After browsing the stalls for a while, Isis-san and I made our way to the Central Square for the main attraction of the third day: the auction.
The square was packed with people, so we watched the proceedings from a distance to account for Isis-san's Magic Power of Death.
Upon entering the area, we had been given numbered plates to pin to our chests. These were presumably our bidder numbers. I was Number 985, and Isis-san was Number 986. I didn't have any immediate intention of buying anything, but I figured it couldn't hurt to keep an eye out for something interesting.
It was every bit as lively as one would expect of the festival’s main event. Participants were constantly raising their hands in fierce competition, while up on the central stage, an auctioneer with a microphone called out bids in rapid succession.
"...The bidders aren't actually shouting their prices. How does the auctioneer keep track of them all?"
"...In this auction... they use hand signals... The auctioneer... has advanced compound eyes... He can observe... every participant at once."
"...I see."
Since this was my first time attending an auction like this, everything felt incredibly novel. I noticed people raising their hands in shapes like a thumbs-up—I assumed that was one of the signals.
"By the way, what does this gesture mean?"
"...Ah."
"Oh! We have someone doubling the price! Number 985! One Platinum Coin!"
"...Eh?"
I had only just started to ask Isis-san about the meaning of the signal when she suddenly looked shocked. A split second later, the auctioneer called out my number.
Dammit! I see... so even from this far away, the auctioneer could see me perfectly. Which meant I had just accidentally placed a bid.
"...Um..."
"...Your number was called... It's too late... to withdraw now."
"U-Ugh... But still, it's not like the winning bid is set yet—"
"One Platinum Coin! Are there any bids higher than one Platinum Coin? ...None? Very well! This item goes to the young man, Number 985!"
"..."
I really shouldn't do careless things out of curiosity. This was a valuable lesson, albeit one with a very high tuition fee. Still, it couldn't be helped. I was the one who had been careless, so I decided I would just accept it and pay for the item.
"...Wait, what exactly did I just buy?"
"...Um..."
Realizing I didn't even know what the item was, I turned to Isis-san. She pulled a massive book out of thin air.
"What's that?"
"...The auction... catalog... Let's see... it's Catalog Number 15 right now... so the one before it was... here it is."
"Let me see... 'A journal left behind by the First Hero, twenty-three undeciphered pages'..."
...Ah. This was definitely something I wasn't supposed to see. I was willing to bet it was full of Noin-san’s cringeworthy "dark history." Yeah, as soon as I got my hands on it, I was giving it straight back to her.
Still, if my bid had doubled the previous one and reached a full Platinum Coin... that meant someone had been willing to pay five Gold Coins—five million yen—for this. As expected of the First Hero.
While I was processing that, the sale for Number 15 was finalized, and the auction moved to the next lot.
"Now then, our next item... has been provided by the Underworld King-sama herself!"
Oh? The next one was from Kuro. I wondered what it could be.
"Catalog Number 16! The Underworld King’s Handmade Baby Castellas!"
Why on earth were baby castellas being sold at a high-end auction like this? Kuro, what are you thinking...?
"Apparently, these are from a batch the Underworld King-sama made for 'a certain someone'... and represent the pieces she set aside because the 'quality wasn't quite perfect'!"
In other words, they were just a collection of her failures! More importantly, that "certain someone" had to be...
"...It's probably... Kaito... Kuromueina was... making a lot of them... to feed to you."
"...I-I see..."
What was this awkward, uncomfortable feeling? I felt like a completely inappropriate item had been put on the block just because of me...
"We shall start the bidding at one Gold Coin!"
That’s reckless beyond—wait, a sea of hands just went up!
"Number 234 bids five Gold Coins! Number 57 bids eight Gold Coins! Oh, Number 622 bids two Platinum Coins!"
"Wh-Wha... Why are the prices going that high?"
"...Kuromueina is... incredibly popular... The members of the Underworld King Fan Club... would gladly spend... their entire fortunes for this."
"..."
Should I be impressed by how popular Kuro was, or should I pity the people trying to pay tens of millions of yen for baby castellas?
As I stood there, dazed by the sheer absurdity of the situation, I spotted someone sprinting toward me.
"Miyama-sama!?"
"...Lunamaria-san?"
"Please! You have to lend me some money! I must win this bid no matter what!!"
"Are you in your right mind!?"
The resident fanatic, Lunamaria-san, shouted at me with a look of pure desperation, though she was still sensible enough to maintain her three-meter buffer zone from Isis-san.
"Of course I am! I, Lunamaria, would not begrudge my very life if it meant eating the Underworld King-sama's cooking!!"
"Please, begrudge it! Your life is important!"
"I beg of you! I tried to borrow from Milady, but she just told me to 'stop acting like a fool' and refused! Miyama-sama, you're the only one I can turn to!!"
"..."
Lilia-san was completely in the right. Honestly, it wasn't that I minded lending her the money, but as a friend, I felt like I had a moral obligation to stop Lunamaria-san's madness.
"...Let's just calm down for a moment, Lunamaria-san."
"I can't! A chance like this might never come again!!"
"...I'll just ask Kuro to make some for you later, okay?"
"As expected of Kaito-sama! Such exquisite consideration for a woman's heart! You truly are the most wonderful man in the world! At this point, I would even be willing to let you take me into your arms right here!!"
"Lilia-saaan!! Please come collect this runaway maid immediately!"
I only made the offer to calm her down, but it only seemed to make her delusions spiral further. At this rate, I really needed her guardian to come and retrieve her...
As I stood there, feeling more than a little repulsed by Lunamaria-san's sparkling, entranced gaze, I heard a soft, impressed voice from beside me.
"...She's right... Kaito is... the coolest... in the world."
"...Isis-san."
Watching Isis-san nod along in agreement, I let out a heavy sigh.
Dear Mother, Father—I came to check out the auction, but it’s been nothing but trouble from the start. Between my accidental purchase and Lunamaria-san completely losing her mind, I'm actually starting to get scared. No, really, I'm begging you—Lilia-san, please get here quickly!?
No-good Maid: "Setting that aside, Milady, why have you prepared such a vast sum of money?"
Stomach Pain: "It's... just in case."
No-good Maid: "...Now that I think about it, I did hear that a 'Dragon King-sama's Miniature Model' would be put up for bid..."
Stomach Pain: "I'm prepared to go up to 100 Platinum Coins!"
No-good Maid: "...Allow me to return your own words to you, Milady."
Stomach Pain: "...Eh?"