The Duo Karaoke Battle had started before I even realized it. I sat in a chair placed in front of the stage as the judge, red and blue flags in hand, waiting for the first performance.
I wondered who would be the first pair to step up.
"Now then, let’s get this first round underway! Representing the Red side... there is no one else more suited to lead the charge! The Burning Fighting Spirit Gori—ahem, War King Megiddo-san! And the man with passion burning in his gaze, the hot-blooded middle-aged demon, Ozma-san!"
To the sound of Alice’s introduction, Megiddo-san, who looked ready to conquer the world, and Ozma-san, who wore a weary smile, stepped onto the stage. I had my doubts about Megiddo-san’s singing voice. His voice was certainly loud and he had plenty of power, but still...
"Now, let’s hear them sing!"
Wait, Megiddo-san wasn't participating in his humanized form. That microphone in his hand was absolutely massive. I wondered what kind of song they would pick. My image of him screamed heavy rock, but...
As I watched, the Alice-chan Band began to play. The melody was much slower than I expected. Was this... a ballad?
While I was reeling from the unexpected genre choice, Megiddo-san leaned into the giant microphone and began to sing. His voice was beautiful—something I never would have imagined based on his appearance. He was actually good!
A solid, stable bass tone resonated through the hall. This was far beyond anything I had anticipated. Ozma-san’s gentle voice also complemented the ballad perfectly. This was an unexpectedly high-caliber duo.
When Megiddo-san and Ozma-san finished their performance, the venue erupted in applause.
"Hmm, the War King is a surprisingly good singer. He might be a championship contender right out of the gate. Wait, Shaltan, what’s wrong?"
"Pfft... haha... A gorilla singing a ballad... there’s a limit to how much a style can clash with a person. This is that. This is a new species called the Ballad Gorilla. Ahaha, it’s too funny, my stomach hurts!"
"Shaltier, you bastard! You'd better remember this later!"
Leaving Alice’s provocations aside, Fate-san was right—they were definitely contenders for the top spot.
"Now then, despite that unexpected comedy, moving on to the Blue side! The ruler who shouts, 'I want to quit being King and become a minstrel!' The current ruler of the Hydra Kingdom, Laguna-san! Her partner is the Miracle of the Elf Race! The Singing Great Sage! The High Elder of the Elf Race, Falce-san!"
"Oh, it’s the legendary hero duo. Wait, what? Fol-fol, haven't you gotten a bit smaller?"
"According to the materials on hand, she apparently shrunken after a failed magic potion experiment."
"Heh, well, I guess those things happen."
The fact that her shrinking was accepted as casually as if someone had asked, "Oh, did you get a haircut?" was a bit surreal. But I suppose that was just how things worked here.
Laguna-san and Falce-san stepped onto the stage to face off against Megiddo-san and Ozma-san.
"Hah, if it isn't Laguna! You're a worthy opponent. Come at us with everything you've got!"
"Well then, I shall take you up on that offer and rely on your hospitality, I suppose."
I recalled hearing that Megiddo-san was on friendly terms with the Hydra Kingdom. It seemed he and Laguna-san were quite close.
Megiddo-san and Ozma-san stepped down from the stage, and the new duo took their place at the center.
"By the way, Laguna?"
"Hmm? What is it?"
"Since my body has shrunken, you see, my vocal range has naturally shifted as well. I might cause a bit of trouble. No, really, I too once dreamed of being a minstrel... it was for all of three minutes, if I recall, and while I take pride in my latent talent, I haven't sung anything but hums for a century. Please assume I have quite a bit of rust to shake off. Oh, of course, I won't hold ba—"
"Shut up! Just get ready already!"
After a brief comedy routine on stage, Laguna-san and Falce-san took their microphones and began. Coincidentally, their song was a ballad, just like the previous team's.
And they were also incredible. While Megiddo-san had more raw power, the way Laguna-san and Falce-san harmonized was superior. Their vocal compatibility was off the charts. Their voices locked together perfectly, elevating the entire performance to another level.
Naturally, the hall was filled with loud applause when they finished.
"Oh, this is quite a match... To be honest, the level is really high. I was expecting something more like a school talent show..."
"They both did well to sing such a long song without losing momentum. I'm impressed."
"No, no, Fate-san... the part you're praising is weird. Also, the song was just a standard length. You're going to be pairing up with me later, so please take this seriously, okay?"
"I'll give it my all... for exactly one phrase."
"That’s a very short 'all'!"
Another skit was unfolding over at the commentary booth. Regardless, I had a difficult choice to make. Both pairs were excellent, but in different ways.
"Now then, Kaito-san! Please raise the flag of the pair you liked best!"
"Blue!"
"Oh! Kaito-san has raised the blue flag! That means the pair of Laguna-san and Falce-san wins!"
I had chosen the legendary hero duo. Immediately after, Alice appeared in front of me and shoved a microphone in my face.
"Could I ask for your reasoning? Was the cause of defeat the gorilla? Was it the Ballad Gorilla?"
"Shaltier, you bastard, I'm absolutely going to kill you later."
She really was bold, poking the bear—or rather, the gorilla—like that. However, Megiddo-san only clenched his fist in irritation rather than starting a fight. He was probably holding back because Kuro was watching.
"Um, both were truly wonderful, so it was a very hard choice. Megiddo-san’s team was very stable and sounded great. However, perhaps because Megiddo-san’s voice was so powerful, I felt it was a little difficult to hear Ozma-san’s parts."
"I see, I see. So Laguna-san and Falce-san had the edge there."
"Yes. It felt like they were matching each other’s pitch and volume perfectly. The balance was just right."
"Understood, thank you very much!"
Though I was a bit nervous about stating my verdict, Alice thanked me and vanished. I worried if I had explained it well enough, but seeing Megiddo-san and Laguna-san shake hands suggested they accepted the outcome.
The quality of the competition was remarkably high from the very first round. I found myself genuinely looking forward to the next match.
"Now then, let’s move briskly on to the second match! For the Red side, we have... the Person in Charge of the God Realm's Hardships, the one who always ends up with the short straw... I’ve confirmed that everyone here knows her name, so I'll skip the titles. The God of Space-Time, Chronoa-san!"
"I feel a certain malice in that description..."
"And her partner is the Sleeping Princess of the God Realm. To be honest, even I have rarely seen her awake. The God of Life, Life-san!"
"I look forward to working with you."
The next duo was Chronoa-san and Life-san. Another powerhouse pair. I didn't think someone as stiff as Chronoa-san would volunteer for this, but she was likely ordered to participate by Shiro-san.
Watching them smoothly take the stage and grip their microphones, they looked surprisingly comfortable. This seemed promising...
"Shaltan, give me some Earplugs."
"Here you go... the heavy-duty kind that blocks out all sound."
"Thank you..."
Wait, what? I was sure I just heard something very alarming. No, that couldn't be right. Chronoa-san and Life-san both looked like incredibly capable, high-functioning goddesses.
There was no way... wait, why were there other people in the audience covering their ears? Was this for real?
Dear Mother, Father—I thought that since this was a gathering of such high-spec individuals, the singing would remain at a professional level. But for some reason, the atmosphere in the venue has turned ominous. It’s not possible, right? It’s not like Chronoa-san and Life-san are actually bad at singing... right?
Serious-senpai: "So, what’s the reality here? How good are they?"
???: "They're bad enough that they might shatter the window glass."
Serious-senpai: "At that point, isn't it just a weapon?"