I arrived at the floating castle via a transport method usually reserved for gag manga, and the moment my feet hit the ground, I shot Alice a look of pure resentment.
"You..."
"K-Kaito-san, now, please, just calm down! I would never actually let you get hurt. See? I caught you perfectly, didn't I?"
"That's not the point..."
It was true that I didn't have a scratch on me. Alice had utilized her pointlessly high-spec abilities to catch me mid-air so gracefully that I hadn't felt even a hint of impact.
But think about it for a second. The fact that she could overtake me after the seesaw launched me—and catch me before I hit the ground—meant that she could have brought me here far faster than that catapult ever could. As I’d suspected, the entire stunt had been nothing but a malicious prank.
"Now, now, Kaito-san, don't make such a scary face. Everyone is waiting inside, so we don't really have time for a long lecture out here..."
"You're right. Alice, open your mouth for a second."
"The context of this conversation is not connecting at all! And I'm getting a really, really bad feeling about this..."
She was right; I didn't have time to lecture her while everyone was waiting. However, my anger wasn't going to subside that easily. Following my own command, I reached into my Magic Box and pulled out an "Orange, Purple, and Black Marble-patterned Baby Castella."
"No, no, Kaito-san. Absolutely not. That color is not something any living creature should ever put in their mouth!"
"It's fine. After all... I ate one, too."
"I really think you need to be stricter with Kuro-san! Wait, don't bring that closer! There's no way something looking like that is deli—mgh!?"
She continued to ramble, but I ignored her entirely and forced "Kuro's Worst Baby Castella No. 1" into her mouth. Alice's face flashed with a momentary look of resignation before she chewed and swallowed. Then, she dropped to one knee.
"Wh... What... was that!? That was horrible! Can you even legally call that food? I know I'm one of the strongest people in this world, but I just took legitimate damage. Does that stuff deal fixed damage or something?"
"I passed out when I ate it."
"Kuro-san is one thing for making a toxic substance like that, but why did you eat it, Kaito-san!? It was a visible landmine!"
"I couldn't say no..."
Calling food "fixed damage" was a bizarre choice of words, but I empathized with her painfully well. I always wanted to refuse, but when Kuro offered them with that radiant smile... I found myself stepping on the landmine even when I could see it right in front of me.
"You're way too soft on her!"
I was aware of that, but there was nothing I could do. I was completely blinded by love.
"Look, Kaito-san... I'll make you something actually delicious later."
"Thanks."
Wait, that was strange. I’d intended to scold her, but now she was the one comforting me. What was with this awkward atmosphere?
"Shall we go?"
"Right."
The mood for a lecture had evaporated, so we headed toward the venue entrance.
"It's incredible seeing it up close. These stairs are beautiful."
"By the way, I heard this castle is built from materials that have never existed in this world before."
"I have nothing but a bad feeling about this, but can you be more specific?"
"Apparently, it's sturdy enough to 'withstand at least one full-power punch from Kuro-san'."
"That’s not a castle, that’s a fortress."
The God Realm had been responsible for the construction, if I recalled correctly. This was undoubtedly the work of Shiro-san, a woman who didn't know the meaning of the word self-restraint. Besides, why on earth would a party venue need to be that durable? Were they expecting a situation where that level of sturdiness would actually be tested? Maybe I should just go home.
"Is everything else around here just as ridiculous? Like the trees?"
"Supposedly, they bear 'Fruit that changes to the eater's favorite flavor'."
"And that fountain over there?"
"Apparently, 'Water that doubles magic power for 2 hours when drunk' wells up from it."
"Does any of that have anything to do with my birthday?"
"Who knows?"
This floating castle was dangerous. There were absurdities tucked into every corner. If the walkway to the entrance was like this, what was the interior going to be like?
This was supposed to be my birthday party, wasn't it? Or was it some kind of hidden dungeon? Given that the castle was currently packed with people who qualified as Last Bosses, that description might not be entirely inaccurate.
Dear Mother, Father—for some reason, I can't stop breaking out in a cold sweat, and I haven't even walked through the front door yet. I need to confirm this one more time: this is just a birthday party, right? Why did they have to go this far for the venue? Why did they have to go so far beyond all-out!?
Mysterious Floating Castle
Dungeon Level: Unknown Floors: Unknown Recommended Level: I won't say anything mean, just go home.
Appearing Enemies Encounters: Murderchain (Pandora), Master Maid (Ein), and many others. Mid-boss: Trinity (Supreme Gods)
Boss Rush Boss 1: Good Friends Duo (Isis and Lilliwood) Boss 2: Transcendent Beautiful Girl (Alice – Three phases depending on remaining HP) Boss 3: Maman (Eden) Boss 4: Natural God Shiro Boss 5: Baby Castella Demon Kuro
Hidden Bosses (Conditions Apply) Hidden Boss 1: Maman (Main Body) (Complete Form Eden) Hidden Boss 2: Main Heroine (Serious Kuro – Upon start of battle, deals defense-ignoring maximum damage to all enemies, plus defense-ignoring maximum damage every turn) Hidden Boss 3: End of the Story (Serious Shiro – Unblockable, ignores all resistances, prevents revival, sure-hit instant death attack) Hidden Boss 4: Protagonist (Kaito – 100 HP. Summons all hidden bosses at the start of battle. Becomes completely invincible until all hidden bosses are defeated. Fully restores HP and MP of all hidden bosses every turn. Random encounter; once encountered, the player character 'Kaito Miyama' becomes available for use.)
Serious-senpai: "Who is supposed to clear this? It's an impossible game!" ???: "If you trigger Hidden Boss 4 and switch the player character to Kaito-san..." Serious-senpai: "Ah, I see... As expected of the protagonist..."