The name’s Mikel. Or, well... honestly, I don’t even know what to say anymore. Let’s just say I’m one very exhausted Mikel.
Alfred had corrected me. He conceded that we were indeed heading into territory infested with magic beasts and monsters, but he insisted the creatures themselves weren't the point. Since we’d officially registered at the guild, he claimed we were duty-bound to call this an "adventure."
Fine. I saw his point, and I wasn't about to argue.
So, let's try this again.
We were departing on an adventure!
Our leader: Alfred. The luggage carrier: Me. Companions: Three princes and three noble ladies. Escorts: Thirty guards, ten of whom were women.
Trailing us at a slight distance were another two hundred guards. Behind them followed twenty wagons loaded with food, water, and supplies.
Was this really an adventure? It felt more like a full-scale military march. Alfred had even chosen a destination close by—an area currently plagued by magic beasts—specifically out of consideration for our tag-along companions.
"It wasn’t out of consideration," he’d told me. "I simply cannot tolerate beasts that ravage farmlands. That is all."
Sure, but even so... the sheer amount of firepower we brought was overkill.
"Weren’t the escorts supposed to stay out of the combat?" I asked.
"There is likely already a unit ahead of us at the destination."
"Well, if that brings peace to the locals, I suppose it isn’t a bad thing."
He was remarkably mature. I knew better than to compare him to the princes, who had only managed to join us by exploiting every ounce of their parents' political weight.
The excursion lasted four days: two for travel and two at the site. In that time, we exterminated twenty magic beasts. Alfred didn't lift a finger; the noble ladies did almost all the work. The three princes managed to take down one beast between them, though that was only because the ladies had softened it up for them right before they struck. I kept my mouth shut, since dealing with their moods would be a hassle. If it built their confidence, fine—as long as it didn't turn into arrogance.
As for me? I was just the luggage carrier. I’d appreciate it if everyone kept their expectations of me to a minimum.
Apparently, we could earn a small income by selling the materials harvested from the beasts. Of course, when you factored in the wages for over two hundred guards, we were operating at a massive loss, but I decided not to sweat the details.
The guards were actually killing more beasts than we were, but Alfred noted that their methods were "sloppy." Their crude way of fighting damaged the valuable parts of the monsters, rendering them worthless on the market. He actually lined up the carcasses to show the difference, pointing out how the noble ladies had killed their prey while carefully preserving the usable materials.
It wasn't that the guards were incompetent; it was just a difference in philosophy. An adventurer hunts for profit, while a guard hunts for safety. You can’t exactly focus on surgical precision when your primary job is making sure your client doesn't get eaten.
In any case, we successfully cleared out the beasts that had been ruining the local fields. The objective of our adventure had been achieved. All that remained was the return trip to the Royal Capital.
I let my guard down. That was my first mistake.
We were camping that night. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, and while it was dark, no one had turned in yet. We were gathered in front of the tents, debating the watch rotation. The thirty escorts were nearby, and with a group this size, we had seven campfires burning just in our immediate vicinity.
Suddenly, every single fire went out at once.
Then came the heavy thuds of the escorts collapsing. The princes went down, too. Alfred whispered that it was magic. Only those of us standing right next to him—me and the three noble ladies—remained conscious.
I couldn't tell if all the guards had fallen because of the sudden darkness. All I could see were four suspicious silhouettes. Two men and two women, I guessed. They were laughing with an eerie, low resonance.
Enemies.
I gripped my sword and shouted, "Any guards still standing, secure the perimeter! There might be more of them!"
I told myself to stay calm. We just had to buy time. Once the two hundred guards stationed further away noticed all our fires had vanished, they’d come running. I moved the noble ladies behind Alfred and me. They were probably better fighters, but I wasn't about to hide behind them.
Wait... Alfred? Why wasn't he moving? He was just standing there. He claimed it was "polite" to hear what they had to say. This from the guy who was punching people mid-sentence back at the guild?
"Pardon the intrusion... hehehe," one of the figures said.
"We are weak to the light, you see. That is why we chose this hour for our visit."
"The reason we have come here is—"
"Wait," Alfred interrupted. "You have forgotten your introductions."
"You’re right. It is only polite to name oneself... hehehe."
"Tch. Just tell them already."
"I’ll leave it to you."
"Fine... understood."
At that, the four of them readied their weapons in perfect synchronization.
"Carla of the Moonlight." "Aswan the Pulverizer." "Marchosias the Immovable." "Neka of the Firefly Light." "We are the Nocturnal Butterfly. The Four Scythes of the Death God!"
Suddenly, their eyes flared with a sinister red light. In the pitch black of the night, it was terrifying. I instinctively stepped forward, ready to strike. The closest one was about thirty paces away. Charging straight at magic users was usually a mistake, so I planned to swing right while Alfred took the left. We’d take one down first—
Alfred’s hand clamped onto my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. Was there a trap? No... he just insisted that since they’d introduced themselves, it was only "polite" for us to do the same.
This was not the time!
He told me to stay calm and just stand there with a "fearless smile." He even started positioning the noble ladies to strike a specific pose.
While I was internally screaming, Alfred let his cloak flare out behind him.
"I am humbled by your courteous greeting," he began. I couldn't see exactly what he was doing in the dark, but I could tell he was posing. "Since you have named yourselves, I shall do the same. My name is Alfred. Alfred Machio. Though born of a great father and mother, I am but a fledgling adventurer who has yet to achieve anything... no, those words are too grand. I am merely a pitiful lost child."
Alfred looked at me. Was it my turn? "U-um, I’m Mikel."
The noble ladies followed suit, and then a heavy silence fell over the camp.
What were the guards doing? I told them to watch the perimeter, but were they just ignoring this whole drama? And where were the backup guards? Alfred was working so hard to buy time, and no one was taking advantage of it.
Alfred was the one to break the silence. "I have a question."
"What is it? Hehe," replied the woman called Carla.
"Those red eyes. How did you do that? Magic? Or medicine?"
Alfred? Are you really worried about their eye color right now?
"Hehehe... I’m so glad you asked! Yes, it’s medicine! Amazing, right?"
"Incredible! I want some! How can I get it?"
Alfred!
"I can’t tell you that so easily. This is a secret medicine among secret medicines."
"If I join the Nocturnal Butterfly, will you tell me?"
Alfred, stop! And you, Carla—don't actually stop and consider it! What happened to the fight?
"Relax, Mikel," Alfred said, looking back at me. "They have no hostile intent."
"They don't?"
"If they wanted to fight, they would have attacked two days ago. They’ve been tailing us and watching since then."
I... I hadn't noticed at all.
"I think they only spoke up now because we were about to head home."
Wait, then what about the fires?
"Staging. Just to make their eyes look more impressive."
And the guards and princes collapsing?
"Also staging. They didn't cast the spell on anyone standing near me."
I tried to process the fact that this was all just a performance. But why?
"You’ll have to ask them," Alfred said, prompting the group.
Carla and the others looked at each other sheepishly before one answered, "W-we’re just shy... appearing in front of a big crowd is a little embarrassing."
What an absolutely pathetic reason. I’m relighting the fires.
Alfred: "Yes! The unprecedented! The transcendental, solitary, and sorrowful warrior! The man who loves the darkness and is loved by the darkness in return! I am Alfred! Alfred Machio!"
Mikel: "..."
Noble Ladies: "So cool!"
The Four: "W-we’ve been defeated..."
Alfred: "Hmm... it’s not quite the direction I was aiming for."
Understanding Guard: "I think it feels a bit too much like a one-off gag."
Alfred: "Right. I’ll have to think of a different greeting."