If I were the one to take away your most precious things... That was Shiro-san’s question. I couldn't explain why, but I felt as if those words carried a weight far beyond a simple hypothetical.
I couldn't quite pin down exactly what she meant by "precious things," but even so...
"I wouldn't hate you."
"Why is that?"
"Because... I’m sure you’d have a reason for doing it, Shiro-san."
"And if that reason were trivial?"
What was this? The way she pressed for an answer suggested that this wasn't just a passing whim. Shiro-san clearly had something specific in mind. She wasn't just speaking on a impulse; this was likely tied to the trial she had mentioned before.
"Even then, I wouldn't hate you."
"..."
"Naturally, if it actually came to that, I’d resist with everything I have. To protect what’s dear to me, I might even end up opposing you as an enemy. But I would never hate you for it."
"Why?"
"Well, I can't really know if your reason is truly trivial or not. Even if it seems trivial to me, it might be something irreplaceable and vital to you."
I didn't know what Shiro-san was thinking. But as I considered it again, I realized that, for better or worse, I had come to truly like her. That was why I could say with such certainty that I wouldn't hate her. Because...
"I believe in you, Shiro-san. I don't think you’re the kind of person who would try to take away my precious things for a truly trivial reason."
"..."
Shiro-san was certainly airheaded, and there were parts of her that were incomprehensible or entirely outside the realm of common sense. But she was by no means a bad person. There had been many times when she had looked out for me in her own way. That was why I trusted that she wouldn't do something so cruel without a meaningful purpose.
Hearing my response, Shiro-san fell silent for a long moment. Then, she slowly turned her gaze toward the sky of the God Realm.
"I had nothing."
"Eh?"
I tilted my head at her sudden, quiet murmur. Shiro-san stood up from the bath and drifted toward the center of the hot spring. The sight of her from behind, her incredibly long hair trailing across the water, was so picturesque that it momentarily stole my breath.
Without turning back to face me, Shiro-san spoke again in her monotone voice.
"That is not a metaphor. I truly had nothing. No heart, no emotions, no purpose... Lacking everything, I simply stood at the end of all things as an existence meant only to bring an end. I was always at the conclusion."
"End everything?"
"Yes, that is what I was. If I were to express it in the language of your world, Kaito-san, it might be more accurate to call me an entity that was nothing more than the 'Shallow Vernal System.' If that is my true form, then the 'me' speaking to you now is likely nothing more than a 'bug'."
Shiro-san’s words were abstract, and perhaps because I lacked the necessary context, I couldn't fully grasp her meaning. However, I intuitively felt that this was something I must not let slip by.
"Thinking back on it now, I suppose the very first emotion I felt was doubt. A tiny doubt born within me—the one who had continued to end countless billions of existences without reason."
"..."
"I witnessed many different existences. There were those who loved the worlds they created, and those who hated them. Those who created worlds out of ignorance, and those who created them for the sake of another... I simply could not understand it."
"What was it that you didn't understand?"
"Joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure... I didn't understand what they were. My heart was a void. Smiling, raging, grieving, rejoicing... I didn't know how to do any of it. I didn't even think such things were necessary."
She didn't understand hearts, she didn't understand emotions... Did she mean that she lacked what a person normally acquires naturally through the process of growing up?
"But you're different now, right?"
"Yes. A heart... whether I simply hadn't noticed it before or if it was born precisely because I held doubts—regardless, I had one. Kuro was the one who made me realize that."
"..."
"And once I realized that I had a heart... I sought emotions. I continued to search for someone who could teach me."
She had realized the existence of her heart, but she still didn't understand emotions. That was why she sought someone to teach her.
Taken at face value, her words weren't contradictory. But what was this? This strange, nagging feeling that something was off...
At the very least, the Shiro-san I knew would laugh sometimes and pout at others. Even if her facial expressions were subtle, it clearly seemed to me that she possessed emotions.
What was it? Something felt hazy. I felt as though I was overlooking something vital, but the answer wouldn't surface.
"I wonder what the result was? One could say it was exactly as I wished, or one could say it was not."
"Shiro-san?"
Having said that, Shiro-san turned back to face me... and wore a faint, sorrowful smile.
"Kaito-san. If the one who met you first was me... If the one who saved you was me... I... to your special..."
"Eh?"
What was that? It wasn't that Shiro-san’s voice was too quiet to hear. And yet, I couldn't make out specific parts of her sentence at all. What did she just say? What on earth was it that I couldn't hear?
"Shiro-san, just now..."
"My apologies. That was a dull story. It isn't good for your body to soak for too long, so let's end things here for today."
"Wait—wha!?"
"Well then, I shall look forward to tomorrow."
Shiro-san cut the conversation short, and suddenly my body was enveloped in a dazzling light.
By the time I came to, I was back at the Central Tower, dressed in my pajamas. If I walked straight down this hallway, I would reach my bedroom.
But... wait. I was with Shiro-san just a moment ago... what had we been talking about?
Let's see, I was suddenly abducted to the God Realm by Shiro-san, we went into a hot spring together... and after some idle small talk, I came back.
Ah, that was it. Honestly, to forget a conversation from just a moment ago at my age... I must be more tired than I thought. Well, anyway, I’m supposed to go around the festival with Shiro-san tomorrow, so I should head to bed early and recover my strength.
I felt like something was bothering me, but there was no point in thinking about it further. I started walking toward my bedroom, but then I stopped in my tracks.
—If the one who met you first was me... If the one who saved you was me... could I have become your special someone?
For a fleeting moment, those words I had no memory of hearing flickered through my mind.
Dear Mother, Father—I don't know where those mysterious words came from or who said them. But somehow, I knew. I felt that no matter what happened, I must never forget them.