The 2nd day of the Second Month of Fire. I had stopped by Alice's General Store as I usually did, only to be greeted by Alice herself, who was practically radiating a look of smug triumph.
"Look, Kaito-san! Feast your eyes on the many new products I've created!"
With those words, Alice laid out what must have been twenty different magic tools across the counter. Since she called them new, I assumed these were all magic tools the world had never seen before.
When I considered that, the fact that there were twenty of them was actually quite staggering.
"Heh... That’s quite a lot. When did you find the time to develop so many new items?"
"Fufufu, Alice-chan is nothing if not prepared. Since I had unlimited access to materials during the Six Kings Festival, I made sure to secure plenty for myself and got to work!"
"...I can't decide if I should be impressed or appalled."
"I was finally able to produce items that were previously stuck in the concept phase because the materials were too rare and hard to get!"
She was certainly shrewd, or perhaps just greedy—though I suppose that was very Alice-like in its own way.
Despite my reservations, I was genuinely curious about her new inventions. I had a nagging suspicion that some of them would be nothing more than the products of her pranking, but still...
"So, what kind of items are we talking about?"
"Let's see... I'll start with this one! Kaito-san, do you have any idea what this might be?"
"U-Umm... It looks like a contact lens, but..."
"Correct! To be precise, they are color contact lenses, however..."
Colorful contact lenses were the first thing she wanted to explain. Were these really her big new product? Did they have some kind of incredible hidden function?
"Fufufu, they might look like simple fashion items, but these lenses are actually packed with a shocking feature!"
"Go on."
"Behold... they 'glow when you hold your hand over your eye'!"
"Oh... wait, what?"
"As I said, if you hold your hand over them like this, they emit a powerful flash of light!"
"...Right. And... then what?"
"Eh?"
The contact lens did indeed emit a rather intense light when Alice held her hand over it. But what was the point?
"Umm... do they just glow?"
"They just glow."
"And what happens when they glow?"
"Doesn't it look cool!?"
"..."
What was I supposed to do with this? Right out of the gate, she had presented me with a useless prank item. I had no idea how I was supposed to react to such a mysterious, pointless invention.
"Okay, so who exactly is the target audience for this?"
"Maybe... fourteen-year-olds who want to play at having Magic Eyes?"
"That is a dangerously narrow target!"
"No, no, the technology behind this is actually incredible! It takes massive skill to carve a magic circle into a lens this thin. You can even adjust the brightness and choose from different colors!"
My head was starting to ache. I felt like she was focusing her immense talents in a fatally wrong direction.
"It’s a complete waste of technology. Besides, if it took that much effort to make, won't it be expensive?"
"Well, I'm thinking of pricing them at about one silver coin each!"
"They'll never sell."
Who in their right mind would pay a hundred thousand yen for a toy like this? I couldn't understand why she ever thought this was a good idea. Someone should have stopped her at the planning stage.
"T-Then how about this one!?"
"The moment I saw it looked like a party popper, I started having a very bad feeling."
"This is a masterpiece! When you pull the string, the contents split mid-air, allowing you to scatter them over an incredibly wide area!"
"..."
"B-By the way, the maximum range is two kilometers!"
"That’s not a party popper, that’s a weapon."
I saw it clearly now. These weren't "new products to be sold in a shop." These were "silly prank goods she had thought of but never made because they were too expensive."
At this rate, the rest of the items were bound to be just as useless. Was I really going to be forced to sit through a showcase of absurd joke items for the next hour? Maybe I should just go home...
"Hmm. I really thought they'd be a hit at parties... Oh, speaking of parties, when is your birthday, Kaito-san?"
"What? That’s sudden..."
"Well, since I'm your best partner—your lover and your best friend—I figured I should probably have that information on file. You can give it to me in your world's calendar."
"Setting aside your usual presumptuous positioning... it’s July 2nd."
"Heh, so in this world, that would be the 2nd day of the Second Month of Fire... Eh? Eeeeeeeh!? W-Wait a second! Kaito-san, isn't that today!?"
"Now that you mention it, I suppose it is..."
If the Month of Heavens was December and the Month of Fire was January, then today was indeed my birthday. However, because I had been summoned during the summer in my world, the actual flow of time made it feel like my birthday was still far off.
"It’s not 'I suppose it is'! Why didn't you tell me sooner!? I haven't prepared a gift or anything!!"
"N-No, really, don't worry about it. I almost forgot it myself."
"No, no, no! As your lover, this is an event I absolutely cannot miss! I mean, how could you forget your own...?"
"Well, I haven't celebrated my birthday in about ten years, so it just slipped my mind."
"..."
Ever since my parents passed away, I couldn't remember a single time my birthday had been celebrated. In fact, I had almost never even told anyone when it was.
I hadn't wanted to burden my uncle and aunt, and outside of them, I had been a total loner, so there was naturally no one to celebrate for me.
Or perhaps, deep down, I had been subconsciously avoiding the date because it would force me to remember the birthdays my mother and father used to celebrate with me.
As those thoughts drifted through my mind, Alice pulled out a magic tool that resembled a microphone.
"Emergency transmission to all personnel! Today is Kaito-san’s birthday! I repeat, today is Kaito-san’s birthday! Immediately transmit this information to every single one of Kaito-san’s acquaintances! This is a top-priority command! Further instructions will follow!"
"Wait, Alice!?"
"I don't know what your birthdays were like before... but don't think for a second you're going to spend a dull, gray birthday when you have a thoughtful, transcendent beauty like me as your lover!"
"...You."
Watching Alice's smug, determined face, a smile broke across my own.
Dear Mother, Father—for once, I don't feel like arguing with her self-proclamation. Her thoughtfulness truly makes me happy. I'll admit it. Alice is, without a doubt, a thoughtful and wonderful lover.
That single piece of information... shook the entire world.
"Today’s meeting is canceled! Something urgent has come up. Zex! I’m leaving the rest to you!"
"Understood. It appears Ein-dono is already on the move as well."
"Decline every request involving me today! If you let anyone through, you'll regret it!"
"As you wish."
In the Demon Realm, inside a certain trading company's conference room, the Underworld King rushed out in a frantic panic...
"God of Fate! You, your work is—"
"Which do you think is more important, my job or Kai-chan’s birthday!?"
"Naturally, it is Kaito-san’s birthday."
"Shallow Vernal-sama!? S-Since when did you...?"
In the God Realm, the one at the very top personally took command...
"Luna, report!"
"Already, formal requests for visits to this house have arrived from the rulers of the Arclesia Empire and the Hydra Kingdom!"
"We can't possibly host them here! Tell my brother to secure a venue immediately! This is going to be an absolute disaster!!"
"U-Understood!"
In the Human Realm, the head of a certain Ducal House began making frantic arrangements with teary eyes...
In places the man himself was entirely unaware of, preparations for a birthday party involving all three worlds were being advanced at a breakneck pace.