After expressing my gratitude to Shia-san for her help and handing over the super-spicy vegetable seeds Shiro-san had created for me, I finally reached the Central Square.
Still, when I thought about it... it really was impressive how many people I’d run into today.
Chris-san, Eden-san, Falce-san, Laguna-san, Magnawell-san, Zwei-san, Raz-san, Acht, Eva, Ein-san, and then Shia-san... and those were just the ones I’d actually spoken with. If I included Lilia-san’s group, I had encountered fourteen people in a single day.
Everyone was attending the same festival, so it wasn't a total impossibility, but considering the absurd scale of the venue, the probability of coincidentally bumping into so many acquaintances was staggering.
Well, I was almost at the Central Tower now, so surely I wouldn't run into anyone else—
"Listen here, you pervert. I’m certain I’ve told you countless times never to show your face before me again. Do you have a death wish?"
"Just looking at you is stifling. As expected, you lowly muscle-brains are as lacking in intellect as ever. If you vanish from my sight this instant, perhaps I'll let you crawl away?"
"..."
Spoke too soon. Right in the middle of the Central Square, two women were locked in a tense standoff. Ah, so that was why the area was completely deserted...
It made sense. On one side stood the Head of the Five War Generals; on the other, the strongest of the Count-class high-ranking demons. The two of them were clearly a terrible match, and they were trading venomous words while radiating a palpable bloodlust.
"...Hey, Alice. If I’m wrong, just tell me, but... do Agni-san and Pandora-san get along poorly?"
"Oh, their relationship is the absolute worst. Honestly, the reason Megiddo-san's subordinates and mine are constantly at each other's throats is entirely because those two have such an incredibly hostile dynamic."
It seemed Agni-san and Pandora-san were genuine enemies. This wasn't a case of mutual respect between rivals like Ein-san and Chronoa-san; they looked like they were ready to kill each other.
Then again, considering their personalities, I couldn't imagine them ever seeing eye to eye.
"I merely came here to apologize to Miyama-sama for the trouble my subordinates caused. I have no business with you. I’ll overlook your presence just for today, so hurry up and get out of my sight."
"What a relief. I’ve been keeping watch to ensure that no insolent pests like the War King's subordinates approach Miyama-sama. I'm truly glad I came. To think such a particularly foul insect was trying to pester him... how utterly disrespectful."
"A pervert like you loitering around him is far more disrespectful, you know."
"Hah! It seems muscle-brains aren't just thick-headed; they have poor eyesight as well. Me, a pervert? Hahaha, don't make me laugh! All I wish is for Miyama-sama to bind my body with ropes and chains, and then ravish me until my very soul is exhausted, surrendering to his carnal desires!"
"You're a pervert no matter how you look at it!"
I found myself in complete agreement with Agni-san. I mean... what on earth are you fantasizing about, Pandora-san?! This woman is hopeless. We have to do something before this gets out of hand.
"...Alice, she’s your subordinate. Do something."
"...No, thank you. I’ve already washed my hands of that girl’s sexual preferences. She’s officially outside my jurisdiction."
While I stood there, utterly repulsed by Pandora-san’s extreme desires, their argument continued to escalate.
"...Aren't you the one acting like a female gorilla, desperately throwing yourself at a withered old man? Ah, excuse me. You’re being rejected after throwing yourself at him. That was the more accurate description, wasn't it?"
"Listen here, you freak... I don't care what you say about me, but if you intend to insult Ozma-sama, I will show no mercy. I'll kill you!"
"You, kill me? Fufu, you shouldn't speak of things you couldn't possibly achieve. It’s pathetic."
"..."
This was bad. A full-blown battle was about to erupt.
"Alice, this is getting dangerous! Stop them!"
"Good grief, she really is a handful... Fine, fine. Well, I’ll stop—actually, there's no need."
"Eh?"
"The peacemaker is here."
Almost the exact moment Alice spoke, Agni-san and Pandora-san both threw punches at each other. A collision between two people with such overwhelming power could have easily leveled the entire square, but the impact never came.
Before I even saw him move, Ozma-san appeared between them, catching both of their fists in his hands.
"...Now, now. I like energetic girls, but I think you should choose the time and place. Fighting is strictly forbidden at the Six Kings Festival, you know."
"O-Ozma-sama?!"
"Tch."
Seeing Ozma-san offer a gentle, wry smile, Agni-san’s eyes sparkled with adoration, while Pandora-san merely clicked her tongue.
Once he was sure they had lowered their hands, Ozma-san spoke again, placing a cigarette between his lips.
"I won't force you to get along if your temperaments don't match, but you have to be considerate of the people around you."
"Yes!"
"And why should I have to take orders from—"
"Pandora, house."
"—Eh? Sh-Shaltier-sama?! Wait, where are you taking me? Is this... is this a punishment?!"
"...Why on earth are you getting excited about a punishment? Haa... Anyway, you're going over there for a lecture."
"Thank you very much!"
"...Good grief."
With Ozma-san’s arrival, Agni-san’s fighting spirit had evaporated, and Pandora-san was promptly dragged away by Alice’s split body, who was sighing the whole time. It was a chaotic scene, to say the least.
I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking things had finally settled down... but I was wrong.
"Ozma-sama!"
"Yes?"
"I love you! Please, marry me!"
"..."
Out of nowhere, Agni-san had launched into a marriage proposal! Wait, what?! Things were developing so fast I couldn't keep up.
Why on earth would she propose in a place like this?
"...I've lost track of how many tens of thousands of times I've said this, but being single just suits me better. I'm sorry."
"I understand! In that case, I shall confess again tomorrow!"
"...Yeah, neither Agni-chan nor Epsilon-chan understand a word I say, do you? We have this exact same exchange almost every single day. I really don't understand what young girls are thinking... what could you possibly see in an old man like me?"
"Everything!"
"...I-I see. Well, thank you..."
It was a rare sight. For the first time, I saw Ozma-san looking truly, genuinely troubled.
Dear Mother, Father—
I really don't know what's going on with the world today, but I've run into yet another acquaintance. That aside, I wonder if Ozma-san gets confessed to by Agni-san every single time they meet? And he has to turn her down every single time...
Yeah, it seems like a very troublesome relationship.