll have you know, my affection level is only around '96'!"
"Out of curiosity, what's the maximum?"
"100."
"And the starting value when we met?"
"Around 30?"
That was a shockingly high rating. Her affection had skyrocketed in less than an hour since we met. Where in our conversation so far had there been any element that would raise her affection by 66 points? Well, maybe it only meant something once it hit 100, but still... she seemed like someone who would be incredibly easy to deceive.
"W-Well, let's go look for seriousness then... Do you have any leads?"
"Hmm, first, I want to eat something. Spicy food, if possible. Even better if it’s a local specialty."
Was she actually just here to sightsee in the Sinfonia Royal Capital? Well, that was much better than a nonsensical search for seriousness.
Having reached that conclusion, I opened the guidebook I’d received from Kuro and began leading Senpai to restaurants while listening to her requests.
Since she looked so much like Shia-san, I thought she wouldn't be satisfied unless it was extremely spicy. But since I’d have to eat it too, I guided her to a place that served moderately spicy dishes.
Senpai seemed perfectly fine with it and looked incredibly happy while eating. At some point, I thought I heard her mumbling about how "I've only been eating baby castella until now" or "I've only had cocoa to drink," but I wanted to believe I’d just misheard.
The fact that she was crying during the meal was surely just because she was moved by the deliciousness, and not because she had been undergoing some mysterious torture or anything.
Also, since Senpai had no money, I ended up paying for everything. Since she looked truly apologetic about it, I wanted to believe I wasn't being scammed.
Senpai was quick to recover, and as I’d initially expected, her emotional range was huge. One moment she'd be depressed, and the next she'd bounce right back. In a way, she was entertaining to watch.
She was an odd person, but she didn't seem like a bad person. All in all, sightseeing through the capital with the frolicking Senpai was quite fun, and I ended up showing her around all sorts of places.
In the end, we didn't find any "seriousness," and as evening approached, we returned to the park where we’d first talked.
"Man, that was fun! Thanks for hanging out with me!"
"No problem, I had a good time too. But we never did find any seriousness, did we?"
"Eh? Ah!?"
"You forgot, didn't you?"
"N-No, this is, you know... Seriousness wasn't built in a day! It's not something you find so easily!"
"Please don't make up nonsense phrases."
We had completely hit it off over the course of the day, and we were now able to talk quite casually. In a way, Senpai reminded me of Alice—someone you could treat a bit roughly without issue. In fact, if you were too polite with her, you’d probably just end up losing out.
But on the flip side, you didn't have to walk on eggshells around her, so she was actually easy to talk to once you got used to her.
"Well, anyway, thanks for toda—"
"Eh?"
Senpai, who was just about to say thanks with a bright smile, vanished from my sight the next instant... or rather, she was punched away. In the spot where Serious-senpai had been standing, a familiar black cat kigurumi had appeared in a follow-through punch pose, and a booming sound echoed a split second later.
"Phew. I wondered where she’d gone... What a troublesome Senpai."
"A-A-Ali—Alice?! What are you doing all of a sudden?!"
"Ah, no, you're mistaken. I'm not the Transcendent Beautiful Girl Alice-chan, I'm just a fan."
"No, you're definitely Alice! Never mind that, what do you think you're doing?! Senpai?!"
While stunned by the sudden appearance of the kigurumi that was obviously Alice, I hurriedly looked in the direction of the massive cloud of dust where Senpai had been blown.
If it were Shia-san, that would be one thing, but from what I’d seen today, Senpai only had the physical ability of a normal person. If Alice punched her like that, what would happen? Damn it, I’ll scold Alice later! Right now, I have to check if Senpai's okay.
"That really hurt... Who just does that out of nowhere?"
To my surprise, she walked out of the dust cloud looking perfectly fine. She had a huge bump on her head like something out of a gag manga, but she seemed as energetic as ever.
As I stood there confused, Alice (?) sensed my doubt and spoke up.
"Ah, don't worry. Senpai has 'Gag Correction,' so she's basically an immortal durability monster. She's completely fine."
"What? No, what are you talking about..."
Gag Correction? Like something out of a comic book... Forget it, I was officially confused. My brain wasn't working properly.
"Anyway, it's time to go home, Senpai."
"No! I haven't found any seriousness yet!"
"I keep telling you, there isn't any..."
"No, there must be, I know it! As long as I, the Serious of Serious, am here, seriousness will come to me!"
"Shut up already."
"Gyaaaaaah!?"
I had no idea what was happening. It looked like Senpai was being sliced to pieces by the black cat kigurumi, but the next moment, she was restored as if nothing had happened.
Feeling a headache from being left so far behind by the incomprehensible situation, my consciousness gradually faded away.
"—Hah!?"
I threw back the covers and sat up to find myself in my familiar room. I hurriedly scanned the area, but neither Senpai nor the black cat kigurumi were anywhere to be found.
"Eh? A dream?"
What a bizarre dream that had been. Was I just tired?
Thinking that, I got out of bed and noticed a neatly wrapped parcel on my desk. I picked it up to check, but there was no sender's name written on it.
Tilting my head at the mysterious package, I opened it. Inside was an assortment of powdered cocoa mix and a flag like the ones used in beach flags.
The word "Happiness" was written on the flag in what looked like permanent marker, and a single message card was attached to the handle.
And on that message card, written in cute handwriting, were these words:
'I'll leave this flag for you without breaking it. Also... I had fun. Thanks. From Serious-senpai'
Serious-senpai (Affection Level 999): "W-Well, he is the Protagonist after all. He wasn't a bad guy... Not that a flag has been triggered on me at all, though."
???: "The note next to your name... No, never mind. But giving cocoa as a thank-you gift... I guess it's because you didn't have anything else, but why wasn't it something spicy?"
Serious-senpai (Affection Level 999): "Huh? What are you talking about? Look, 'what I like' and 'what will make the other person happy' are obviously two different things. I wouldn't do something as stupid as forcing my own tastes on others."
???: "How should I put it? That’s a very sensible way of thinking... but right now, 'a massive boomerang just pierced the you in the parallel world,' you know?"
Serious-senpai (Affection Level 999): "Eh? ...Ah."