I sat on the sofa in Lilia-san's office—the one usually reserved for breaks or sudden visitors—and buried my face in my hands.
Lilia-san, sitting across from me, watched with a worried gaze, though her own complexion was far from healthy. To be honest, I hadn't expected that building a house would lead me to a dilemma like this.
It wasn't the housewarming party itself. Ein-san and Zwei-san had handled those preparations with staggering speed; the date was set, and everything was apparently ready to go.
No, the problem currently weighing on my mind was...
"Lilia-san."
"Yes?"
"Illness-san is just... too much. She’s too incredible."
"I know. I understand how you feel all too well, Kaito-san."
Our conversation centered on the woman currently managing almost every single domestic task at my new mansion entirely on her own: Illness-san.
"Lilia-san, normally a mansion of that size would require a massive staff, right?"
"Indeed. Just the basic upkeep and cleaning would require a significant number of people. You couldn't have just one gardener, either; you’d need a whole team. And that's not even accounting for the other daily chores."
"So, ten or twenty people wouldn't even come close to covering it?"
"Of course not. Employees need breaks and days off, so you need a deep roster to keep things running. In fact, compared to other high-ranking nobles, my own mansion actually employs a relatively small number of people."
Lilia-san replied with a grave expression, matching the weight of my words.
My new home was the same size as Lilia-san’s—the estate of a woman who held the rank of Duke, was the King’s biological sister, and commanded a vast number of subordinates from her days in the Order of Knights. While I didn't know the exact count of her staff, I knew the names of at least fifty people. Given the ones I had never spoken to, the real number was likely much higher.
Of course, Lilia-san had civil officials to assist with her ducal duties and security personnel to guard the grounds, so it wasn't a perfect one-to-one comparison. Regardless, it was blatantly obvious that a mansion of that scale required a small army of servants to maintain.
"Illness-san originally did the work of ten ordinary maids even back when she was here, right?"
"Yes... and even then, I had to practically force her to cut back her workload."
"But to handle an entire mansion by herself... that's not just ten times the work. It has to be dozens, maybe hundreds of times the normal volume, shouldn't it?"
"It should. That is my understanding as well."
I paused for a moment to let out a deep, heavy sigh.
"And yet... Illness-san doesn't seem different at all. In fact, she just casually helped me brush Bell’s fur today like it was nothing."
"She brought me some cake as well... and even helped me finish several tasks I had fallen behind on."
"What do you think is going on?"
"To be honest, I'm terrified. I assumed that no matter how powerful a Count-class demon she might be, handling that much housework instead of combat would eventually take its toll. I thought she was just hiding her exhaustion."
"Right?"
"Yes. I never dreamed... that she wasn't joking. She really was just 'bored' with nothing to do until now."
Lilia-san was well aware that Illness-san was handling my mansion solo. In fact, it had been Illness-san’s own idea. Lilia-san had initially intended for her to act as a temporary aide until I could hire a proper staff, even planning to send over some of her own maids to lighten the burden.
The reality, however, had veered wildly off course.
First, Illness-san had calmly handled every single chore that wasn't already covered by Anima, Eta, Theta, or Caraway-san. If she had looked even slightly stressed or tired, we could have used that as an excuse to force extra help on her. But far from being overwhelmed, she actually seemed to be in a better mood than usual, acting as if she were finally grateful to have something to keep her occupied.
Second, in a rare move for someone who almost never voiced her own desires, she had explicitly told both Lilia-san and me that she wished to continue handling the work for my house. Given that a request from Illness-san was practically a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, neither of us had the heart to turn her down.
And then there was the issue of her sheer competence. From cleaning and laundry to landscaping, her work was beyond top-tier. To put it bluntly, hiring anyone else would actually result in a drop in quality. Between her strong personal wish, her apparent lack of fatigue, and her flawless performance, there was simply no logical reason to hire anyone else.
I had tried asking her if she was overexerting herself, but she had simply replied, "It may be selfish of meee, but I would be happyyy... if you would leave it to meee as it isss."
It was perhaps the first time she had ever made a strong request of me. Considering how much she was doing for me, I felt I had no choice but to agree.
As a side note, my mother—who had confidently declared, "I’ve been a housewife for a long time, so I can handle the chores!"—had her pride utterly shattered after witnessing Illness-san in action. She had muttered, "...What is that woman? Some kind of God of Housekeeping?" and had taken to calling her "Illness-sama" ever since.
"From my perspective, since she's doing so much for the house... I want to pay her a proper salary. I'd like to pay her what I would have paid for a dozens-strong staff."
"I understand. What you’re struggling with now is something I've faced many times over."
"How do you think I can get her to actually accept the money?"
"I'd honestly like to know the answer to that myself."
This was the crux of our shared headache. I wanted to pay Illness-san, but she was famous for flatly refusing such offers from Lilia-san in the past. If I approached her normally, I could only envision her declining with a polite "No, thank youuu."
As I pondered the problem, a rhythmic knock sounded at the door. When Lilia-san granted permission, the very person we were discussing stepped into the room.
"Excuse meee... Since Lunamaria isss taking a day offf today, I have brought the teaaa..."
"O-Oh, thank you."
I saw Lilia-san’s face twitch. The person casually filling in for the absent Lunamaria was the same person currently doing the work of a hundred maids at my place. I was starting to suspect that if she really wanted to, Illness-san could probably run both Lilia-san’s mansion and my own simultaneously without breaking a sweat.
"Oh myyy? Both of you look so gloomyee... Is something the matterrr?"
Illness-san was incredibly perceptive when it came to the emotions of others. She tilted her head, immediately sensing that we were troubled.
This was as good a time as any. I decided to try bringing up the salary. She would probably refuse, but it might give me a baseline to work with for future persuasion. I glanced at Lilia-san, who seemed to read my mind and gave a silent nod of encouragement.
"Actually, Illness-san... Since you've been doing so much work for my house, I'd like to pay you a salary from my side, separate from what you receive from Lilia-san."
"I seeee... Thank you for your considerationnn. I shall gratefullyyy... accept ittt."
"Yes, I knew you’d say that, but for my part— Wait, what? Hang on, Illness-san."
"Yesss?"
"I think I might have misheard you. Let me repeat myself. I want to pay you a salary."
"Yeshh, I shall gratefullyyy... accept ittt. I leave the amounttt... to you, Kaito-samaaa."
The two of us stared at her, our heads tilting in perfect, bewildered unison. This was not the reaction we had expected at all.
Q: Why did Illness-san agree so easily? A: Because Kaito was the one who asked. (Illness’s Absolute Priority: Kaito > Herself)
Serious-senpai: "...I have a bad feeling about this. Stop it... stop the Illness events! That girl is a Heroine Power Monster! Don't give her a solo event!"