The tea party budget reforms, enacted by deploying Edward, proceeded at a steady clip. Before long, the tea parties that had been a staple of after-school life began to vanish.
The downgrade in tea leaves and confections wounded the nobles’ pride, leading them to abandon their gatherings in a fit of silent protest. It wouldn't have been an issue if they simply held them occasionally rather than every single day, but these people were so obsessed with their status that they couldn't even bring themselves to submit a formal application through their servants. They were a real handful.
It was a trivial matter, but humans are creatures that find the loss of a previously held standard of living nearly unbearable. Whether it be their own limbs or their kin, humans possess an innate, visceral hatred for losing or being robbed of something that has always been there.
If I hadn't been hardened by life in the Brave Territory, I imagine I would have pushed back too. However, the reality was that someone had to administer this bit of shock therapy. To be blunt, those daily tea parties were likely one of the primary reasons grades were slipping.
Every single day after school, without fail or boredom, they gathered to flirt and whisper sweet nothings. Was everyone here playing a romance simulation game? The moral fiber of this Academy was in shambles!
Not that it particularly bothered me, though.
"Hmm."
I stood atop the roof as usual, surveying the student body while lost in thought.
Despite the "tea party strike," no students had come forward to demand a budget increase. I had predicted they might use upperclassmen to voice their complaints, but it seemed the strategy of using Edward had been incredibly effective.
After all, during the first semester when he was frolicking with Patricia, they hadn't held a single tea party, opting instead for the cost-effective "Handmade Bento Derby." Since that very same Edward was now the one telling them to stop wasting money, no one could find the leverage to talk back.
He was surprisingly adept at twisting logic and spinning excuses, so I had simply remained silent, as if to provide the finishing blow. Consequently, there were now many students who would jump in fright and bolt the moment they caught sight of me.
"Uwah! The Watchdog is watching us!"
"How did he get on the roof? Is he... a Tea Party Hunter?"
"W-we aren't doing anything!"
"We're just weeds who never even got invited to the daily parties anyway, so please, have mercy!"
Just like that, they were terrified of me despite the fact that I hadn't moved a muscle. Up until now, I’d been able to monitor them as much as I liked because I was ignored, but now that I stood out for all the wrong reasons, my work was becoming difficult.
The term "Tea Party Hunter" was gaining traction, but I wasn't actually hunting anyone.
"Hup."
I hopped down from the roof to land in front of the students, intending to set the record straight.
"If you just submit the paperwork properly, the Academy will provide the funds. Go ahead and have your tea parties."
"Hieee! Please don't kill us!"
"Even if we held one, no one would come!"
"If we held a tea party now, the girls would hate us even more!"
The male students shrieked those desperate words as they scattered like startled mice.
...I didn't get it. What on earth had that baldy said to them? Depending on the details, I might have to have the Empress, Alicia, provide him with some "supplementary education."
"Well, I'm sure they'll start up again eventually."
In the General Class, the subsidies from the Academy were actually increasing, so tea parties would likely become more active there. If that happened, the boys being shunned in the Special Class would probably drift over to those circles. It would likely lead to more instances of commoners marrying into nobility, which wasn't a bad thing.
The son of the House of the Marquess Pentagram was dead, the son of House Ignite had gone abroad, Edward was a bald idiot, and Clive was already taken by a member of the Student Council. The only one left was the son of House Cascade, a blood relative of Volsea, but I hadn't seen him around lately. I wondered where he’d gone.
The prospects for the girls in the Special Class to marry into higher status were looking grim.
"Well, more importantly than that..."
Leaping back onto the roof, I moved to a less conspicuous position to hide.
The matter I really needed to investigate was the "study abroad" status of Patricia and Jelasis. Had they truly fled because they realized they couldn't win after declaring war? If so, they would surely strike again. I had a nagging feeling about it.
If I were in a position where I knew I couldn't win, I would also go into hiding until the odds were in my favor, then return to finish the job. They were likely doing the same.
"That woman, Patricia, is sharper than I’d initially given her credit for."
If that were the case, I could predict the timing of their next move. It would be during the Sage Festival—a massive event where the Academy grounds are opened to the public and students from other nations come to visit.
I considered that, then paused. What was Patricia’s true goal?
I had assumed she wanted to enjoy a Reverse Harem after using Substitution Magic to usurp the role of the Heroine, but she had discarded Edward the moment she failed to secure the Holy Artifact on his route. If she was leaving to study abroad without even attempting to switch to a different route, then her actions truly made no sense.
"Hmm... I suppose I could just ask her directly."
She might have made a temporary retreat, but there was no way she would pass up an opportunity like the Sage Festival. If she intended to blatantly target Alicia, I had no intention of playing defensive anymore. It would be best to crush her before she could act.
Of course, she had likely anticipated that and vanished. She was a capable military strategist type, which piqued my interest. To accomplish so much while commanding the demon-possessed Jelasis... I wondered if she might be in a similar situation to mine, living in this peace-addled world. It was pure speculation, though.
"I suppose I'll enjoy the peace until that day comes."
It was the day after I’d allowed myself that moment of respite. With no assassins from House Ignite in sight and no clear enemies left within the Academy due to the staff reshuffle, I had expected a peaceful life until the festival. Instead, a small-scale catastrophe awaited me.
It happened in the morning.
When I arrived at the Academy with Alicia, a crowd of students was gathered in front of the school building, staring intently at an image projected from a crystal.
Curious, I approached to see what the fuss was about.
"Do any of you know what a kiss tastes like?!"
"Answer meeeeeeeee!!"
It was a recording of me—brutally overwhelming the mages of the Dark Section who had been disguised as teachers—playing on a continuous loop.
"What flavor is a kiss?!"
"Tell me the flavor of first love, tooooooooooo!!"
The footage broadcast my most embarrassing lines for the entire school to hear.